You can tell it is the beginning of August when some of the biggest NBA news is that the Phoenix Suns bought the web domain Beat.LA to tout their rivalry with the Lakers. Yes, this is obviously the biggest NBA-related domain name story since Chris Bosh won all those domains in a cybersquatting lawsuit — never forget that Chris Bosh has always been the NBA’s reigning king of weird for a while now — but it is still a story about a website honoring a rivalry between two teams who won a combined 70 games last year.
But whatever. Let’s embrace the summerness of this story by coming up with our own fancy domains that NBA teams can secure right now. Here’s a start:
- Bob.cat — The Bobcats should buy this and have it link to their official website. It’s for websites related to Catalan culture though, so maybe they should trade for a Gasol first.
- HanginWithMr.coop — A collection of clips from 90s sitcoms where actors played for the Warriors.
- Semi.pro — Basically any team could own this and cheekily direct it to their rival’s website, thereby insinuating that either they aren’t good enough for the NBA or that they really like that only-OK Will Ferrell movie.
- Knicks.museum — Feels like the Nets could scoop this up then brag about how all their old guys are still better than the Knicks’ old guys.
- BustedLegGr.eg — Every team who lost out on the Greg Oden sweepstakes could chip to buy this then talk about his busted legs.
- Beat.mil — Obviously an anti-Bucks site, but I’m not sure anyone has strong enough feelings about beating them so this might go unused.
- Bye.ai — An Andre Iguodala smear site run by the Denver Nuggets that is just a continuous loop of all of his missed free throws.
- HiIg.gy — An Andre Iguodala fan site run by the Golden State Warriors that is just a continuous loop of all of his great defensive plays.
- [ANYRIVALTEAM]IsB.ad — Simple.
- Varej.ao — Your home for all of the best Anderson Varejao highlights, like that time he got injured, that other time he got injured or when Dwyane Wade crammed on his curls.
- Foul.bg — Just a landing place for YouTube clips of Blake Griffin getting hacked and then missing some free throws. Probably run by the Grizzlies or Jason Smith.
- Foul.dj — Literally the exact same thing as Foul.bg, only for DeAndre Jordan.
- Love.bm — A Brad Miller fan site that I just started. Not a fetish site.
- RefsAre.bs — Mark Cuban’s newest venture.
- ICanFinally.cu — This is the easiest place to find every story about Rudy Gay finally getting his vision fixed seven seasons in to his NBA career. Definitely run by the Grizzlies.
- Raptors.eh — For all those people who can’t believe the “National” Basketball Association would have an international team.
- ComeOnGre.gg — Craig Sager finally got fed up with Gregg Popovich’s snide comments, bought a website and then used it to edit YouTube videos so that he could always have a snappy comeback.
- NiceHair.jo — Not everyone likes Joakim Noah’s hair.
You get the point. Let’s hear yours in the comments.