“We crack jokes sometimes about what he used to [look like] in high school.” — Zach Randolph, who probably would have picked on Marc Gasol in high school
Posted by Trey Kerby under Memphis Grizzlies, Quickies on May 14, 2013
Posted by Trey Kerby under 2013 NBA Playoffs, Food, New York Knicks on May 14, 2013
We all know that this postseason has been marred by injuries, which sucks, but the weirder thing is how players from coast to coast have been getting sick during these playoffs. Luol Deng had a spinal tap, Nate Robinson was throwing up on the sidelines and I am sure there are some non-Bulls in there too, but those guys are pretty notable re: illness.
Two such guys are J.R. Smith and Kenyon Martin, both of whom are New York Knicks and both of whom are battling sickness with a huge Game 4 coming up tonight. And that’s exactly why this report from Monday night is so funny. From the New York Post:
J.R. Smith missed practice again yesterday and was called “a game-time decision’’ by coach Mike Woodson. But there’s good news on Smith’s health as he was spotted Sunday at about 10:30 p.m. at Steak N Shake.
Smith was seen at the downtown Indianapolis landmark with his brother Chris Smith and Knicks forward James White, who will be deactivated tonight.
Smith was holding a bag of food.
Oh snap — J.R. Smith was caught eating food! Can you even believe it? On the night before a playoff game, no less. Inconceivable.
But wait, there’s a double oh snap coming, because that smoking
gun bag of food might have brought him back to life. From Newsday’s Alan Hahn:
Smith and Martin stayed away from the team on Monday while battling a virus but were back on the court for Tuesday’s morning shoot-around. Woodson on Monday said Smith “could be a game-time decision” while Martin’s illness is “not as severe, but he’s headed in that direction.”
Both said they plan to play tonight.
If I’m Steak ‘n Shake’s marketing team, I am finding the biggest whiteboard I can and starting to jot down slogans, because this situation is a gold mine. They could go with “Burgers so good you won’t be sick any more” or “Steak ‘n Shake — we’ll get you healthy” or “Steakburgers, because you wouldn’t want to miss shootaround” or “You tryin’ to get the Steakburger?” or “Sixth Man, burger fan” with J.R. Smith’s face popping up around a burger while he poses or like a million other things that are silly because an NBA player was eating a sloppy burger at a casual dining establishment the night before a game when he was sick.
Of course, the real key will be seeing if he can improve on his 11-42 shooting (3-16 from three) through the first three games against the Pacers. If he throws up another stinker, it won’t matter how many ways he took his chili. I mean, Steak n’ Shake can take you pretty far in life, but those thin, smashed patties and those thin, salty fries aren’t a guarantee of playoff success, otherwise I would own several championship rings. It’s like that old saying — “You can lead a J.R. Smith to Steak n’ Shake, but you can’t make his shots go in.”
(Side note: No reports on what Kenyon Martin had to eat last night. Probably Cracker Barrel.)
Posted by Trey Kerby under Baseball, Score Video, Toronto Raptors on May 14, 2013
Must have learned from R.A. Dickey, or a host of other “Blue Jays are bad at pitching and/or baseball” jokes.
Posted by Trey Kerby under 2013 NBA Playoffs, Chicago Bulls, Score Video on May 14, 2013
Well, when you’ve played 11 seconds in the past six months, I guess it would be a pretty big surprise to get first half playing time. Nonetheless, this was a lot of fidgeting with his mask and a lot a lot A LOT of spandex showing while Rip ran around having no idea what to do on defense. Glad he finally got everything figured eventually. That headband over the mask is crucial.
P.S. Rip Hamilton tucks his jersey in to his spandex.
(via Oskar Jamtander)
Ballin: Is it possible that Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph came from the same zygote? I know it would be a very bizarre separated-at-birth story, but both of them scored 23 points in the Grizzlies’ Game 4 overtime victory, they shot 8-18 and 8-17 respectively, they grabbed 11 and 12 rebounds respectively and they were wearing the same clothes with just a minor change all night. If that doesn’t scream twins, I don’t know what does.
Not so much: The Chicago Bulls scored 65 points in a home playoff game. It was gross.
And Tyler too: Check out Ol’ Tippecanoe Marquis Teague over here.
Considering the video comes from the NBA and is labeled “Marquis Teague’s accidental tip-in on his own basket,” we know that Marquis Teague is technically the one who tipped the ball in even though Chris Andersen gets the points. That means Marquis Teague scored more for the Heat than he did for the Bulls. It was gross.
Posted by Trey Kerby under Dallas Mavericks, NBA Fashion on May 13, 2013
Have you ever wanted to go on “Shark Tank” or at least watched “Shark Tank” with your mom while trying to kill a few hours? If you’ve answered yes to either of these questions, this story is right up your alley and also I think our mothers would probably get along.
The Mavs are going to re-do our uniforms for the 2015-16 season… if we get a unique and original design. What’s the best way to come up with creative ideas ? You ask for them. So we are going to crowd source the design and colors of our uniforms.
You know what an NBA uniform looks like. You know what the Mavs colors are for today and the past. We want some new ideas that stay true to our logo and at least close to our current color schemes. Show us what you got !
How do you participate ? You post your ideas/pictures/graphics/videos/photos directly on this blog. Yes we want every one to see them. Steve Jobs said “everything is a remix” . Uniforms probably more so than even technology. So we want every post to inspire other ideas and posts. [...]
This is your chance to get bragging rights and put your signature design on the Dallas Mavs and the NBA.
This opportunity will last till the last day in May.
Submitting ideas in public to Mark Cuban, who will then decide on those ideas — it’s your own personal episode of “Shark Tank,” only this one is played out on the internet. And really, this is a great opportunity because you can’t do worse than those silver Mavs jerseys from a few years back. Not to mention, when you consider that Diddy designed the green Dallas alternates that the team wore a couple seasons ago, you’ll be in pretty sweet company once you become the Mavericks’ new stylist. Or as Diddy might say, “Uh-huh yeah.”