“Yo, what’s it like having just one big eyebrow?”
“People always ask me that. What’s it like having two gigantic eyebrows?”
“I dunno, but people always ask me about it too. So pretty much the same, I guess.”
For the backstory of how these two eyebros met, watch Anthony Davis drop 40 against no defense in a Kentucky alumni game.
These photos popped up on the internet recently, claiming to show this year’s No. 1 overall draft pick, Anthony Davis, at a 6-foot-2 middle schooler. And while the tiny, terrible-at-sports charter school he attended is indeed grades 6-12, it’s also just as possible that this is from just before Davis hit a famous growth spurt before his senior year of high school.
And that is the crazy thing. Just looking at this dorky, skinny dude, it’s feasible that these photos could have been snapped any time from seventh grade to junior year. I mean, Davis’ unibrow hadn’t even grown in yet, so we can’t use it for carbon dating. We basically just have to guess how old he is. 12? 16? Your guess is as good as mine.
Nonetheless, very cool Stefan Urquelle/Steve Urkel side-by-side tribute going on right here. Nice to see a Chicago guy paying respect to a Chicago legend.
I guess it is a thing now for rookies to draw their own cards when they come in to the league. It happened in the NFL to mixed results (mixed between bad and terrible) and it happened in the NBA, which is great for us. As you can imagine, things went just as well as you’d expect.
Thanks to Panini, we get a chance to look at all of these guys’ artwork. As I’m sure you would have guessed if I told you Anthony Davis participated in this drawing festival, the world’s most famous unibrow was featured. A lot. Here are two of Davis’ cards.
I know he’s trademarked these two sayings and that he’s known for his unibrow and that the top picture kind of looks like the cover of “The Great Gatsby,” but don’t you think Anthony Davis is in danger of just becoming his unibrow? He’s embraced the look so completely that that’s become his defining characteristic, rather than the fact he’s potentially a franchise-changing center. Very, very weird. You don’t see James Harden reminding everyone he has the best beard in the league every chance he gets. I’m just worried for him, that’s all. (Also, Anthony Davis has no idea how to draw a basketball.)
But if he wants to really brow things up as he comes in to the league, I suppose we should help him. Here are a bunch more unibrow-themed cards he could consider during his rookie campaign.
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I don’t know what’s more messed up about this picture — that it immediately makes me think of the hands twins episode of “Friends” or that Kobe Bryant actually posted it on his own Facebook page with the caption “Battle of the unibrow!!! Who wins???” This is like your dad getting Facebook and making NBA memes on it, only if your dad had five NBA titles and two gold medals.
It’s just so weird to imagine Kobe being at the Olympics, seeing another random dude with a unibrow and being like, “Hey, I need you for a picture really quick.” Shouldn’t he be busy shooting jumpers in a gym or psychologically destroying his opponents with offhand comments? Internet Joking Kobe is a whole new thing to adjust to, and right now, it feels weird.
But to answer his question, I’m going with Other Guy. That is one lush facerpillar and that barely gives him a win over Anthony Davis’ super sleek brow of prey. Hope he trademarked it.