Archive for the ‘Cleveland Cavaliers’ Category

I can’t decide if this is funnier than when Jack Ramsay voted Keith Bogans Defensive Player of the Year or not, but the lone ESPN Deportes representative being the only guy to not vote for obvious ROY Kyrie Irving while giving his vote to a guy who speaks Spanish is impossibly good.

Sometimes the jokes just write themselves. And then sometimes they get posted on the internet with bylines and headshots that make them even funnier. Glad that’s the case here.

If you think a bunch of fancy swordsmen destroying your car is bad, imagine being a fan of the Grizzlies.

For the rest of State Farm’s State of Fandom campaign, check out their Facebook page.

If you guys want to make fun of Antawn Jamison, now is the time. Because trust me, he isn’t going to see anything mean you say about him or this pass he threw off a referee’s face.

How do I know this? Well, because he said so. From the AP:

”Trust me, I’m trying to figure out what happened myself,” Jamison said. ”I just know that I’m not going to be watching SportsCenter or reading any newspapers for the next couple days.”

If he’s not reading newspapers, you know he’s not reading TBJ, even though I am sure he’s usually checks the comments here three or four times a day. Not today though. Not after last night’s horrid Cavaliers performance.

So it’s open season on Antawn Jamison. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. I’ll start by mentioning that he looks like Homer Simpson. Feel free to carry on in the comments. Antawn’s avoiding anything about the Cavs for another few days, so we’re in the clear.

(vid via BDL)

You’ve heard the story, now see the video.

Even from the tiny bit you can see, you can tell that’s a really hard punch. And if he struck Moondiggity straight in the mascot eye, then you can totally see why it’d send the human inside to the hospital, since that’s the weakest place on a fake dog’s head. That was quite the blow.

Bad boy, David West. Go to your cage. No park today.

Thanks to the lockout, we’ve had a shortened season. And thanks to a shortened season, we’ve had a lot of injuries. So basically, thanks to the lockout we’ve had a bunch of injuries. It’s not a a direct correlation, but its pretty close. Thanks for breaking Derrick Rose, you jerks.

Though there have been many injuries, none have been as strange as the one that the Cavaliers mascot, Moondog duh, suffered last night. It came from David West punching him in the eye. Seriously. From the Akron Beacon-Journal:

Moondog needed to be taken to a local hospital after suffering an eye injury during a pre-game play fight with Indiana Pacers forward David West at The Q on Wednesday night. The Cavalier canine was later released and a team spokesman said he should be fine.

See kids, this is why you don’t play fight. If Pop-Pop was around, he’d have used J. Walter Weatherman to prove his point, but sending a playful dog mascot — still don’t get that, but that is another blog post for another blog time — to the hospital with an eye injury will have to do.

For his part, David West is very sorry. He didn’t mean to almost blind that dog.

“I feel terrible about that, I really do,” West said. “We were just having fun right before the game. We were just messing around. I really hope he’s OK. Make sure he knows I’m sorry.”

There might not be anything worse for an NBA player to have to answer for than accidentally putting a mascot in the hospital. It doesn’t happen very often, I am guessing, but when it does, there is probably nothing worse than getting asked about hurting another team’s stuffed employee. Ugh. No thanks.

If all of this is unbelievable to you, well, you are not alone (Michael Jackson). Roy Hibbert totally gets what you are saying. From the AP:

”For real?” Hibbert said. ”We thought he (Moondog) was just playing when it happened. Oh man, that’s crazy. I can’t believe it happened. I’ve never heard anything like that in the NBA.”

Solid observation. Outside of Benny the Bull hurting my oral surgeon’s arm, I’ve never heard anything even close to this sort of thing. A player smacking a team’s mascot in the eye and having him go to the hospital? That’s crazy.

We’re all just lucky that they didn’t have to put Moondog down. I can’t even imagine how bad David West would feel if that happened.

Did you realize that Marcin Gortat is basically averaging a double-double this season (16 points and 9.9 rebounds per game)? That he’s the Suns leader in points, rebounds and blocks and that he’s second only to Steve Nash (21.5 to 21.3) in PER? That he’s fifth in the league in field goal percentage? That he’s a top five center this season, even though he didn’t make the All-Star Game?

All of those things are true, but they apparently mean nothing to Tristan Thompson. From the AP:

“[Gortat] ate us alive,” Scott said. “I don’t know if Tristan didn’t know that much about him or if he didn’t realize that the guy is a pretty good player. Gortat has been playing well all season long.”

He’s right. For evidence, re-read the first paragraph. Marcin Gortat is legit, but no one knows about it because he’s playing on a team that was most notable for not trading their best player until this recent stretch after the All-Star Game. Now that they’re on a roll — six wins in their last eight games and 11-4 since the February break — more people will probably realize Marcin Gortat is more than just a gigantic nose and a Jordan tattoo.

For his part, Gortat was pretty low-key about scoring the game’s first 10 points and dominating the three quarters it took for the Suns to blow out the Cavs.

“It was cool,” he said. “It’s always fun when you’re rolling like that. I could have had an easy 30 if I had executed better. My teammates found me, and I was happy I had some post-ups today.”

Ha. “It was cool.” That’s just about the most laid-back thing you can say after a great game. Maybe “That was neat” or “‘Twas a swell performance” would be just as nonchalant, but no one in the NBA would seriously say that unless they were my grandma. Gortat’s reaction is perfect. He liked scoring his points, but it’s no big deal. Could have had more if he wouldn’t have been such a knucklehead. Ho-hum, just 10 straight to start the game.

Or maybe, just maybe, he’s trying to slow play this. If he doesn’t draw any attention to it, maybe he’ll run in to a few more players who don’t know who he is, just like Tristan Thompson. Then he can take advantage of them, own another game and offer some hilariously understated quotes about his great line. Long cons are complicated to pull off, but they’re totally worth it.

The Toronto Raptors are 3-0 against the Cleveland Cavaliers this season, joining the Miami Heat as the only team to have beaten the Cavs three times this season. Not a big deal, except the Heat have more than twice as many wins as the Raptors and more than 20 percent of Toronto’s season win total has come against Cleveland. It’s a mystery no one can figure out and some of the brightest minds on Earth have given it a shot. Stephen Hawking, Alex Trebek, Garry Kasparov — all those guys came up empty-handed.

And so did Antawn Jamison. He’s completely befuddled with regards to the Raptors, as he told reporters following last night’s loss to the dastardly dinosaurs. From the AP:

“Man, I don’t know,” Jamison said. “I’m so frustrated right now. I can’t put my finger on it.”

He’s not the only one who is confused. Even Cavs coach Byron Scott doesn’t understand what’s going on.

“I have no answers,” Cavs coach Byron Scott said. “Certain teams just have your number. I guess they have our number.”

It is quite the tough nut to crack. The Raptors have 36 wins combined in the past season-and-a-half with nearly a sixth of those coming against the Cavaliers. Obviously, the Cavs haven’t been world beaters in that time — they have 35 wins in the same stretch — but it’s weird that things wouldn’t be a bit more even. The two teams both stink, so why are the Raptors 5-1 over the last two seasons?

There’s at least one guy who seems to have figured out this riddle. His name is DeMar DeRozan and he really understands the effect personnel changes can have on a team.

“LeBron ain’t here,” the Raptors guard joked.

Oh, right. Makes sense. Good point, DeMar. Case closed.