Archive for the ‘2013 All-Star Weekend’ Category


I know you’ve been wondering what noted Canadian big men Tristan Thompson and Andrew Nicholson think about bagged milk, that most minor of phenomena that us Americans just can’t stop thinking is weird. That’s why I asked both of them about those silly little baggies.

Here’s Tristan Thompson.

TBJ: Which do you miss more about Canada — loonies and toonies or bagged milk?

Thompson: Bagged milk.

TBJ: Why?

Thompson: Cause it’s easier to just cut it open with scissors.

TBJ: The jugs kind of seem like a hassle.

Thompson: Yeah, exactly. I’m kinda tired of these cardboards you have to open up and all this. It’s too much work.

And here’s Andrew Nicholson.

TBJ: Which do you miss more about Canada — loonies and toonies or bagged milk?

Nicholson: (laughs) I do kinda missed bagged milk.

TBJ: It’s easier.

Nicholson: It is easier. American’s don’t realize that.

So there you go — bagged milk is better than dollar coins and opening cardboards is too much work. This has been your Canadian milk bag report of the day.


Live from a Houston hotel room, it’s Suite Talk! On today’s show The Jones let you behind the curtain of All-Star Weekend and break down Media Day, the Celebrity Game, and the Rising Stars Challenge. All that, plus James “Flight” White blocks a third-grader, Trey crashes the TNT set, Tyler Zeller rescues us, and the Box-Out Kid returns. Well, for a bit.


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Odds are you either have wood floors, know someone who does or understand the general concept of those particular household finishings. Furthermore, if you know about the wood floors, you probably know that sliding around on them in socks is both a) fun and b) inevitable. After all, we’ve all seen “Risky Business” or the “Risky Business” rip-off episode of “Saved By the Bell.” At this point, slip-slidin’ away in stocking feet is a pretty well-known phenomenon.

So if everyone knows how slippery it is to wear socks on hardwood, why doesn’t everyone love Gerald Green’s between-the-legs slam while in socks from the 2008 dunk contest? It was a question five years in the making.

TBJ: Do you think people don’t understand how hard it is to dunk in your socks?

Green: Yeah, you’re right. People really didn’t understand that when I first did it. I always tell people, “Man, go try it yourself and you’ll see how hard it is.” At worst they’re gonna try it and they’ll say, “Man, it’s hard.”

I just think that maybe I didn’t prepare that right, to kind of let people know first, set it up right. That’s when I knew the dunk contest was changing and how you have to prepare to do it, so I’m well prepared now.

Not to quibble with Gerald Green, but I think “at worst” we’re talking about a lot of busted skulls if everyone who thinks it’s easy to dunk after jumping off a hardwood floor while wearing just socks tries to dunk while wearing just socks. Safety first, guys.

But what he’s getting at is totally right — doing anything in socks while on a wood floor is almost impossible. I’ve had quite a few close calls around the ottoman while I’m chasing Yams around in my socks. And yeah, maybe I have fallen back in to bed after taking a wrong step after a cozy, sock-footed night in bed. So what? We’ve all been there, which is why we all should have been like, “Whoa. Gerald Green just went between his legs in his socks.”

Personally, I blame Magic Johnson, who immediately said, “But why he do the same dunk though?” after Green had thrown down his final dunk and kind of failed to mention how hard it is to move around when you’re in your socks. Oh, and also Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith for making shoe jokes for the next half-minute like they possess some sort of ninja-like balance that makes them pros in sock walking. Because when fan voting decides the contest’s winner like it did in 2008, having three commentators totally miss the point of a dunk kind of kills any buzz it might have had. C’est la vie.

That being said, the second half of the quote is pretty encouraging. Even though people not getting what he was doing might have cost him that year’s title, now he knows what he needs to do to really destroy this time around. Because seriously, that little “I’m well-prepared now” is a nice bit of pre-contest trash talk. Tonight is going to be awesome.


We all had a laugh when we heard that Andre Drummond was spending Pistons practices playing hand drums to help during his rehab from a recent back injury. Drumming, after all, is a pretty funny way to fix a back. And of course, his last name is Drummond, so the giggle factor was kicked up a notch. It was a perfect internet story.

Which is why I’m kind of bummed out that I have to tell everyone that it’s not really the case. Because according to Drummond, that was all just a big joke, as I found out yesterday at All-Star Media Day.

TBJ: Are you getting any better at the drums?

Drummond: That was a joke. I don’t really play the drums in practice.

TBJ: You don’t?!?

Drummond: I was joking around in practice one day. I don’t really do that.

Even though there are a few quotes about this being a real thing, I guess it does make more than a little bit of sense that a professional athlete wouldn’t be instructed to play the drums on the sideline while his team was practicing. Not only would it be annoying, it would also be REALLY annoying.

Fun while it lasted though.

This is the kind of thing that happens at All-Star Weekend — a future dunk contest champion wandering outside the All-Star arena for an interview, then seeing some kids playing basketball and deciding to lace up his kicks. You know, normal Friday afternoon stuff.


All-Star Weekend is not only my favorite time of the NBA season, but one of the best examples of why the NBA is the greatest professional sports league. Other sports get one night, maybe two for their All-Star festivities, and just a handful of events between them. We get an entire f—king three-night weekend, with enough separate events and participants to nearly qualify as an Olympics of some sort. It’s all great, with every competition equally essential in its own way — with the notable exception of the Shooting Stars competition, of course, and even that is usually more fun to watch than you remember. It’s a total over-indulgence in NBA culture and consequence-free competition, and I wouldn’t change a minute of it. (Though the “loser wears short shorts the next season” idea for the game proper is a pretty great one.)

Anyway, though every All-Star Weekend is automatically great, every year packs a unique undercurrent of intrigue to give the proceedings just enough context to be specifically dramatic and important-seeming, even if in reality, what happens at All-Star Weekend generally stays at All-Star Weekend. It is, after all, a surreal three-day excursion where rivals become teammates, rewards are given for making the easiest shot in the NBA seem as difficult as possible, and being able to make a half-court shot is actually a skill of some importance. Here are the 10 subplots that should be giving this year’s festivities their punch.

1. Will the Slam Dunk Contest be “Back” or “Dead”? Every year it’s one of the two, with no in-between. Things are looking up for the Contest being “Back” this year, however. Not only are there six contestants that all seem like good selections and potential winners, but history is on this year’s side, with us due for a “Back” year. Consider:

2009: Back (Nate Rob over Dwight Howard)
2010: Dead (Nate Rob over who remembers)
2011: Back (Blake Griffin over a Kia)
2012: Dead (Jeremy Evans over Kevin Hart)

So looks like this year, we’re clearly on pace for a “Back” year. There also might be some correlation here with whether or not Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow on Groundhog Day, but I haven’t done the necessary research into that.

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Did you see me? There in the back. Behind the guy. No, the other guy.

No? Fine. This will help. Enhance.






All-Star Weekend: where dreams come true.

(Thanks Matt Moore and CJ Fogler)