Remember when Brian Scalabrine got fed up with random people saying they could beat him at one-one-one, then challenged anyone to step to him? Remember how he said, “I’m the last guy on the bench and I will kick your butt if you’re out on the streets. It’s just the way it is.”?
Well, all that happened, right on down to the butt-kicking. From CBS Boston who actually have 30 minutes of Scal’s one-on-one footage, if you’re interested in that:
Scalabrine, who retired over the summer after a very serviceable 11-year NBA career, took on four of Boston’s best ballers in 98.5 The Sports Hub’s 1-on-1 “Scallenge,” put on by morning hosts Toucher & Rich.
Listeners sent in their try-out videos, showing off their skills and talking some trash towards Scal, but it turns out even Boston’s best was no match for Scalabrine.
He said before the “Scallenge” it would be no challenge, and Scalabrine did not disappoint on that proclamation.
Scalabrine — who spent the last few seasons of his career seen as the “human victory cigar” — easily defeated all four of his opponents, throwing down monstrous jams and sinking smooth jumpers as he beat them all by a combined score of 44-6.
Of those six points, one was a two-pointer, so Scal really gave up just five baskets while playing four one-on-one games, one of which was against a Syracuse University alum who was a benchwarmer for the Orange last season. Not a bad performance for a 34-year-old who can’t get an NBA job and rarely got off the bench when he had one.
More than anything, however, I am glad that this Scallenge should permanently shut down the idea that some normal human can beat the NBA’s worst player. Because if you were to ask somebody who the worst player they’ve ever seen was, you’re going to get a lot of Scalabrines in response. And if no one can get within eight points against him in a game to 11, what does that say about anyone else’s chances? They’re probably as low as someone beating him in a rap battle, which is the very definition of slim to none.