Archive for the ‘Chris Paul’ Category

Imagine the greatest day of your life. It can be real, if you want, or it can be totally made-up. Doesn’t matter to me, just as long as it’s the best day ever.

Maybe you’re on the beach, lounging with some babes and getting your sun on in the middle of summer. Maybe you’re catching a game-winning touchdown that really should have been an interception during a Monday Night Football game. Maybe you’re getting married to the man of your dreams. Maybe you’re sprouting wings and legitimately learning how to fly, becoming the first human to achieve that hallowed feat. The possibilities are endless.

However, during all your imaginations, I guarantee that your best day ever isn’t anything like Chris Paul’s best day ever because there’s no way you like shooting layups as much as Chris Paul does. From ESPN:

Los Angeles Clippers point guard Chris Paul went through basketball drills without a protective brace around his right thumb for the first time Monday, and said he anticipates playing in at least one preseason game and being ready for the Clippers’ season opener Oct. 30 versus the Memphis Grizzlies.

“Today was the first day they actually allowed me to shoot layups so today was the best day ever,” Paul told

Chris Paul is an easy man to please, I guess. It doesn’t take much to make him happy, just a huge hat and a chance to shoot a few layups. Maybe throw in a puffy coat too, but that’s not a requirement.

All he really needs, and I think this is actually completely honest, is to be able to play basketball. A guy like Chris Paul is wired in a way that taking basketball away from him, even if it’s just for a month, is the same as cutting his legs off and forcing him to watch an endless Adam Sandler marathon made up of only movies he’s made in the past five years. Getting that wrist brace off and being allowed to get some shots up is like getting a pair of metal legs and turning off the DVD player, except on his arms and something that is a better analogy than this.

But you get the point. Even if it seems silly or an exaggeration that Chris Paul would care about shooting layups that much, it kind of isn’t. Basketball is his favorite sport and he loves the way they dribble up and down the court. Not being able to do that sucks for him, so the simple act of being able to shoot really could be his best day ever. Sure, maybe something minor like his wedding or the day his son was born is actually his best day ever, but I imagine he still enjoyed this quite a bit.

Good news and bad news, Clippers fans. The good news is Chris Paul is on the cover of next month’s GQ magazine. The bad news is Chris Paul is on the cover of GQ magazine.

It’s good because it means the Clippers are still a national story and you weren’t just dreaming that somehow the best point guard on Earth ended up on your favorite team. It’s bad news because the last time an amazing point guard ended up on the cover of GQ, he blew out his ACL that same month. But it’s not like the Clippers have ever had problems with knees throughout their franchise history, so I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Whether you want to read it as good or bad is up to you, but it still happened. And along with that cover picture and a photo shoot where he’s wearing a ton of layers — and, as you might expect, one of his giant hats in one of the snaps — there’s also a story on Chris Paul and how he’s still a down home kind of guy who has comedy routines with his wife. From GQ:

Chris and Jada have been together since his freshman year at Wake Forest, and throughout the night, Jada will punctuate Paul’s cutting one-liners with her textbook eye roll, equal parts coy and dismissive. They’re a practiced comedy duo: CP3 to Jada, Jada back to CP3 for the bucket.

Like when he says that his infant daughter will not be allowed to date until she’s 40 years old. (Jada eye roll.)

Or when Chris tells me how lonely he was during his sophomore year at Wake Forest due to an absentee roommate. “Oh, please, you were¬†not¬†lonely,” she says, prompting Chris to explain that she’s just mad because they were broken up that year. (Jada eye roll.)

Or when Chris overhears Jada telling me that she quit her track team in high school because she didn’t like the coach….

“Is she blaming the coach?” CP3 interrupts. (Jada eye roll.)

“I’ll tell you what,” he goes on. “My wife’s a quitter.”

Sooooooooooo cute. Can’t wait for their inevitable reality show.

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Neighbor 1: Did you hear we won gold in basketball?

Neighbor 2: Oh really? That’s cool. Doesn’t that guy down the street play basketball?

Neighbor 1: Yeah! You’re right. We should do something for him.

Neighbor 2: Totally.

Neighbor 1: But what? What are we going to be able to do for a millionaire athlete?

Neighbor 2: I dunno. Maybe like a sign or something? We’ve got a really nice printer from when I was running the scrapbooking club. Do you remember that?

Neighbor 1: Of course. So much fun. How come we don’t do that any more?

Neighbor 2: It just got be such a hassle always having to go to Hobby Lobby to find those little cutout starbursts and decorations. And we got a new digital camera, so I just put everything on Facebook now anyways.

Neighbor 1: Well, that makes sense.

Neighbor 2: Doesn’t it? Anyways, you’ve got that nice printer and I have some extra long paper that Hank bought in storage somewhere. I guess we could use that.

Neighbor 1: Good idea. What should it say though?

Neighbor 2: Oh … I don’t know. Congratulations?

Neighbor 1: Yeah, I guess. Maybe like “Thank you?’

Neighbor 2: I like that. I like that a lot. Then he knows how much we appreciate him being in the neighborhood and doing something for his country.

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As we all know, this summer’s Olympics are “the Social Media Games.” And as such, athletes from so many countries are tweeting pictures of their teammates (usually sleeping) and all the silly stuff they do when they’re not competing in their events. Team USA’s basketball squad is probably the best at this, constantly Instagramming photos and just generally chilling with their buddies.

Seeing all these pictures has left me with one very important question: Why are Chris Paul’s hats so big?

If you don’t believe me, just look at this important diagram that shows how much headroom he’s got underneath his cap. I superimposed a photo of Chris’ head on top of his real head, lining up the eyes and nose as closely as possible, and the results are staggering.

That is a lot of hat room, you guys. Probably too much, but maybe he likes a nice, airy headspace.

Nonetheless, if you think this was a one-time, jokey-joke hat perch, you are mistaken. Look.

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