Archive for the ‘2011 NBA Playoffs’ Category

“[It's] almost a surreal feeling. I told my teammates it felt like I have been wandering the NBA wilderness for the last 10 years.”Shane Battier, on finally playing for a championship

After this past season’s Finals were over, the story went that the Mavericks won because they were a veteran team that had been together for years, who had grown as a team, and who knew how to win a title because they’d gone through everything they could possibly encounter on their way to a championship. Led by a bunch of 30-somethings, the Mavs won because of their experience.

That’s all well and good for the games, but when it came time to bask in the glory of their first title, the Mavericks had no idea what they were doing. From the Oakland Tribune:

In his moment of ultimate professional glory, after a lifetime of dedication, the man with all the basketball answers was uncharacteristically indecisive.

Always knowing precisely where the ball should go, who should get it and when it should arrive, Jason Kidd, newly crowned NBA champion, was utterly flummoxed.

The kid who grew up on East Bay basketball courts didn’t know where to turn or what to do. He had no clue about protocol. His teammates had no idea, either, and for once, Kidd, the oldest and most accomplished among them, could not assist.

“(It was) surreal in the sense that we won a championship, and we really didn’t know how to celebrate in the locker room,” is the way Kidd describes it now, still digesting the evening his Dallas Mavericks ousted the Miami Heat in six games to win it all.

Fun scene to imagine. A bunch of giddy basketball players are just standing around trying to figure out what to do, just looking at each other with giant bottles of champagne in their hands, asking each other, “So spray this on your face, I guess?” Meanwhile, DeShawn Stevenson’s in the corner getting new tattoos on body parts that shouldn’t be tattooed because that’s what he does when he’s happy. And Corey Brewer is just smiling through everything, since that’s his default facial setting. Sounds like a wild time.

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Now this is how you settle a lawsuit that says you mismanaged a franchise, by filing a legal brief that says you can’t mismanage a team to a championship, duh. From a legal brief filed by Mark Cuban:

Under Hillwood’s ownership, the team was deemed the “worst franchise” in all of professional sports. Under Cuban’s stewardship the Mavericks have become one of the league’s most successful teams and are now NBA champions. Accordingly, there can be no genuine question that Hillwood’s claims of mismanagement lack merit and Hillwood’s claims should be disposed of on summary judgment.

Love this. Love the “no genuine question” part in particular, which essentially says “C’mon, we’re the champs. Step your mismanagement claims up.” Love that there’s a gigantic picture of the Mavericks celebrating their championship, which is being presented as evidence that the Mavs are well run. Love every single bit of this.

It’s like when Leslie Knope had her boyfriend deposed following a dinner party, just to get it on record. Except this is real life. Every part of this is the best.

(via Deadspin)

I’m not sure why the Mavericks insist on waking up anyone who fell asleep on their flight home after Game 6, but I’m very glad they did because it’s hilarious. Also kind of surprised your dad likes Lucky Charms. Always figured him to be more of a Corn Flakes with a ton of sugar kind of guy.

(via NBA Offseason)

You were probably thinking, “The season is over. DeShawn Stevenson already busted out his ‘Tell Me How My Dirk Tastes’ t-shirt. There is nothing left to accomplish, hater-wise. He’s done it all.”

Nope! From ESPN:

“It makes me feel good, man, to beat him, to beat that Miami team,” Stevenson told in an AmericanAirlines Arena hallway after the Mavs clinched the title with Sunday’s Game 6 win. “The way they act, the way they treated Dirk [Nowitzki], all the things that they said were very classless. To win on the court the way we did it, it was wonderful.” [...]

“I think we did it with class,” said Stevenson, who was involved in a shoving match with Miami’s Udonis Haslem and Mario Chalmers that resulted in technical fouls for each during the second quarter of Game 6. “They tried all kind of different things and made fun of us and were on the go-karts laughing after Game 1, like they already won the championship. To beat them on their court, it feels good.”

Pardon me, but hahahahahahahahahahaha (LOL). DeShawn Stevenson called the Heat “classless” minutes before donning an anti-LeBron James shirt for a title celebration. If he were a pot, he’d be like, “Hey kettle, you’re black and classless.” Then he’d pretend like he can’t feel his cast iron face. If he met J.R. Smith, he’d say, “You have a weird neck tattoo.” And so on and so forth.

I especially like how Tim MacMahon includes the part about DeShawn getting in a pushing match during Game 6, just to remind you that he’s a bit of a wacko. He probably thinks Drew Gooden was weird for wearing a number in the 90s.

What are you doing, Girl in Red? It is the last 18 seconds of the NBA Finals and you are running on the court, splitting the defense as you hurry back to your seat. But at least you were there. A lot of other Miami fans can’t say the same.

Pretty weird way to end the season, but at least LeBron was finally interested in something in Game 6.

(via Grzesiek)

After 12 seasons in the league, it’s understandable that Shawn Marion would have a crush on the Larry O’Brien trophy. Totally natural to treat it like the One Ring. Even the dry humps make sense, given the circumstances.

However, you’d think he’d realize which way the thing is supposed to face in pictures. Unless that’s how he thinks you’re supposed to pose for photos, with both parties facing each other. If so, prom must have been awkward.