Archive for the ‘Food’ Category

I guess this is what happens once you’ve spent time in Stephen Jackson’s posse. Real gangsta ish.

(via Reddit)

demar-derozan-cake

At this point, it’s basically impossible for an NBA player’s custom birthday cake to not be insane. You remember Rip Hamilton’s, right? Nonetheless, let’s just take a look at how crazy DeMar DeRozan’s custom 24th birthday cake is.

For beginners, I have to imagine this is the first cake in history that marries two of the most similar cultures in all of North America: Toronto and Compton. Then, there’s a Jordan VI on there, in what I think has to be the Olympic colorway, though it’s kind of hard to tell since they’re made of icing and seem to be falling apart. Assuming they are the Olympics, that means we’ve got Canada and the United States battling for cake turf as well. And of course, there’s a classic Eazy-E hat on the top, despite the fact that DeRozan was five when Eazy-E died. Maybe he just likes the hat.

So on a scale from A Bit Crazy to Legit Insane, I’m giving this a Pretty Silly. It’s not the craziest cake ever, just like DeMar DeRozan isn’t the most exciting guy in the league, but between the hat and shoe, this is officially a crazy NBA cake. Add it to the list.

(via Facebook)

While I was on vacation last week, someone sent me a picture of Jerry Stackhouse fishing with “Top Chef” judge Tom Colicchio while the both of them wore giant khaki pants. Intrigued, I did a little searching and turned up an honest-to-goodness 22 minute episode of “Hooked Up,” Colicchio’s internet show where he takes famous people out to do some angling.

But because not all people share my passion for both food television and the late career goings on of Jerry Stackhouse, I watched the entire episode and took notes so that you could get the full “Hooked Up” experience without actually having to put in the time. Here is what happened.

00:10 — Colichs says he’s watched Jerry Stackhouse play “many, many games” and calls him a “professional basketball player,” which I think we can all agree are things that are true. I don’t ever remember seeing him creeping at an NBA game, but Colicchio seems to know his very basic stuff.

00:13 — It’s only 13 seconds in to this clip and Jerry Stackhouse already caught a fish. Seems rigged.

00:24 — Jerry Stackhouse wanted to transfer from UNC, but I think admitting that means he’s officially out of the UNC Family.

00:50 — Why is Jerry Stackhouse is trying to catch sharks?

01:22 — Fishing talk for all the fishing gear heads out there.

01:55 — Jerry Stackhouse pronounces it “Co-licky-YOOO.”

03;24 — Well, well, well, look who wants back in the UNC Family — Mr. Jerry Stackhouse. Typical.

Also, considering he’s been in the NBA for something like 56 years and has played for every franchise, both active and defunct, it’s hard to pick a team that represents Jerry Stackhouse. I feel like most people would consider him a Piston, but there are arguments to be made for the 76ers, Wizards, Mavs and as the captain of the Singin’ Swingmen, an all-NBA-player barbershop quartet Jerry started with Joe Smith during their rookie year.

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Between this and Tim Duncan sadly walking to the locker room with a piece of confetti stuck to his head, let’s congratulate the official confetti man on a job well done. Great job, confetti man.

(via @Deion_Slanders)

shane-battier-at-dennys

I know that guy sitting next to Shane Battier looks Photoshopped, but you have to believe me that this is real. I mean, he tweeted it, so it must be.

Denny’s. a championship tradition. #Grandslam

It’s no Chris Bosh going to Taco Bell, but I can still get behind a late night trip to Denny’s. The fact that Battier didn’t order the Moons Over My Hammy is kind of disappointing, but I understand that level of grease isn’t for every one. Nonetheless, do it for the puns, man.

But Battier wasn’t the only Heat player getting his food game right. Nope, LeBron James and Dwyane Wade CRUSHED some pizza with their buddy, non-media member Drake, at a club. Real thing!

Just another two reasons why the NBA is the best. (Technically second-best after pizza, but you know what I mean.)

chris-bosh-reading-in-locker-room

During the third quarter of last night’s Game 4 defeat, Chris Bosh’s gorgeous Hyperposite landed on one of Roy Hibbert’s clodhoppers, leading to a little bit of a rolled ankle for the Heat’s extra-skinny big man. Of course, Bosh returned to the game early in the fourth quarter, looking just the tiniest bit hobbled down the stretch, though there didn’t appear to any real lasting injury from the tweak.

But still, because everyone saw that foot turn over, Bosh had to be asked if he’d be hampered by an injury for the series’ next game. His response was pure Bosh. From ESPN:

Bosh declined to talk about the extent of his injured right ankle, but said he expected to play Thursday in Miami after getting treatment throughout the day Wednesday.

“It’s not [an] issue,” Bosh said. “It’s the playoffs. You’re going to have ups and downs. It’s not about what happens, but it’s about how you respond. I’m just going to watch some cartoons, eat some cereal and get ready for Game 5.”

Good to know that Chris Bosh, Kendrick Lamar and I all have the same strategy when prepping for playoff games — pour a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, throw on “Archer” and let it ride. Nothing more chill than getting your Saturday morning on when it’s not even Saturday morning. I assume Bosh will be in sweatpants and a robe as well, because I know he likes to keep things leisurely.

And seriously, considering Bosh finished Game 4 and told reporters afterwards that he would “probably not” miss Game 5 because, well, he had just finished playing Game 4, it’s probably OK for him to have a couple of bowls of cereal between now and Thursday. Live it up, man. Not only is it good for Bosh’s sore ankle to be off his feet, getting that sweet cereal sugar cranking through his sys might lead to a little extra hyperactivity which might lead to grabbing more rebounds than Ray Allen. I’m not saying cereal is the key to NBA success, but I’m also not not saying it.

soda-shaq

And here are some potential product slogans to ensure quality sales numbers.

  • Finally, an answer to “Tell me how my ass taste.”
  • Shaq’s big, so is this.
  • For when you really need to be out of shape to start the season.
  • Definitely not the stuff they used to see how much pop could fit in one of Shaq’s shoes all those years ago.
  • Goes great with Shaquille O’Neal vodka while wearing Shaquille O’Neal jewelry and watching a Shaquille O’Neal movie at a Shaquille O’Neal movie theater.
  • Three out of four Shaqs agree — this is a soda worth smiling about.
  • Shaquille O’Neal says it tastes great and he’s never told a lie.

Feel free to add yours in the comments. Feel free to tell me how any of these tastes. Feel free to live your life, maaaaan.

(via Darren Rovell)