Archive for the ‘Football’ Category

Back by popular demand, The Jones re-send Australian correspondent, Leigh Ellis, into the locker room to confuse NBA players with his accent. Leigh’s mission this round: To find out what the guys are cookin’ up for the Super Bowl this Sunday. What’s the most popular dish of choice? Does anyone even know how to cook? And, um, what the hell did Blazers forward Nicolas Batum just say? Enjoy the video, and enjoy The Big Game.

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Tim Tebow is the biggest sports story in the whole world right now. 316/3:16, am I right? Spooky.

Naturally, this football stuff has crossed over in to our precious NBA, where we saw two very different responses to Tebow’s seemingly predestined overtime victory against the Pittsburgh Steelers. First, the gentlemanly response from Suns coach Alvin Gentry, courtesy of Valley of the Suns via True Hoop:

“I’d like to start this off by saying, to all you Tebow haters: Take that.

That’s right, that’s right. For all you guys, all of those expert analysts out there who say he can’t do this and can’t pass, can’t run a pro offense, take that.

It just amazes me how the guy wins games, but everybody just kills the guy. I’m sure they’ll find a way to say bad things about this one, too, but he’s going and he’s playing again next week. That’s my team in case you didn’t know it.”

Exactly what you’d expect from a true Broncos fan. “In your faces” and all that jazz. Well played, Alvin Gentry.

Then there’s the Kobe Bryant-ly response, which comes from Kobe Bryant, strangely enough. From the Los Angeles Times:

“If he was an asshole,” Bryant said, “he would tell you right now to kiss his ass.”

And this is exactly what you’d expect from a true Kobe Bryant fan. Not quite as graceful as Gentry’s playful scolding of Tebow haters, but still a very valid response. If Tebow were the complete opposite of Tim Tebow, he’d be doing exactly what Kobe Bryant said he’d be doing. And not coincidentally, this is exactly what Kobe Bryant would be doing.

In fact, if I were guessing, I think Kobe Bryant would love to be Tim Tebow for a few days, just so he could tell people to “kiss his ass” for doubting him. Just a hunch but I feel like he’d really enjoy that.

How do you feel about LeBron James and Kevin Durant being such good friends? From this vijoe, it’s pretty obvious that they’re pals, which I would imagine rubs some people the wrong way. It’s like good and evil hanging out, playing football like it’s no big deal. Are you OK with this? (You should be OK with this.)

Anyway, funny to see how different these guys are as football players. Durant’s the deep threat, a real Randy Moss type who uses his height to beat small defensive backs down the field. LeBron’s the whole package, able to shake DBs with quick cuts and a broad frame. One of these guys could conceivably have an NFL future and one of them is the franchise cornerstone of the Oklahoma City Thunder.

Speaking of the Thunder, I’m sure they’ll love the part where KD makes a tough catch and has his legs taken out from under him. That should go over pretty well in the front office.

If you want to watch the whole game, be my guest. LeBron’s team won 70-63, so I’m sure it’s totally worth it.

Do you think LeBron James would be able to play in the NFL right now? Maybe. Probably. After all, he is super athletic, huge and very strong. Those are all the hallmarks of a great football player, so it is an understandable stance, if you have it.

But if you don’t think he’d be a football player, there are some guys who agree with you. They play in the NFL, so they know what they’re talking about. From Fox News Ohio:

“It wouldn’t be easy,” Cincinnati Bengals cornerback Leon Hall said. “I recommend he keep his NBA contract and just play the Madden video games if he misses football.”

And this guy:

“There aren’t many guys with the athleticism and strength LeBron has in any sport,” [Bengals safety Chris] Crocker said. “But I also think guys pick the sports they pick for a reason. Just like (Chad) Ochocinco thinks he’s a soccer player until he gets up close and sees how skilled pro soccer players really are, there’s nothing easy about the NFL.”

And this guy:

[Former NFL linebacker Chris] Spielman said James is the “greatest athlete I’ve ever seen,” but there’s more than just the physical contact he’d worry about in a hypothetical transition.

“He’s the mentally weakest person I’ve ever seen,” Spielman said.

Now all these guys agree that he could physically play in the NBA, what with the giant muscles and insane speed for a 275 pound dude, but they question the adjustment from playing high school football nearly a decade ago to jumping in to the NFL. Considering the fact that guys who play football their entire lives have trouble acclimating to professional football, it’s a pretty safe bet that a guy who has no upper level experience is really going to struggle. There’s no doubt in mind that if LeBron had stuck with football instead of basketball that he’d be an amazing football player, but since he hasn’t, I have doubts.

That’s not to say that teams wouldn’t sign LeBron James, even if he is just a backup tight end who doesn’t play special teams. The marketing dollars alone would surely make up his contract, plus some genius coach would love to try to find a way to use him effectively in the red zone. And after a couple years, he’d probably be Mr. Touchdownbeat and all football fans would hate him because that is just what happens.

But that is not the case, and it is hardly important. LeBron James would struggle mightily in the NFL, but he’s not going to sign up there anyway. He’s the most talented basketball player alive and he’s 26 years old. He’s not going to jeopardize another 15 years of playing basketball because he’s enjoying the attention he gets from Tweeting about the NFL. Let’s just enjoy the video of him in Madden and be done with this nonsense. Agreed? Cool.

I am not convinced that LeBron James could play football in the NFL right now because:

  • He hasn’t played competitive football in almost a decade.
  • Us NBA bros underestimate the NFL’s across-the-board athleticism.
  • The NFL is a very specialized game with a learning curve that is insanely steep even for professional players.
  • A bunch of other reasons.

That being said, if you make him in to a Madden character and play with him, he’s awesome. Just check him out up there — playing running back, catching passes, having comically huge shoulders. Just totally dominating, like the best possible version of Keith Jackson in Tecmo Super Bowl.

Now let’s see how he’d do as a volleyball player. Someone find a copy of Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball and we’ll patch him in.

(via Eye On Football)