Archive for the ‘Kevin Garnett’ Category

Kevin Garnett is good at a lot of things. Defense, rebounding, trash talking, playing with enigmatic point guards during various stages of their career, intimidating smaller European players, screaming — you name it and Kevin Garnett has probably done in in the NBA, and done it well.

But no one can be good at literally everything when it comes to the NBA. That just wouldn’t be fair. Even Michael Jordan wasn’t a great three-point shooter. So it should come as no surprise that there is something that Kevin Garnett is bad at in this league of ours. It’s just maybe a surprise that that thing is giving nicknames to rookies.

From’s Jessica Camerato:

Fab Melo: “The Youngin. [He calls] everybody Youngin. Oh, and Melo. He calls me by my last name . . . He never calls me Fab. I don’t really care about that stuff. In Brazil, we don’t care. We call first name, last name, it doesn’t really matter. I don’t mind.”

Dionte Christmas: “He called me Temple (Christmas’ alma mater, Temple University). It was cool, it was alright. I respect it.”

Jared Sullinger: “Youngin.”

Jamar Smith: “He calls me something different every day – Young Fella, Youngin, ‘A.’ [He called me 'A' because] he thinks so fast, he’s always talking. He calls everybody all kind of names. He hasn’t called me by my first name yet. He knows my name. When we’re talking, when we’re in the locker room, he’ll be like, ‘Smith!’ But for the most part on the court, Youngin and Young Fella.”

Kris Joseph
: “Rook, Young Fella, Youngin, three names. I’m assuming he knows my name, but those are the three names he does call me.”

There are six rookies on the Celtics’ training camp roster and four of them are called “Youngin” or something like that. One is nicknamed after where he went to college and the other is “Micah Downs” who might be made-up but would still probably be called “Youngin.” That is not very good nicknaming from one of the league’s elder statesmen.

And while it might seem weird that a guy who’s been around the NBA for 17 seasons would be basically clueless about nicknames, consider what Kevin Garnett’s been called in his career — “Da Kid,” “The Big Ticket” and “KG.” Even he hasn’t had a very good nickname. It’s a vicious cycle.

In fact, it’s so vicious that the odds are that you can guess Garnett’s various nicknames for his teammates. What follows is a list of Kevin Garnett approved nicknames for his teammates, as extrapolated from his rookie monikers.

Read the rest of this entry »

Summer’s over, but there’s still just enough time to recharge the batteries before a full NBA season. Ergo, we’re off today. But to tide you over, enjoy Kevin Garnett getting a covert shoutout on last night’s episode of “Parks and Recreation.”

Back Monday with a vengeance.

“Paint your face, clown!”Kevin Garnett heckling Dwight Howard, allegedly, during actual basketball games

Simply put, there are not many more dastardly tricks you can pull on a basketball court than smacking a dude on the nuts as he takes a jumper. Just ask Channing Frye how he felt after that dirty rotten scoundrel Kevin Garnett tapped the Rockies and he’ll agree. When a player is taking a jump shot, he shouldn’t have to worry about taking a slap to the balls.

So imagine everyone’s surprise when it happened during yesterday’s United States-Argentina game. In the Olympics, the world’s paragon of completely unimpeachable athletic integrity, no less. Shame on Facundo Campozzo for sullying the Games’ good name.

Lucky for us, the teams involved presented us with an effective and civilized game plan for addressing on-court nut shots.

STEP 1: Condemn the ball-slapper, as Team USA did. From the Chicago Tribune:

‘‘It was wrong,’’ Kobe Bryant (11 points in 21 minutes) said angrily of the jab. ‘‘We told him, ‘You don’t do that.’ ’’

Keeping things straightforward and to the point is the most important thing here. Saying “You don’t do that” might seem like a no doy situation to you, but sometimes that’s what the offending party needs to hear. Just address the situation face-to-face in an adult manner and you are halfway to remedying the problem.

STEP 2: Apologize for hitting another guy in the balls, as Facundo Campozzo did. From the Oakland Tribune:

“He socked Carmelo in the (groin) when he was shooting the ball,” Bryant said. “You can’t do that. He was wrong. I have a great amount of respect for Argentina and how hard they’ve played. But that was uncalled for, and I let him know. To his credit, he said, ‘It was my fault.’ “

Even though he suffered a momentarily lapse in non-nut-tapping judgment, Campozzo realizes that what he did was wrong and takes credit for his mistake. He’s right when he says “It’s my fault,” because there is literally no other way that one guy racking another guy can be interpreted, but it’s good to get that out in the open and start a dialogue that should hopefully help avoid an international incident.

As you can see, this is a fairly simple plan for dealing with a player taking a shot to the junk. Quotes like “You can’t do that” and “It was my fault” prove that you don’t need a whole bunch of drama and anger when a guy decides to send his opponent on a one-way trip to Bangkok. Yes, it helps having an elder statesman like Kobe Bryant around to mediate the affair, but really all it takes is eight words broken up in to two sentences. Very easy.

However, there also exists an even easier plan for avoiding nut taps on the basketball courts. I present it to you with no further delay.

STEP 1: Don’t hit another guy in the balls.

That’s the whole plan. Keep that in mind any time you’re playing basketball and things should be fine.