kevin-metta-new-york-adventure

In the summer of 2013, Kevin Garnett and Metta World Peace both made their way to New York basketball teams. What happened next is a story fit for the funny pages. Now thanks to illustrator Brad Beatson, we get a look at Kevin & Metta’s New York Adventures. Previously, a day at the Barclays Center.

Metta: Kevin, we’re gonna be late. Let’s go man!
Kevin: Just one second.
Metta: What’s takin’ you so long man, it’s not like you have any ha– wait. What’s this?

Bathroom-Note

Metta: Haha, Kevin, is this serious? You’re crazy man, let’s go.
Kevin: Everything I do is serious.

KG and Metta hurry down to the lobby to meet up with J.R. Smith.

J.R. Smith: Let’s go fellas, we’re gonna be late.

JR-Armored-Truck

Kevin: What in the hell?
Metta: Dibs on the third row!
J.R.: Sorry man, that belongs to Iman now.

Shumpert-Controlled

Kevin: What happened to your eye, J.R.? Somebody didn’t want the pipe?
J.R.: Why don’t you ask your roommate what happened? I gotta pull over and get gas real quick.
Metta: Quit bein’ a baby, bro. We’re gonna toughen you up this year. We’re gunning for the title. At least beat KG and those ol’ sorry asses and take the crown of NY. Ain’t that right, Iman? We’re the kings of NY, baby bay-bay!
J.R.: Where’s this party anyway?
Kevin: Meatpacking. Just take the west side highway.
Metta: I’ll text Dray, let him know we’re coming. Hey y’all, want a roadie?

Metta World Peace pulls a bottle of Hennessy out of his jeans.

————–

Meanwhile, at the club.Knuckleheads-Love-Baltche

Dray: Alright, rock paper scissors then.
Swaggy P: All 3 of us?
Dray: Hell yeah, loser gets her.
Swaggy P: Aight. Rock … paper … scissor — SHOOT!
Swaggy P and Dray: Hahahaha, loser!

Rock-Paper-Scissors

————–

In the car.

Metta: They’re at the club. ‘Bout to get lapdances. It’s Tuesday, after all. Pierce couldn’t get in cause he refused to take off his headband.
Kevin: Typical Paul. Yo let me get some of that bottle, Metta.
J.R.: Hold up guys, I gotta get some gas. Wait to smack that ’til I get back.
Kevin: Are you serious? We’ve driven 4 blocks…
J.R.: SWAG DON’T COME CHEAP, KEVIN.
Metta: LET’S DO THIS, SHOT FOR SHOT KG.

————–

Back at the club.

Swaggy P: Man, you fink I could hiddat?
Dray: Bettah bliedat you take enoff shots to adit. I aint posed to be payin.
Swaggy P: You right yourite. Immawait til affer this nest drink tho.
Dray: Where the f— is Pierre? AY PIERRE, HURRY UP DAMMIT.

Croissants-Final

————–

Back in the car

Kevin: J.R., J.R. Hey, Hey. J.R.
J.R.: Would you stop f—ing tapping me on the shoulder?
Kevin: J.R. Tell me a story. Tell me about Ri. Badgirl Riri. Oh Ri.
J.R.: Ask her yourself, y’all can come out with us next Thursday.
Metta: F— BEN AFFLECK. I. AM. BATMAN.

F__K-Ben-Affleck

To be continued…