Archive for the ‘Animals’ Category

A list of NBA dogs

dog-wearing-nuggets-headband

Inspired by today’s show, here is a list of NBA dogs.

  • Chris Kanine
  • Jack Russell Westbrook
  • Trevor Retriza
  • Jason Terrier
  • Dalmashawn Marion
  • Kirk Weimerhinrich
  • St. Bernard James
  • Jan Viszlay
  • Kyle Corgi
  • Salukeith Bogans
  • Dog Shammdog
  • Shiba Enes Kanter
  • Carmalamute Anthony
  • Dachshund Rivers
  • Cocker Daniel “Boobie” Gibson
  • Brandon Basset
  • Darren Collieson
  • Bichon Livingston
  • Chow Gasol
  • Dobermanu Ginobili
  • Jodie Great Pyreneeks
  • Ian Beagle
  • Cujoakim Noah
  • Lassie Belfair
  • Rip Hamilton-tin-tin
  • Nando de Shiloh

Please, please, please add your own in the comments. It will make you feel great.

Maybe you are tired of the “Harlem Shake” meme, which, you know, fair enough. But even if that’s the case, I guarantee these two quotes about the video will be worth your while. First is Shane Battier, courtesy of the Palm Beach Post:

“Whenever I’m tapped for something like that, I go to the horsehead,” Battier said. “It’s undefeated. If you need some weird things, I’m your guy.  So I was the ‘horsetronaut.’”

And we’ll follow that beauty with one from Dwyane Wade, also from the Palm Beach Post:

He brought a giant bear head, which appeared straight out of a Kanye West video.

“That was for me a little dedication to Chicago, but also my love for teddy bears,” Wade said.

It’s literally impossible to decide which of these is funnier — that Shane Battier always goes to the horsehead, which probably means he’s worn a lot of horseheads, or that Dwyane Wade chose a bear head because he’s from Chicago but also more because he really loves teddy bears — so I vote we give them co-ownership of the Best NBA Quote About the Harlem Shake award. It’s so prestigious that splitting it isn’t really all that bad.

(via James Herbert)

Kobe Bryant: Human Snake

There’s not much to say about this, so I feel like you should hear it straight from the source. Here’s Jordan Crawford explaining the sounds Kobe Bryant makes when he plays, courtesy of the D.C. Sports Bog:

On Kobe Bryant’s noises: “When I first played with Kobe — they call him the Black Mamba — but then he was doing like a little snake sound when he wanted the ball. It was crazy. It was crazy. It’s like tsssss, tsssss. ”Like Fish, Fish, Fisher, tsssss, tssss.” He do that. Everybody tells you he’s gonna do it before you play him — like, ‘Wait till you hear him do this.’ And then he [does] it, and it’s like, what? He’s really a mamba. It sounds like some kind of snake.”

Up until about five minutes ago, I hated Kobe Bryant’s self-prescribed nickname. Now though, I think it’s kind of brilliant. He literally acts like a snake when he’s playing, if only because he gave himself a snake nickname. I always knew Kobe would be a Slytherin, but I’d have never guessed he can speak Parseltongue. Truly amazing.

(via Marcel Mutoni)

Well, that is what is says on his neck.

When we found out that Doug Collins actually called Nick Young by his nickname (ironic), Swaggy P, all bets were off with regards to coaches succumbing to popular opinion and calling their players by their pseudonyms. So it should come as no surprise that Erik Spoelstra, who is way younger and hipper than Collins, would call his newest player, Chris Andersen, by his famous “Birdman” moniker. But it’s still pretty funny to read about.

From the Miami Herald:

Spoelstra tries to remain formal with his players. That rule has been really hard with Andersen.

When Spoelstra first met Andersen, he asked the Heat’s coach to call him “Bird.”

Spoelstra declined at first.

“I told him when I first met with him I said, ‘I’m going to have a hard time calling you that,’” Spoelstra said.

But it didn’t take Spoelstra long to embrace the name. In a strange way, it just feels weird calling “Birdman” something normal like, you know, his given name.

“For some reason, he’s different,” Spoelstra said. “I would never call anyone by their nickname, and I certainly wouldn’t accept anybody calling themselves in the third person, but he is different.”

Anderson often refers to himself in the third person as “the Birdman” or “a birdman.”

Between the giant wing tattoos on the underside of his arms and the fact that he calls himself “a birdman,” you kind of have to wonder if Chris Andersen is starting to think he really is part bird. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me. Plus, there’s more evidence to suggest this hypothesis is correct.

From Ethan J. Skolnick of the Palm Beach Post:

How much of the BirdMan repertoire is he showing? “Six feathers.” How many does he have. “Eleven.”

OK, so Chris Andersen refers to himself in the third person as being a birdman, his coach calls him “Bird” because “he’s different,” and he knows exactly how many feathers are in his repertoire — I am convinced that Chris Andersen has taken “Birdman” from nickname to lifestyle choice and is at least somewhat convinced that his body is partially made from avian DNA. It sounds crazy but this is Chris Andersen we’re talking about here. Would you put such a thing past him? I didn’t think so.

In related news, I thought about Rory Sparrow yesterday. This concludes your NBA bird content for the day.

Going to go out on a limb here and guess that this dog can’t catch Frisbee, balls or anything else you throw at it. Call it a hunch.

TBJ has a pretty firm no horses policy, but we can allow this since DeAndre Jordan is technically a human horse. Any more horseplay, however, and he goes on the naughty list.

“That’s just like a mosquito in your face. Eventually you’re going to swat at the mosquito, right? You let the mosquito in your face your going to get bumps all over your face, so you got to knock the mosquito down.”Reggie Evans, who is great at comparing various Celtics to animals and insects