The NBA will be cancelling at least two more weeks of its season, according to a person familiar with the league’s plans. [...]
With talks broken off between the owners and players, and the two sides far apart on major “system” issues, the cancellations are expected to total at least 102 more games, through Nov. 28. No further talks are in the works.
On the bright side, now none of you have any excuses for missing a TBJ: No Season Required show. Even if you live 16 hours away, it’s not like you’re going to be missing anything if you drive through the night to see us make jokes about air travel. There’s always a silver lining.
Of course, if things continue like this, we’re going to have to extend the tour, Leonard Cohen style. See you soon, Ypsilanti.
Dwyane Wade, Chris Paul, and Carmelo Anthony won’t stop balling, yo. Be it D-Wade’s Flamingo Sr. Rec Center League run, CP3′s NOLA Inter-Parish League battle, or ‘Melo’s Jewish under-40 league pick-up … nobody can take away their love of the game. You hear that, Stern? Nobody. Not even the Williamsburg hipsters!
Bonus: Hit the jump for the real “star” of this spot …
Lots of Tyson Chandler news for all the TysonHeads out there. It’s been a big year for you guys, between the FIBA World Championship, the NBA title and his impending free agency that will make him a lot of money whenever free agency actually takes place. Outside of 2001, this has probably been the best year to be a TysonHead. Might even be better than 2K1, but I’ll leave it up to the true ChanChanMans to debate that minutia.
“It’s unfair to the players, it’s unfair to the fans because it’s only going to lead to a longer lockout. A negotiation is a negotiation, and that’s the way it should be, but this is more dictators than anything, and I don’t feel this is going as a negotiation.”
Who does Tyson Chandler think he is calling people dictators? Stan Van Gundy?
Between this and Bryant Gumbel dropping “plantation overseer” on David Stern, it’s been a rough few days for the NBA side of the negotiations with regards to name-calling. They are definitely losing that battle right now. Not that we should feel sorry for them since they’re kind of being jerks about everything, but they’ve had a few zings in their faces lately. I’m sure that’ll keep them up at nights while they’re trying to sleep on their mattresses stuffed with hundred dollar bills.
“[Wednesday] we thought we were moving toward a deal. Suddenly, today, they spend very little time negotiating. As soon as we got in there and presented our offer and without caucusing, they said, ‘We don’t have to do anything else. We can tell you right now we’re at 50 percent, and it has to be our way.’” — Kessler
In 1999, the NBA season started exactly one month after a deal was reached, with teams squeezing 50 games in to a three month abbreviated schedule. So far only the first two weeks of this coming season have been canceled — and despite 16 hour negotiation sessions Stern and Hunter will not be shaking each other’s hands today or tomorrow — but it appears there’s no way a revamped schedule will start prior to December.
Lucky for us, there are rumors that an 82 game schedule starting December 1 exists somewhere on the computer of Matt Winick, the man who’s been plotting the NBA season for over 25 years. Some would say, “Just push the schedule back a month,” meaning we would be watching the NBA Finals in July. But as the Los Angeles Times reported, it will basically be impossible for the Staples Center to hold Finals games past the current drop dead date of June 21. As we all know, the Clippers will be the Western Conference champions, so pushing back the schedule is out.
This will likely be the case in arenas throughout the league since they were free to book anything and everything — Nick Carter, anyone? — beyond June 21. As part of the standard scheduling process, arenas are required to send the league a certain number of available dates from November to April in order for the scheduler to arrange 41 home games.
Thanks to a need to be first, a personal assistant who can’t answer simple questions and a negotiating session that lasted forever, various members of the basketball media were stuck at yesterday’s mediation session for more than 16 hours. That is a long time to be without access to food, because leaving the scene means you might miss out on an update that nothing really happened. It’s almost a whole day.
But don’t worry, the media is eating fine, thanks to some jokey jokes from the league. From the Boston Herald:
So far, the menu has included cookies from the league, ice cream bars and, minutes ago, a bit of Chinese food from the union. Also, cap expert Larry Coon had a couple of pizzas sent over.
You see, the NBA and the players do care about the people whose livelihoods depend upon them. Why else would they send cookies and Chinese food? (It is unclear who sent the ice cream bars. Pulitzer Prize goes to whoever gets to the bottom of this mystery.) All this time we thought they were heartless jerks who only want their money, when it turns out they’re more than willing to shovel empty calories at a bunch of people who are getting so hungie that they can barely stand it.
This is what the lockout has come to. There is such a lack of actual news that a legitimate news organization is running food status updates on their website. And really, finding out that reporters got some deserts and some late night college snacks is much more interesting than reading a thousand updates on how long the meetings are taking and then reading about how nothing really happened in the meeting.
Come to think of it, it might have been the biggest financial news of the night that the two sides dug deep in to their pockets to hook these dudes up with some grub. Wonder if they split the cost 50-50.
“Modern plantation overseer” … “his boys” … “hired hands.” Those are some pretty harsh words, Bryant Gumbel.
But I guess that is why it’s not TV, it’s HBO. Television wouldn’t allow one of its anchors to insinuate that the commissioner of a major sports league is basically a slave owner, but on HBO it’s OK. They had “Game of Thrones,” so anything goes.
Really wish he could have worked in some sort of Khal Drogo reference.