In this corner, weighing in at probably 15 lbs. and standing nearly two feet tall … a monkey Dan Gadzuric found while on vacation last summer.
— Timberwolves PR (@Twolves_PR) August 22, 2013
And in this corner, weighing in at around 50 lbs. I’m guessing and standing about knee-height if you’re next to it, Corey Brewer’s pet goat that he’s had since he was a kid.
It’s a classic cute-off, wherein you pick which combination of bro and animal is the cutest. And while it’s hard to argue against a monkey’s sustained and well-established cute factor, I’m going goat here, which won’t surprise anyone who’s followed my internet basketball career since the jump. And yeah, I did have a stuffed Djali from the Disney version of “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” that I used when putting my name in for a table at a restaurant when I was like 12 years old, but I don’t think that makes my opinion any less valid. Goats 4 lyfe.
Leave your opinion in the comments. Just make sure you pick the goat.
(via Seth Rosenthal/BDL)
Finally, the create-a-player that’s 65 million years in the making is here.
ALTERNATE JOKE: Like a SCREEEEEEEE.
You know, just two giant men with a eensy weensy bluegill, which is pretty much everyone’s first catch. And as if this wasn’t silly enough, the photo comes from Karl Malone’s wife, which means these two NBA players went fishing, caught a tiny fish and then Hall of Famer Karl Malone was like, “Come here, honey. Enes caught his first fish. Can you get a picture?” Basically the most normal thing on Earth, only it involves two giants and a therefore hilariously small fish. Good stuff.
Also, Karl Malone has been retired for nine years and STILL has bigger arms than Enes Kanter. He must work out.
Well, looks like we have yet another Grizzly to throw in to the ever-expanding Internet’s Favorite Memphis Grizzly pool, now that Sports Illustrated has snapped a picture of Quincy Pondexter’s puppy, Buckets, just chilling at practice while Quincy works on those corner threes he’s always shooting. The only thing that could make this team more lovable is if Tayshaun Prince adopted this kid. Don’t rule it out.
(Vine note: Click the speaker button in the top left to hear sound. The video should loop automatically.)
If you think it’s weird that Andre Drummond loves penguins so much that a real-life penguin would give him a baby penguin, just wait until you see what happens when the baby penguin grows up to be seven feet tall. That one’s after the jump, so go nuts.
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Time for a quick pop quiz. I am going to give you a transcription of a Metta World Peace quote with certain details pulled out and you have to let me know what on Earth he’s talking about.
Here is the edited quote, based on a transcription by the Point Forward:
“Well, you know, I’m just too sexy for my cat. I’m too sexy for my cat. My cat. I’m just too sexy for my cat. If I wasn’t as sexy for my cat, [REDACTED]. I’m so sexy, [REDACTED].
Too sexy for my cat, too sexy to wear a sleeve or a bracelet, [REDACTED]. I felt sexy, I felt like my team was working, I felt like we wanted it. We just wanted to come together collectively.
Play hard, do it together. … I’m definitely too sexy for my cat, definitely, we know that. I’m also [REDACTED]. I’m too sexy for the cat.”
Hit the jump for the full quote.
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“I just go like a hermit crab. I go place to place if I have to. So whatever it takes to put food in my kids’ bellies and a roof over their head. It doesn’t matter to me.” — Nate Robinson, on if he’ll be with the Bulls next year