In the summer of 2013, Kevin Garnett and Metta World Peace both made their way to New York basketball teams. What happened next is a story fit for the funny pages. Now thanks to illustrator Brad Beatson, we get a look at Kevin & Metta’s New York Adventures. Previously, a day at Madison Square Garden.
KG: The f*** is this little Casper doin’ on my screen?
Paul Pierce: Lemme see? Haha, yo that’s Snapchat. You never seen this before?
KG: Metta. F***ing Metta. Always on my damn phone. “KG, KG, I just gotta get some tickets!!” What the f*** are you talkin about with your damn Candyland saga Metta? God dammit.
PP: Hahaha, that game is crazy yo. Don’t even start. It’s wild addicting.
Coach Kidd: Alright y’all, let’s get a layup line going.
PP: Man, shut up
KG: Layups, Jason? Really. Layups?
PP: How we supposed to respect this dude? We been playin’ against his ass our whole career and he’s talking layups?
Kidd: Now, Paul–
PP: B****, what?! Nah, Nah
Paul Pierce lunges at Jason Kidd and throws him in a headlock.
PP: Ay KG take a picture real quick!
PP: Haha! Class is dismissed, that’ll be all for today folks.
Kidd: You guys, no! You can’t leave. Guys. Come back!
Everyone leaves except for Brook Lopez.
Meanwhile, in the locker room…
Andray Blatche: Sup guys, I wanted to formally invite y’all to my birthday party Thursday. The big 2-7.
Deron: No s–t? Happy birthday, man.
Dray: Thanks bro. Dray day. Best day of the year. I woulda got ya some invitations on some save the date s–t but I just ran out a minute ago. It’s gonna be so poppin’ this year, got some surprises in store and some people flyin’ in. Lookin’ forward to seein’ y’all there.
Andray Blatche exits.
KG: What’s the count, guy?
Reggie Evans: 8-6, good guys. You’re gonna have to pull out a miracle to win.
KG: Alright, Joe, we got this. just a couple quick tricks we gotta pull.
Paul Pierce appears out of nowhere.
Paul Pierce: Did somebody say … tricks?
Deron: What in the hell are you wearing, man?
Paul Pierce: Man, shut up. You’re just jealous cause I’m headin’ out with Kim and Kanye. S–t’s about to be wild, son.
Paul Pierce leaves.
Deron: Deal the cards man.
Joe Johnson: Ohhhhh s***
KG: Bro chill. Don’t tip your hand, what the f–k.
Deron: Yeah man, that’s cheatin’ c’mon.
Reggie Evans: What’s trump, spades?
KG’s phone vibrates
KG: Man what the f–k is this s–t?
Joe Johnson: YUP YUP, I got this, I’m goin’ alone.
KG: Now hold on dude, wait what. We’re gonna get euchred and we’re going to f–king lose.
Joe Johnson: Would you relax, KG? I’m a primetime player man, PTP. That’s why I’m here.
Joe Johnson lays his entire hand down.
Reggie Evans: That’s not how we play this ga–
Joe Johnson: All red baby. Game over.
Deron & Reggie: HAHAHAHAHA.
KG: YOU F–KING IDIOT. WHAT GAME DO YOU THINK THIS IS? WE JUST LOST!
Joe: But I had the hot hand. Nothin’ can stop me when I have the hot hand in the clutch. Nothing!
KG’s phone vibrates and he sees a message from Metta World Peace that reads, “Taking the party home. Bring ham.”
To be continued…