I know that sounds like a hyper-specific Onion headline, but listen to this zinger from the 1:45 mark of Juicy J’s “Bounce It,” which features both Wale and Trey Songz (no relation):

Bald-headed scallywags, real n—-s salute me
Catch me at that Memphis game, seats saved by Rudy

We all know Wale and Rudy Gay are bros from back in the D.C. area. And we also all know that Rudy Gay is no longer on the Memphis Grizzlies, which means he probably doesn’t have the pull to save Wale seats at the Memphis game, which makes sense considering he didn’t have the pull to save himself a seat at the Memphis game.

But it’s all good though. As it turns out, Wale still has the hookup:

Or Marc Gasol, or Selby doe, that’s plenty dough

OK phew — Wale is still going to be able to sit courtside for the Grizzlies, thanks to his good friend Marc Gasol, who must be thrilled to finally end up in a rap song. At least that is settled, which is good since Josh Selby (another DMV guy like Wale and Rudy) is also not on the Grizzlies any more, as he was traded last season as well.

This is the danger of incessantly making sports references when you rap. Because sometimes, the person you’re rapping about gets traded because they can’t see straight enough to shoot, leaving you to brag about something that doesn’t make sense any more. And even if we go with the single release date (June 25) rather than the “Straight Trippy” album release date (this Tuesday), that’s still nearly five months after Rudy Gay was traded away from the Grizzlies, robbing him of his seat-saving abilities.

I guess if you’re going to rap about someone, make sure they have a no-trade clause.