Archive for the ‘Charles Barkley’ Category

That right there is Charles Barkley getting his dance on with some old lady…

…and that right there is Ray Allen and Shane Battier doing B.I.G.’s “Hypnotize.”

Both of these videos are from Ray Allen’s 38th birthday party and now I really wish I had a time machine so that I could go back in time to attend this party. Then, since time machine rentals are for a week minimum and I want to get the most bang for my buck, I’d go back to Chris Bosh’s Arabian Nights birthday party — where I would definitely warn him to protect his jewels, because what is time travel without crime fighting? — and take a ride on his camel, Henri. And then I’d take the TM (what I’m calling it at this point, could use a new nickname) back to that wild LeBron party with all the naked chicks and Big Baby Davis, so I could find out what exactly happened. After that, since I’m out of notable Miami Heat parties, I’d probably go see Rony Seikaly DJ for the first time, just to see if people recognized him. I’m not a Heat fan, but this seems like a very good use of my time machine rental.

And hey, if I have any time left over, maybe I’ll go see some boring historical events like the signing of the Magna Carta or when Justin Bieber was born. Might be a fun week.

(via Reddit/NBA Offseason)

This is one of those dream pairings that you dream about — the two most well-known sports media superstars of our generation meeting up with our generation’s two most accomplished movie stars and just LIFTING WEIGHTS and GETTING SWOLL. This is like “The Avengers” got the “Fast and Furious” franchise pregnant while “Shooter” was fooling around with “Monday Night Raw,” then those two super babies had their own baby and raised it as an NBA fan.

I literally didn’t leave the house this morning to see the end of this. Trust me, it was worth it.

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This is supposedly the result of a shirt swap with some bro, which is just another reason everyone loves Charles Barkley, because he is the best and will let his picture be taken after trading shirts with some random person. And if you’re searching for a quality zing, any Chris Farley in “Tommy Boy” joke you want to use is pretty fitting. Unlike that shirt.

Enjoy some NBA basketball tonight. See you tomorrow.

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You might have heard that Michael Jordan turned 50 over the weekend. Chances are pretty good that you did, considering that just about everyone over the age of 25 that’s semi-qualified to talk about basketball has turned the last week or so into an all-out blitz of Michael remembrance in honor of the milestone. Sports Illustrated, Bleacher Report and Ball Don’t Lie all did separate countdowns of his Top 50 moments, ESPN the Magazine published the first truly interesting feature story on Jordan in lord knows how long, and just about everyone involved with All-Star Weekend had to offer up some sort of commentary on MJ’s greatness before they were allowed out of Houston. This makes sense, since when you’re the greatest person to ever do something, people will use just about any excuse to talk about how great you were. Turning 50 is about as good a reason as any.

The undercard of the MJ at 50 main event, however, has been another player from the 1984 draft class also hitting the half-century mark — Jordan’s good friend Charles Barkley, who turns the big 5-0 today. Despite playing for about as long as Jordan and enjoying a Hall of Fame career of his own, you won’t find too many countdowns of Sir Charles’ top 50 career moments, and if you did, they’d probably be filled with ambivalence-inspiring moments like his “I Am Not a Role Model” commercials and the time he threw a basketball at Shaq’s head. However, Barkley did get at least one tribute in honor of his 50th, the “Sir Charles at 50″ special that aired after All-Star Saturday on TNT, and again Monday night on NBA TV, just a couple hours after MJ’s own tribute, a “One on One With Ahmad Rashad” interview, aired on the same channel.

I watched both of these specials, and the contrast between the two was a stark one, both in how they treated the players’ respective careers, and in how they looked at their lives and legacies in the years since their retirements. By just about every conceivable estimation, Jordan had the better career of the two. He won more championships, scored more points, made more All-Star Games, sold more jerseys, influenced more facets of the game (and players who followed), and provided more unforgettable moments — enough so that making a Top 50 list of them doesn’t seem all that ridiculous, or even all that challenging. But a decade after both have retired, if you’re asking who seems happier, whose legacy feels more secure, who seems better-liked by fans and peers, whose life just seems … better, for lack of a better word, the answer is clearly Barkley.

As fun as it was to relive the great moments of MJ’s career in “One on One” — and most NBA fans, even those like myself who weren’t really around for them, can recite a timeline of them from memory, going from his game-winner in the NCAA Championship up to The Shot and the first and second Threepeats — it was, to quote Ferris Bueller, a lot like you were touring a museum, very cold and untouchable. No real insight was gleaned or emotional breakthroughs made, and Jordan seemed like Jordan always does: self-assured, but anxious and guarded, friendly, but not quite comfortable or trusting. He was not asked any particularly tough questions, and he did not give any particularly controversial answers.

In fact, the interview was a decidedly soft-pedaling one. Here’s a brief list of proper names not mentioned once over the course of the special: Jerry Krause, Bill Cartwright, Toni Kukoc, the Washington Wizards, Kwame Brown and Adam Morrison. MJ’s failure-marked Bobcats years are only alluded to in the context of whether or not he plans on attempting a third comeback as a player (he says he doesn’t), and his notorious, often borderline-sociopathic competitive streak is written off as MJ Being MJ, just another side effect of his drive to greatness (down to clips of Jordan’s infamously bitter Hall of Fame speech being treated as a lark, Michael “telling it like it is,” with a playful, Thomas Newman-like score being played underneath footage of him calling out his longtime rivals). It was a Greatest Hits package dressed up as an honest retrospective, and you get the feeling Jordan wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Sir Charles at 50″ was not nearly so reverential. In fact, in the first five minutes of the special, Barkley gets called fat by someone from his hometown, his mom talks about spanking him, and Ernie Johnson asks him some tough questions about his dad being absent most of his youth. The overly familiar, borderline-mocking tone is present for much of the special, even in the celebrity tributes. While MJ’s special features the next generation of stars (CP3, KD, LeBron) paying tribute to his basketball greatness (though most hadn’t even been born yet when he was drafted in ’84), Barkley’s features his celebrity peers, as well as NBA players past and present, wishing him a happy birthday mostly by making jokes at his expense. Though less glowing, it feels much more honest.

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Word on the street is that Charles Barkley used to be 10-handicap. Now though, he swings a club like Chuck Hayes shoots free throws. All in all, I’d say it’s a fair tradeoff — he gets to keep playing golf and we get to keep laughing at how bad he is.

OK, so maybe it’s not “fair,” but I’m fine with that. I’m guessing you are too.

(via CJ Fogler)

This is my favorite scene from “Varsity Blues.” Billy Bob looks good.

(via HHR)

I’m not sure if this is real life or if we’re watching a projection of one of Tas’ dreams from last night. Either way, glad to see the Boyz finally found a replacement for Michael McCary. After all, Boyz II Men aren’t really Boyz II Men without spoken word interludes.

(via HoopsHype)