“Everybody loves donuts here, and I eat them too. People mostly drink beer and not stronger drinks, exactly like in The Simpsons.” — Alexey Shved, describing America in a nutshell
Archive for the ‘Comics’ Category
Posted by Trey Kerby under Comics, Minnesota Timberwolves, Quickies on Feb 06, 2013
Posted by Trey Kerby under Brook Lopez, Brooklyn Nets, Comics, New Orleans Hornets, Robin Lopez on Oct 11, 2012
If you were going to make a short list of various things that could conceivably happen in the NBA while still being just weird enough to take pause, said list would probably go something like this:
- JaVale McGee does something nonsensical and a little embarrassing
- Chris Bosh does something creepy with his mouth during a basketball game
- Brook and Robin Lopez write a comic book together
Well, let’s cross No. 3 off the list. From Nets Are Scorching:
“My twin brother (Robin) and I, we’re always writing, creating stuff,” Lopez said after practice today. “A lot of it’s action & adventure, but it takes from a lot of different genres.”
He’s also hopeful about getting things published. “We have lots of finished ideas, we need to work on getting them published now. We’ve been in a lot of meetings with a lot of different companies. It takes time, and in this offseason a lot was going on.”
Yeah, of course this is happening. There are only so many hours in a day that a person can play basketball, and when you’re as big of comic book freaks as these guys are, it’s only natural that you’d start writing your own comic books. They couldn’t really help it, could they? No way.
Of course, if we have any chance of seeing what these two dudes came up with, we’re going to have to hope and pray that someone sees the merit in publishing a comic book written by two professional basketball players. (Maybe contact the Denver Nuggets marketing department? Just an idea, relax.) And seriously, this is a comic book penned by the Lopez twins, so I think we can all agree that getting to read it is of the utmost importance.
I can’t even begin to guess at what they would come up with, but I’m sure it involves twins with super powers that are somehow connected to their hair. Honestly, that’s a good enough start. Get on it, DC Comics.
Posted by Trey Kerby under Comics, Washington Wizards on Sep 26, 2012
When JaVale McGee and Nick Young were shipped out of Washington at last season’s trade deadline, we lamented the death of the Washington Wizards, who were the NBA’s most bloggable team for the better part of a decade. It was a tour de force performance, as leading men such as Gilbert Arenas, DeShawn Stevenson, Andray Blatche, McGee and Young traded duties as the knucklehead du jour, like a really strange reworking of an ensemble film like “Ocean’s Eleven.” As a blogger, they were a gift from the heavens, as you could expect something weird to happen in D.C. on a weekly basis. Even Caron Butler and his Mountain Dews and straws became a meme for a while. It was a legendary run.
That’s all over now, as all of the main offenders have left the nation’s capitol, spreading their particular brand of basketball lunacy throughout the league. And while having all these bozos on different teams will probably pay off in the long run, it’s still kind of sad that that era of the Wizards has ended as the team is now led by a bunch of serious guys like John Wall, Nene and Emeka Okafor. The Wizards are dead. Long live the Wizards.
But wait. A new hope emerges. From Wizards.com’s Casey Phillips, on Twitter:
Asked [Brad Beal] what he would change his name to if he could (i.e. Ochocinco, Metta World Peace) he said Batman. Best. Answer. Ever.
YES. The spirit of the Wizards is still alive and well. Just when you think they’re done providing us with jokes and laughs the likes of which have never been seen, a rookie comes in and says he’d change his name to Batman (Brad “Batman” Beal is a great nickname, by the way). A rookie! This is great, great news.
There must be something in the Verizon Center’s water that makes this team’s players so good for the internet. If Trevor Ariza starts the season by playing an entire half while wearing the wrong shorts and the word “Arizona” on his back, we’ll know the reports of the Wizards’ demise were greatly exaggerated.
(via Bullets Forever)
Posted by Trey Kerby under Comics, Dwight Howard, Kick Buttowski, Los Angeles Lakers on Sep 18, 2012
Confused by the headline? Let me break it down for you.
Kick Buttowski is the star of “Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil” and in the realm of that show he is a huge fan of Rock Callahan, an action movie star who is voiced by Dwight Howard doing a really weird, kind of robotic voice. In this episode (airing September 22), however, Rock Callahan plays Kick Buttowski in a movie. Yes, that means in a show about the fictional character Kick Buttowski, another character plays a fictional fictional Kick Buttowski in a movie. It’s kind of like in “Austin Powers in Goldmember,” when Tom Cruise is playing Austin Powers in “Austinpussy,” only it’s animated and stars the best center in the NBA. This is, no joke, Dwight’s greatest achievement of the past year.
After the jump, cartoon Dwight battling cartoon Tony Reali, while still doing that weird voice thing. Still not a joke. Sports.
Posted by Trey Kerby under Comics, Denver Nuggets on Aug 17, 2012
If you’ve ever wanted to see the Denver Nuggets, a team with two players (JaVale McGee and Kenneth Faried) who both have alter egos they have given themselves, turned in to a comic book, now is your chance. Yesterday, the team posted what I have to assume is only the first five pages what is sure to be an epic graphic novel, “Adventures in Nuggets Nation,” on their Facebook page.
In those five thrilling pages, you get to meet the heroes of Nuggets Nation — Hot Shot (Danilo Gallinari), Tynomite (Ty Lawson), Manimal (Faried), Big Mozzy (Timofey Mozgov), Iguodala (Andre Iguodala, duh) and Stretch McGee (JaVale). And that’s about it. There is nothing else that happens. I’m not deep in to the comic book scene, but I’m pretty sure that’s a boring comic. Also, there’s no mention of Andre Miller yet, which is too bad because I’d like to see how these guys make his baby hair in to a super power.
So stay tuned, I guess? Unless all you are looking for from a comic is to find out if Andre Iguodala gets his haircut (yes) and if JaVale McGee sometimes goes bowling (also yes), in which case, you’re good. Otherwise, check back to the Nuggets’ Facebook to see how this thing turns out. I, for one, am more than invested in finding out what Hot Shot bought from the mall.
(via That NBA Lottery Pick)
Posted by Trey Kerby under Comics, Orlando Magic on Jul 26, 2011
Between the comically huge muscles and toothy grin, things seemed to be trending this way, but I’m not sure I ever truly believed that Dwight Howard would actually become a living, breathing cartoon character. That’s what happened though, as Dwight appeared at Comic-Con as the character he’ll be voicing, Rock Callahan, in Disney’s animated series “Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil.” Nothing says danger like grey bell-bottoms.
Between this and Shaq’s retirement, it looks like the NBA’s Superman era is dead. No wonder “Man of Steel” got pushed back to 2013.
Posted by Trey Kerby under Comics, Los Angeles Clippers on Jul 21, 2011
What does it take to make a superhero? Usually it’s some combination of civic pride, derring-do, and an unfortunate accident that leaves you with superpowers or a significant amount of money that you use to purchase weaponry. Or, if you’re Blake Griffin, it’s a turkey, bacon and avocado sandwich from Subway. Eat fresh.
Yes, Blake Griffin is a superhero now, thanks to a new short-run series that sees the sandwich magnate’s celebrity endorsers join up with the Justice League to battle evildoers. A natural fit.
In Blake’s edition, our hero is at Subway when he realizes he’s going to be late for his “dunk show.” Can’t be late for the dunk show, whatever that is. Maybe he should hire an assistant who will tell him not to waste time at a sandwich shop when he is supposed to be putting on a dunk exhibition, but never mind that.
Anyway, Blake’s late for his dunk show when NASCAR driver Carl Edwards offers to speed him to the gym, which seems illegal. On their way, Blake and Carl encounter Superman fighting Gorilla Grodd and offer their assistance. They defeat the telepathic ape, the Green Lantern speeds them to the dunk show, which Blake wins because you can win dunk shows, I guess. Carl and Blake celebrate with their uneaten subs.
You can read the whole thrilling story over at From the Marbles, but I’ve included the climactic scenes after the jump. The moral of the story, as you’ll see, is to eat more avocado. Can’t argue with that.