Archive for the ‘Dallas Mavericks’ Category

Sometimes things happen in an NBA season where some guys get hurt and then spots get randomly filled with hilarious players picked up for 10-game contracts late in the season. At this point, that is kind of Earl Boykins’ career plan. It happens.

But sometimes you sign an old center and he gets hurt during the preseason and then another guy rolls his ankle and suddenly Eddy Curry is your starting center for the first game of the season even though you signed him like 10 minutes ago. That’s when you’re this year’s Dallas Mavericks. From the Dallas Morning News:

Eddy Curry figures to embark to Los Angeles on Monday with his new Mavericks teammates as the team’s starting center. [...]

“He’s doing OK,’’ Carlisle said. “He’s a force in the paint offensively. We’d like to get him more active defensively and rebounding a little bit more. But his attitude has been good, and he’s worked hard to get himself in pretty good shape.’’

Amazingly, Eddy Curry actually had a start with the 2011-12 NBA Champion Miami Heat last season. As I’m sure you would guess, it was during a completely meaningless game, the Heat’s last of the season. It came against the Wizards and the Heat lost by 34, which is kind of what you’d expect with Eddy Curry as your starting center. Before that, his last start was with the Knicks in March of 2008, which they of course lost. Prior to that, the Knicks lost another four games with Curry as their starting center.

That means a team that starts Eddy Curry at center hasn’t won a game since February 27, 2007, a period of 2,073 days by the time their season officially starts. So basically, bet on the Lakers tomorrow night.

“We’re doing it every way you can do it. If we were a sex manual it’d be a best-seller.”Rick Carlisle, talking about turnovers, you creep

(via SLAM)

Join me as I count down my predictions of the regular season finishes for the 2012-13 NBA season, at a rate of three teams per day. Tell me why I’m wrong in the comments.

18. Dallas Mavericks
The Mavericks announced that Dirk had surgery on his knee today, which will keep him out of action for about six weeks and probably lead to the Mavs missing the playoffs for the first time since 2000. They’ve had one hell of a run of success, but this team is unlikely to crack the top eight in the West with the big German sitting out the first month of the season..

Dirk’s absence will hurt them on the offensive end, and they’re almost certain to take a step back defensively now that Chris Kaman will take over the starting center role. Brendan Haywood and Ian Mahinmi split the majority of the Mavericks’ minutes at center last season, and while nobody would confuse either of them with Tyson Chandler, they’re still significantly better defenders than Kaman. It will very interesting to see how Mark Cuban responds to missing the playoffs with this aging, declining roster.

17. Minnesota Timberwolves
Knuckle pushups, Kevin? Really? Even with Ricky Rubio expected to miss the first month-and-a-half of this season rehabbing his knee injury, I had the T-Wolves as a lock for the playoffs before Love apparently forgot that there’s only one Kevin in this league that knows how to do knuckle pushups without busting up his hand.

Unfortunately, the injuries to their star players have overshadowed the Timberwolves’ flashy signings of Andrei Kirilenko and Brandon Roy this off-season, not to mention the emergence of Nikola Pekovic as an offensive force around the rim — he was the only starter in the league to grab more offensive than defensive rebounds. There is some real talent on this roster, but they need to get and stay healthy if Minnesota’s eight-year playoff drought is going to end.

16. New York Knicks
Not only do the Knicks have four of the six oldest players in the NBA (Kurt Thomas, Jason Kidd, Marcus Camby and Rasheed Wallace) but their expected 13-man rotation will make them the oldest team in NBA history. Now, I get that experience is a good thing, but when four of your players are at least 38 years old, wear and tear has to be a concern. Then when you take into account the injury histories of some of their “younger” players like Tyson Chandler and Amar’e Stoudemire, it begins to seem like this team is held together with duct tape and wishes.

Even if they get lucky with their health, I continue to have concerns about how the Knicks’ offense can function effectively with both Carmelo Anthony and Stoudemire on the court. While their Offensive Rating put them at 17th in the league last season, they finished seventh in that category in 2010-11 with Raymond Felton running the point. Not coincidentally, they’ve brought Felton back to try to reclaim that glory.

While I’m not particularly bullish on this team, I feel like they have the biggest distance between their ceiling and floor of any NBA team this season. If they’re healthy and everything falls into place, I could see them finishing as high as third in the Eastern Conference. I also wouldn’t be shocked if they crashed right out of the playoff picture in a mess of sprained ankles and broken dreams. Either way, I’ll enjoy watching the more grizzled Knicks playing with their shorts pulled up around their chests.

Previously in the countdown: 30-28 | 27-25 | 24-22 | 21-19

If you go to the Nets’ actual website ( you’re going to get some actual Brooklyn Nets stuff. But if you just do a quickie-quick action, you’re getting that picture you see right there with Mark Cuban sticking his tongue out at fans of the Nets, taunting them for not owning their own splash page.

And at the bottom? A Mikhail Prokhorov picking up prostitutes zinger. As translated by Complex:

“Michael, have you noticed? Vilena wondered…”

That’s supposedly a reference to the since-dropped case of Prokhorov flying women in to “entertain his guests,” if you know what I mean. Zing-wise, that’s the exact sort of thing that would show up on a hacked website, so nice job hackers.

People are saying that Mark Cuban bought to mess with his newest rival, but there is absolutely no way that’s the case. One, the WhoIs data shows the site to be in the hands of Cyber Mesa Computer Systems, who have owned the site since 1994 and will continue to own it until 2014. Two, the site is in broken English and Russian, which means a) there’s no way it was Mark Cuban unless this is a too-clever part of the ruse and b) it was probably a Russian. Three, the reference to “Vilena” is something that’s virtually impossible to find on the internet and would therefore have to come from someone who paid attention to the scandal when it was happening (i.e. a Russian). Four, the link on the top right goes to the Russian version of the Nets’ website. Just a hunch — this was the work of a Russian who likes making jokes (possibly Andrei Kirilenko).

Nonetheless, if Mikhail Prokhorov thinks Mark Cuban did this, then that’ll probably push him closer to wanting to fight the Dallas owner. So if you happen to see Prokhorov around, tell him that Cuban did it. Seeing them in wrestling gear, kickboxing to the death will make for great blog content.

Sure, the upshot of this whole thing is that the Mavericks are sending a Dirk Nowitzki bobblehead in to the very nearest reaches of outer space with a camera — which is a pretty chill idea, by the way — but the important thing is that you get to listen to Dirk Nowitzki describe outer space and that is basically why the internet exists. He’s our generation’s Carl Sagan, just with better hair.

(via Mavs Moneyball)

“Chris has definitely hit me up for all my hunting contacts,” Mavs president of basketball operations Donnie Nelson said last week. “He wants to bag a white-tail deer and go hog hunting. So, I’m working on that.”Donnie Nelson, subliminally wooing the recently retired Brad Miller

I don’t know if this has anything to do with the return of “Shark Tank” — or if “Shark Tank” is even starting a new season, to be honest — but I am very much enjoying Mark Cuban’s media tour that he seems to be on right now. He’s said he’s not going to retire Jason Kidd’s jersey because he’s mad he left the Mavericks, he said the Mavericks are better off without Deron Williams even though they would have loved to have signed him this summer, and now, he’s dropped the most hilarious bombshell of the offseason.

From the Dallas Morning News:

“When I was doing Dancing with the Stars, I was taking breaks because I was talking to Kobe’s agent because Kobe wanted to get traded,” Cuban explained on the Ben and Skin Show on 103.3 [KESN-FM]. “Literally, between Dancing with the Stars practices I had thought we traded for Kobe Bryant. I even talked to their owner and thought we were going to have done deal, and [Lakers GM] Mitch Kupchak changed [Kobe’s] mind and brought him back.”

The fact that the Mavericks almost traded for Kobe Bryant during his “Andrew Bynum is a big dummy” stage isn’t the funny thing, even though it’s certainly believable and isn’t nearly as awkward as Daryl Morey claiming the Rockets almost landed Dwight Howard, but the fact that Cuban was trying to swing the deal while taking breaks from “Dancing with the Stars” is just great.

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