Archive for the ‘Facial Hair’ Category

Have you always wanted a gigantic James Harden beard to honor your favorite left-handed sixth man, but don’t want to grow all that pesky facial hair? Lucky for you, the Tulsa World has a solution — cutout James Harden beards that are circulating in their dailies. Such a wonderful solution for the less hirsute among us, or for those of us whose significant others wouldn’t be OK with a small mammal hanging from our faces. Get yours right here.

But it doesn’t just stop at beards, the World also offers some suggestions for using your new fake beards.

Beard mask: Cut out beard. Attach tape at the ends to reinforce the paper and then poke small holes through the tape tabs. Tie pieces of string through the holes and tie at the back of your head.

Beard banner: Cut out several beards from papers and tape them to a string. Hang from a mantel or doorway where guests will be entering.

Beard fan(atic): Glue the beard cutout to cardboard, a manila folder or cardstock for stability and then cut out the cardboard. Glue the beard to a tongue depressor. Then, feel free to wave your beard in the air, like you just don’t care.

Beard centerpiece Cut out five beards and glue or tape them together at the sideburns, forming a circle. Use as a centerpiece on your party table around candles, serving bowls, etc.

While those are all really great suggestions that everyone should do, I think we can all agree that the best of those wonderful ideas is making a beard mask. No offense, Tulsa World, but creating a centerpiece out of paper to hold candles is a fire hazard.

So let’s stick to beards. I’m wearing one right now, in fact. And really, they look great on everyone. I took the time to put James Harden beards on some people who have meant a lot to me over the years, just to prove to you how versatile this look really is.

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This is what James Harden’s mom wants to see — a plain-faced James, looking 16 all over again. Not like he’s the NBA’s biggest hipster. Not like Mr. T. Not like he is trying to figure out ways to make his head appear as tall as possible. Just James, being a cute young man with a face you can see.

No offense to Momma Harden, but I think I speak for everyone when I say she’s wrong about this one. Keep the beard, James. Forever.

(via Nicki Jhabvala)

If you’re a bro with a beard, then you’ve surely had that conversation with your mom where she tells you how much she loves your face and wishes you would shave and and how even though she likes your beard she’ll always like your clean face better because that’s how you were born. Clearly, I am speaking from experience.

It’s no different for James Harden, owner of the NBA’s best and most famous beard. He went on ESPN’s Doug Gottlieb Show to talk about how hard it is to show your mother that your facial hair means a lot to you.

“It’s been over a year. I’m scared to touch it. That’s the sad part about it. I’m scared to touch it because I’m scared to see what I look like without my beard. I’ve gotten accustomed to it and used to it, even though my mom wants me to cut it bad. She keeps telling me to cut it or trim it down a little bit. But I keep telling her no. [...]

It’s tough cause it’s your mom, so you don’t want to tell her no. But at the same time, it’s like, this is who I am now. It’s The Beard. Everybody knows me by my beard now. It’s tough to tell her no, but mom has to know this is who I am.”

I’ve been there James. All of us bearded men have. You like your beard, people recognize your beard, but still, you mom is just always going to like you best without a beard. That’s one of the consequences you have to live with when you’re making a facial hair decision.

Let’s just all hope that James Harden stays strong and that his mom accepts that his beard is so wonderful that it even inspired it’s own t-shirt. We need James Harden’s beard in this league, if only to inspire a new generation of children to forsake their razors.