Archive for the ‘Brooklyn Nets’ Category

kevin-metta-new-york-adventure

In the summer of 2013, Kevin Garnett and Metta World Peace both made their way to New York basketball teams. What happened next is a story fit for the funny pages. Now thanks to illustrator Brad Beatson, we get a look at Kevin & Metta’s New York Adventures. Previously, 30 seconds in the mind of Metta.

J.R. Smith: Way to arrive at the 11th Hora, guys.
Kevin: … I thought we were heading to a club?
Metta: This is way, way better. Totes exclusive.
J.R.: Come on, we’re missing the best part.

_______________

DJ Slick Reuven: Alright y’all, let’s move to the dance floor and make a circle. It’s Hora time!
Metta: Is this the chair dance part!? Ahhhh!!!

Metta World Peace sprints ahead.

J.R.: Hahaha, looks like he’s trying to recruit some new Knicks fans.
KG: What? I won’t allow it.

Hora-Time1

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kevin-metta-new-york-adventure

In the summer of 2013, Kevin Garnett and Metta World Peace both made their way to New York basketball teams. What happened next is a story fit for the funny pages. Now thanks to illustrator Brad Beatson, we get a look at Kevin & Metta’s New York Adventures. Previously, the bros go to Andray Blatche’s birthday party.

Philly-Jack

Zen Master: Metta, come in here.
Metta: What’s up, coach?
Zen Master: Are you trying to be funny? I’m not going to tell you this again, you have to replace the teepee.
Metta: Well jeez, you went through all that trouble of making a sign and didn’t say anythi–
Zen Master: Metta. The teepee. Now.
Metta: SHEESH alright, I’m on it.

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derrick-and-dwayne

Justin Tinsley is a sportswriter who’s written for The Sports Fan Journal and The Smoking Section.

There’s pride in accomplishment, but pain in missed opportunities. The artists formerly known as the New Jersey Nets have both.

Head to any location where legit hoops conversations normally take place. The barbershop, where every barber and/or customer is the next coming of Hubie Brown. Or the bar, where the old-school WWF-equivalent to “hell in the cell”-type debates happen. Wherever the location, ask people to name their greatest “What If?” NBA team of the ‘90s. Chances are the most common answers revolve around the Shaq/Penny-led Orlando Magic and the Gary Payton/Shawn Kemp-era Seattle SuperSonics. Both choices come with their heavy share of logic, yet there’s one team largely dubbed an outcast. Who remembers the complicated story of the 1993-94 New Jersey Nets?

On the surface, the squad is immortalized largely for the tragic death of Drazen Petrovic following a car accident on June 7, 1993. And in a sense, it is the most important factor in realizing why the team derailed. Digging below the surface, however, finds a unit marred by lack of trust, mismanagement of talent and several additional storylines that have since been tossed to the wayside in the two decades since.

Let’s break down the known facts surrounding the 1992-93 squad:

  • These Nets went 43-39, good for third in the Atlantic Division.
  • They lost their first round matchup against Cleveland 3-2, in a series many figured would be a sweep by the Cavs prior to Game 1.
  • Of the team’s three best players -– Petrovic, Derrick Coleman and Kenny Anderson  — the oldest was 28.
  • Chuck Daly was the head coach.
  • Both Drazen and Coleman made the All-NBA third team.

The team was beginning to find its own identity apart from being type-casted as the Knicks’ sideshow act in Jersey. They experienced the bumps and bruises teams need when acquiring that playoff grit all championship-caliber teams would need in future seasons. Everything appeared to be on the up and up. Then, the season ended.

For as bright as the immediate future held for the Nets, it was equally as murky, if not more. Then second-year guard out of Michigan Rumeal Robinson revealed in May 1993, “I’m outta here. I can’t take this anymore. I’m leaving. There are other teams that will treat me right.” He didn’t want to return to being Kenny Anderson’s back up once he recovered from a wrist injury that shortened his ’92-’93 campaign.

Another hurdle in the road presented itself in the form of Derrick Coleman’s contract negotiations. The New York Times dubbed Coleman as the most important player to his team not named Michael Jordan during the second half of the ’92-’93 season, where he averaged 20.7 points, 11.2 rebounds and 3.6 assists. Larry Nance dubbed him the game’s best power forward, high praise coming from a guy who was an All-Star power forward ahead of D.C. during that very season. Chuck Daly saw him as a top five-or-six player in the league. Coleman wanted compensation, and while no one knew it at the time, his demands ultimately prove to be a first class ticket out of Jersey.

And yet, here’s the nugget that’s so often forgotten — Drazen Petrovic was very serious about not returning to the Nets for the ’93-’94 season. It’s the reason why Coleman was reluctant to sign a long-term extension that summer. He wanted to see what general manager Willis Reed and the Nets would do with Petro and fellow free agent Chris Dudley.

“Nothing has changed,” said Petrovic weeks before his death on a phone conversation from his mother’s house in Zagreb, Croatia. “I still want to see all the options I have, but I’m not coming back to the Nets. This is the place where I would be most happy. This is my home.”

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kevin-metta-new-york-adventure

In the summer of 2013, Kevin Garnett and Metta World Peace both made their way to New York basketball teams. What happened next is a story fit for the funny pages. Now thanks to illustrator Brad Beatson, we get a look at Kevin & Metta’s New York Adventures. Previously, a day at the Barclays Center.

Metta: Kevin, we’re gonna be late. Let’s go man!
Kevin: Just one second.
Metta: What’s takin’ you so long man, it’s not like you have any ha– wait. What’s this?

Bathroom-Note

Metta: Haha, Kevin, is this serious? You’re crazy man, let’s go.
Kevin: Everything I do is serious.

KG and Metta hurry down to the lobby to meet up with J.R. Smith.

J.R. Smith: Let’s go fellas, we’re gonna be late.

JR-Armored-Truck

Kevin: What in the hell?
Metta: Dibs on the third row!
J.R.: Sorry man, that belongs to Iman now.

Shumpert-Controlled

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lapdance-tuesday-part-2

One of the funniest things in NBA blog history was when the world found out that Andray Blatche was headlining something called “Lapdance Tuesdays” at Cameo in Miami. That was more than two years ago, and even though Blatche tried to brush the lapdance dirt off his shoulders by saying, “It’s not a strip club at all [...] You could go in there on any Tuesday and you would not see no strippers,” it was still hilarious.

Which is why the fact that he hosted another one last night is double hilarious. As you can see from the flier and the Cameo website, Blatche was at it again, appearing at another “Lapdance Tuesdays,” which featured absolutely zero strippers, so stop asking, OK? Sometimes you just want to not see no strippers, if you catch my drift.

Nonetheless, after “Lapdance Tuesdays” was part of a whole mess that ended up running Blatche out of Washington, which led to him having a nice season with the Nets that allowed him to stick it to the Wizards, it’s good to see that Dray Day has gone back to his roots. Sometimes you just have to remember what got you to where you are. And for Andray Blatche, who is now a semi-successful NBA player and not just the go-to NBA fat joke, that means “Lapdance Tuesdays.” Sure, it also means getting back on the late night burritos train, but that’s a risk he has to be willing to take.

kevin-metta-new-york-adventure

In the summer of 2013, Kevin Garnett and Metta World Peace both made their way to New York basketball teams. What happened next is a story fit for the funny pages. Now thanks to illustrator Brad Beatson, we get a look at Kevin & Metta’s New York Adventures. Previously, a day at Madison Square Garden.

KG: The f*** is this little Casper doin’ on my screen?
Paul Pierce: Lemme see? Haha, yo that’s Snapchat. You never seen this before?
KG: Metta. F***ing Metta. Always on my damn phone. “KG, KG, I just gotta get some tickets!!” What the f*** are you talkin about with your damn Candyland saga Metta? God dammit.
PP: Hahaha, that game is crazy yo. Don’t even start. It’s wild addicting.
Coach Kidd: Alright y’all, let’s get a layup line going.
PP: Man, shut up
KG: Layups, Jason? Really. Layups?
PP: How we supposed to respect this dude? We been playin’ against his ass our whole career and he’s talking layups?
Kidd: Now, Paul–
PP: B****, what?! Nah, Nah

Paul Pierce lunges at Jason Kidd and throws him in a headlock.

PP: Ay KG take a picture real quick!

Choke-Out

PP: Haha! Class is dismissed, that’ll be all for today folks.
Kidd: You guys, no!  You can’t leave. Guys. Come back!

Everyone leaves except for Brook Lopez.

Consoling

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kevin-metta-msg-1

In the summer of 2013, Kevin Garnett and Metta World Peace both made their way to New York basketball teams. What happened next is a story fit for the funny pages. Now thanks to illustrator Brad Beatson, we get a look at Kevin & Metta’s New York Adventures. Previously, A visit to the Empire State Building.

Coach Woodson: Alright y’all, we’re gonna let Metta run the defensive drills for a bit.
Metta: Thanks Coach, y’all ready?!?
Coach Woodson: So nice of you to join us, Melo and J.R.
Metta: Lateness will NOT BE TOLERATED!

kevin-metta-jr-face

Carmelo Anthony: F*** this. I’m out.

(Carmelo Anthony leaves practice.)

Metta: Game on.
Andrea Bargnani: Coach! Really, you’re gonna allow this?!

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