Archive for the ‘Detroit Pistons’ Category

(Vine note: Click the speaker button in the top left to hear sound. The video should loop automatically.)

If you think it’s weird that Andre Drummond loves penguins so much that a real-life penguin would give him a baby penguin, just wait until you see what happens when the baby penguin grows up to be seven feet tall.  That one’s after the jump, so go nuts.

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Either that or he forgot a ham in his old locker. One of the two.

Here is an open invitation to anyone out there reading this to replicate this song, upload it to YouTube and post it in the comments. This is the new “Harlem Shake.”

andre-drummond-bongos-nope

We all had a laugh when we heard that Andre Drummond was spending Pistons practices playing hand drums to help during his rehab from a recent back injury. Drumming, after all, is a pretty funny way to fix a back. And of course, his last name is Drummond, so the giggle factor was kicked up a notch. It was a perfect internet story.

Which is why I’m kind of bummed out that I have to tell everyone that it’s not really the case. Because according to Drummond, that was all just a big joke, as I found out yesterday at All-Star Media Day.

TBJ: Are you getting any better at the drums?

Drummond: That was a joke. I don’t really play the drums in practice.

TBJ: You don’t?!?

Drummond: I was joking around in practice one day. I don’t really do that.

Even though there are a few quotes about this being a real thing, I guess it does make more than a little bit of sense that a professional athlete wouldn’t be instructed to play the drums on the sideline while his team was practicing. Not only would it be annoying, it would also be REALLY annoying.

Fun while it lasted though.

What? You don't like my bongos? Fine. Have a soft core if you want.

Andre Drummond, who is huge, fell very hard on his back, which is terrible for a back. Ergo, he’ll miss 4-6 weeks.

And while we’ll all be sad at not getting to see him dunk 150 times in the Rising Stars Challenge, the Pistons have a really great idea for keeping him involved in practices. From USA Today:

The Detroit Pistons have gone really high-tech for center Andre Drummond’s rehab.

Try bongos.

While other Pistons were getting in some light jogging following this morning’s shootaround at the Palace practice facility, Drummond sat there beating on a bongo … badly.

“This is my rehab,” Drummond said as he walked away, carrying the drum.

Drummond is out four to six weeks because of a bad back, and the drum is a way for the Pistons to keep the rookie center engaged and feeling like he’s still part of the team.

Yeah, there actually is a method to strength-and-conditioning coach Arnie Kander’s bongo madness. Playing the drum requires good posture, so it helps the body’s core.

“Sometimes, in all professional sports, when you’re injured, it’s like sometimes you become invisible. It’s just the nature of it,” coach Lawrence Frank said. “I think it’s important that we integrate Andre in everything we do, and he integrates himself, too.

So basically, because the Pistons want Andre Drummond to keep learning and not get bored at practice, they have him play the bongos. Plus, according to their strength and conditioning coach, “it helps the body’s core,” which is why you always see bongo players with gigantic muscles.

It’s a pretty brilliant plan, if you ask me. People were worried about Drummond’s motivation before last summer’s draft, and while he’s seemingly squashed those concerns thus far, giving him a fun way to pass the time while he can’t play just makes sense. Idle hands are the Devil’s playground and all that. Not to mention, bongos never get annoying if you hear someone play them for hours on end, day after day after day. Especially if the bongoster has never played them before. I’m sure Andre Drummond’s teammates won’t ever bugged at the guy bongoing in the corner of every practice. Bongos are pretty widely accepted, no matter the scenario.

Also, his last name is “Drummond.” Haha.

When players get paid a lot, the default commentary position switches from pointing out their strengths to emphasizing their failings. Rudy Gay fell victim to this the day he signed a maximum value contract.

It is inevitable — he is being paid the max, but he doesn’t perform like a max player, and nor will he ever. This isn’t just true of fans’ perspectives, but of teams as well. Memphis, unashamedly and understandably on a budget, figured they don’t get enough from Rudy at that cost to make him worth keeping. Conversely, Toronto figure he’s worth the financial commitment. So who’s right?

In light of respective circumstances, possibly both.

Toronto’s small forward rotation has been one of the weakest positional rotations in the league. Landry Fields and Linas Kleiza have been hurt and underwhelming, while Mickael Pietrus has been just plain underwhelming. The position has been manned by out-of-position two guards who can’t defend the spot and shoot too much. Now the Raptors have a two-way fringe star of a player at the spot, for only the cost of two players whose usefulness they couldn’t maximize anyway.

Rudy’s performance this year has been frankly poor, but such is the very nature of apathy — a return to his usual career numbers is certainly plausible. At his best, Gay contributes in every facet of the game. Of course, even at his career apex, Gay’s contract is worryingly close to double the size it should be for a man of his impact. But the amount spent is only of importance if it prohibits future spending. The Raptors’s salary situation is sufficient that this should not be a factor going forward — as such, Gay’s contract, a big issue for Memphis, isn’t the same issue in Toronto. The issue is the impact of the team’s play going forward, and what value was achieved in the deal.

If you concede Jose Calderon couldn’t return to the Raptors next season — and, if you value Kyle Lowry, he couldn’t — he had to be dealt while his value was high. If Jose stays, he and Lowry negate each others value and create a expensive, if talented, logjam that’s destined to end in a ruckus. And, even though Calderon betters any team he is on, there weren’t many suitable suitors. Those who needed him the most didn’t have the pieces. And those who had the pieces didn’t really need him.

Toronto loses this deal if Gay doesn’t return to his best, and if they go forward with a trio of DeRozan, Gay and Bargnani, a highly paid trio that duplicates itself too much and doesn’t defend nearly as well as it should. But considering that Bargnani’s days are increasingly numbered, and in light of the intriguing play of Terrence Ross, there is no reason to believe that is the plan going forward. This trade completes phase one of a multi-part plan for the Raptors to return to the playoffs without tanking. Without pieces two or three in place, it’s hard to judge phase one accurately. In theory, however, Toronto takes forward a core of Lowry, Ross, Gay, Amir Johnson and Jonas Valanciunas, with Landry Fields and whatever they get for Bargnani and DeRozan also in the mix. That’s a low-seeded playoff team. For now, that’s a good start.

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Can’t wait for the sequel — “Pistons Fan Puts Old Tayshaun Prince Jersey at Bottom of Drawer Because He Thinks He Might Wear It Again Sometime, Only to Realize It’s Been So Long That He’s Worn It That Now It’s Full of Wrinkles.” It’s a working title, but you get the point.