In the summer of 2013, Kevin Garnett and Metta World Peace both made their way to New York basketball teams. What happened next is a story fit for the funny pages. Now thanks to illustrator Brad Beatson, we get a look at Kevin & Metta’s New York Adventures. Previously, The Move-In.
Kevin: Everybody out! Now. Metta: Hey buddy, come on. What? Dude. Settle down. Kevin: No, everybody get out this instant. This is insane, Metta. I will not live like this. Metta: But what ab– Kevin: But nothing, everyone out. Out! Clean up this mess. Do not bother me, I’m going back to bed. Unbelievable.
(Kevin’s walkie-talkie crackles to life.)
Walkie-Talkie Metta: Hey KG, sorry man. I’m making it up to you, OK bro? Check under your door, I got something for you. KG, you there buddy? Kevin. Did you check? Kevin? It’s a ticket to go to the top of the Empire State Building. The tour starts in an hour. KG, buddy, you there? I’ll meet you there. I’ve gotta take care of something first.
“My twin brother (Robin) and I, we’re always writing, creating stuff,” Lopez said after practice today. “A lot of it’s action & adventure, but it takes from a lot of different genres.”
He’s also hopeful about getting things published. “We have lots of finished ideas, we need to work on getting them published now. We’ve been in a lot of meetings with a lot of different companies. It takes time, and in this offseason a lot was going on.”
Yeah, of course this is happening. There are only so many hours in a day that a person can play basketball, and when you’re as big of comic book freaks as these guys are, it’s only natural that you’d start writing your own comic books. They couldn’t really help it, could they? No way.
Of course, if we have any chance of seeing what these two dudes came up with, we’re going to have to hope and pray that someone sees the merit in publishing a comic book written by two professional basketball players. (Maybe contact the Denver Nuggets marketing department? Just an idea, relax.) And seriously, this is a comic book penned by the Lopez twins, so I think we can all agree that getting to read it is of the utmost importance.
I can’t even begin to guess at what they would come up with, but I’m sure it involves twins with super powers that are somehow connected to their hair. Honestly, that’s a good enough start. Get on it, DC Comics.
When JaVale McGee and Nick Young were shipped out of Washington at last season’s trade deadline, we lamented the death of the Washington Wizards, who were the NBA’s most bloggable team for the better part of a decade. It was a tour de force performance, as leading men such as Gilbert Arenas, DeShawn Stevenson, Andray Blatche, McGee and Young traded duties as the knucklehead du jour, like a really strange reworking of an ensemble film like “Ocean’s Eleven.” As a blogger, they were a gift from the heavens, as you could expect something weird to happen in D.C. on a weekly basis. Even Caron Butler and his Mountain Dews and straws became a meme for a while. It was a legendary run.
That’s all over now, as all of the main offenders have left the nation’s capitol, spreading their particular brand of basketball lunacy throughout the league. And while having all these bozos on different teams will probably pay off in the long run, it’s still kind of sad that that era of the Wizards has ended as the team is now led by a bunch of serious guys like John Wall, Nene and Emeka Okafor. The Wizards are dead. Long live the Wizards.
But wait. A new hope emerges. From Wizards.com’s Casey Phillips, on Twitter:
Asked [Brad Beal] what he would change his name to if he could (i.e. Ochocinco, Metta World Peace) he said Batman. Best. Answer. Ever.
YES. The spirit of the Wizards is still alive and well. Just when you think they’re done providing us with jokes and laughs the likes of which have never been seen, a rookie comes in and says he’d change his name to Batman (Brad “Batman” Beal is a great nickname, by the way). A rookie! This is great, great news.
There must be something in the Verizon Center’s water that makes this team’s players so good for the internet. If Trevor Ariza starts the season by playing an entire half while wearing the wrong shorts and the word “Arizona” on his back, we’ll know the reports of the Wizards’ demise were greatly exaggerated.
Confused by the headline? Let me break it down for you.
Kick Buttowski is the star of “Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil” and in the realm of that show he is a huge fan of Rock Callahan, an action movie star who is voiced by Dwight Howard doing a really weird, kind of robotic voice. In this episode (airing September 22), however, Rock Callahan plays Kick Buttowski in a movie. Yes, that means in a show about the fictional character Kick Buttowski, another character plays a fictional fictional Kick Buttowski in a movie. It’s kind of like in “Austin Powers in Goldmember,” when Tom Cruise is playing Austin Powers in “Austinpussy,” only it’s animated and stars the best center in the NBA. This is, no joke, Dwight’s greatest achievement of the past year.
After the jump, cartoon Dwight battling cartoon Tony Reali, while still doing that weird voice thing. Still not a joke. Sports.
If you’ve ever wanted to see the Denver Nuggets, a team with two players (JaVale McGee and Kenneth Faried) who both have alter egos they have given themselves, turned in to a comic book, now is your chance. Yesterday, the team posted what I have to assume is only the first five pages what is sure to be an epic graphic novel, “Adventures in Nuggets Nation,” on their Facebook page.
In those five thrilling pages, you get to meet the heroes of Nuggets Nation — Hot Shot (Danilo Gallinari), Tynomite (Ty Lawson), Manimal (Faried), Big Mozzy (Timofey Mozgov), Iguodala (Andre Iguodala, duh) and Stretch McGee (JaVale). And that’s about it. There is nothing else that happens. I’m not deep in to the comic book scene, but I’m pretty sure that’s a boring comic. Also, there’s no mention of Andre Miller yet, which is too bad because I’d like to see how these guys make his baby hair in to a super power.
So stay tuned, I guess? Unless all you are looking for from a comic is to find out if Andre Iguodala gets his haircut (yes) and if JaVale McGee sometimes goes bowling (also yes), in which case, you’re good. Otherwise, check back to the Nuggets’ Facebook to see how this thing turns out. I, for one, am more than invested in finding out what Hot Shot bought from the mall.
Between the comically huge muscles and toothy grin, things seemed to be trending this way, but I’m not sure I ever truly believed that Dwight Howard would actually become a living, breathing cartoon character. That’s what happened though, as Dwight appeared at Comic-Con as the character he’ll be voicing, Rock Callahan, in Disney’s animated series “Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil.” Nothing says danger like grey bell-bottoms.
Between this and Shaq’s retirement, it looks like the NBA’s Superman era is dead. No wonder “Man of Steel” got pushed back to 2013.