Archive for the ‘Los Angeles Lakers’ Category

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On July 31, 2007, something happened that set the course for the next half-decade of American professional basketball: the Boston Celtics traded five players and two draft picks to the Minnesota Timberwolves for Kevin Garnett. Then about six months later, the team’s age-old rival from across the country, the Los Angeles Lakers, responded by upping the ante, trading three players and two draft picks to the Memphis Grizzlies for Pau Gasol. The two trades, and the ensuing personnel moves they helped make possible, would fortify the two teams into perennial powerhouses, in the process reviving a feud that had once (twice, even) defined the NBA, and would result in the teams combining to win the next three championships — two of which even featured the clubs squaring off against each other, as they did six times in the ’60s, and three times in the ’80s.

That’s all over now. If one more nail in the coffin of Lakers-Celtics, Mk. III was needed, it was certainly provided in this year’s postseason, when for the first time since the Pau and KG trades, both teams have lost in the first round, in series that neither were expected to win. Both teams are in a state of personnel-related turmoil that they largely managed to avoid over the first five seasons of their resurgence; now, of the many players who have defined the two franchises, it’s unclear if any of them will be back and healthy at the start of next season. The Lakers and Celtics will almost certainly be really good again, possibly at the same time, and possibly even soon, but it won’t be with this same cast of characters, or anything close. It’s time to move on.

Still, upon the death of this latest incarnation of the NBA’s oldest and greatest rivalry, it’s worth taking a moment to reflect on the significance that Lakers-Celtics III played in re-shaping the NBA over its half-decade of prominence, how it helped revive the league from one of its deeper lulls, and how it now leaves the league in a much better place than where it found it. Not to mention, the many memories it provided, the careers it validated, and the mythology it helped re-perpetuate.

Consider what the league was like just before the Kevin Garnett trade. The reigning powers in the West and East were the Spurs (who won three championships in five seasons) and Pistons (who made five straight conference finals, soon to be six), seemingly because no other franchise had come along that was talented and consistent enough to totally dethrone them. The Pacers once appeared to be building a championship-caliber team, but they were derailed by the Malice at the Palace, and gutted by the ensuing suspensions and trade demands. The Heat and Mavericks both made the Finals in 2006, but fell apart shortly afterwards, neither team winning a single playoff series for another three years. The Suns tried to prove you could do it without defense, and very well might have if not for the basketball gods (and/or the Spurs, and/or David Stern, and/or their own cheapskate owner) constantly getting in their way. And whether or not he was personally ready, it’d take the Cavs another couple of years to realize LeBron James needed more than Larry Hughes and Drew Gooden as “help” to win his first title, though he did manage to drag Cleveland to their first and only Finals appearance in franchise history, anyway.

It might not have been a state of chaos in the NBA, exactly, but it had precious little in the way of order or narrative. Average NBA fans found it tough to muster excitement for history-devoid Finals matchups like Heat-Mavericks or Spurs-Cavaliers, and not even diehard NBA fans could make a whole lot out of the resulting games from the latter, four low-scoring games all won by San Antonio, which produced the lowest ratings in NBA Finals history. Though teams like the Seven Seconds or Less Suns and the We Believe Warriors gained well-deserved followings, there was no big market, powerhouse team to really capture the nation’s imagination the way the Jordan Bulls or Shaq Lakers had — and that’s exactly what the NBA suddenly needed to distract fans from the Tim Donaghy scandal, which broke just about a week before the KG trade and threatened to undermine the integrity of the entire sport. (“After the most damaging NBA season in three decades … we reached the tipping point with Tim Donaghy,” wrote a noted Lakers-Celtics anthologist for ESPN. “Guilty or innocent, we will never watch an NBA game the same way.”)

While all this was going on, Paul Pierce and Kobe Bryant were toiling away on subpar Celtics and Lakers teams, either just scraping their way into the playoffs and losing in the first round, or missing the postseason entirely, as Kobe did in ’05 and Pierce did in ’06 and ’07. By summer ’07, both franchise players were growing impatient and gritting their teeth through their team’s lean years. Adrian Wojnarowski reported in June of that year that Paul Pierce would request a trade shortly after draft night were he not paired with “a talented veteran co-star,” and Kobe actually did request a trade, very nearly being sent to Detroit. But both stars were talked off the ledge, with Pierce particularly assuaged by the Celtics’ draft night deal for perennial All-Star Ray Allen, and Bryant eventually comforted by the improvement of big man prospect Andrew Bynum in his third season, a player who Kobe had previously insisted the Lakers deal for veteran help. Soon, of course, both players would get the blockbuster deal to validate their hard-earned patience.

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If you watched last night’s Lakers-Spurs game or today’s episode of The Fix, then you already know that both Steves, Nash and Blake, got hurt in Los Angeles’ loss. And if you watched Game 1, then you know Jodie Meeks got hurt in that loss. And if you like basketball, you already know that Kobe Bryant is out with a torn Achilles tendon. And if you know how teams work, you know this news from the Lakers Twitter feed is really bad.

INJURY UPDATE: @SteveBlake5 had an ultrasound today, confirmed a moderate strain of his right hamstring. He’s out indefinitely.

INJURY UPDATE: @Jmeeks20 will have an MRI test this afternoon on his sprained left ankle. His status for tomorrow’s game is doubtful.

INJURY UPDATE: @SteveNash recieved 2 epidural injections in his back today & a cortisone shot in his right hip. He is doubtful for tomorrow.

Fun tweets, to be sure, but this means now is probably a good time to take a quick inventory of which Lakers guards that exist might actually be healthy enough to play on Friday. After scouring every piece of available information, I’ve determined that these are the noteworthy Lakers’ guard options for Game 3.

  • Chris Duhon, point guard
  • Andrew Goudelock, shooting guard
  • Darius Morris, point guard
  • Magic Johnson, point guard who would probably come back in a second if the Lakers weren’t joking
  • Ted Vagina, security guard
  • Nick Van Exel, combo guard/Hawks coach
  • Jerry West logo on jerseys, old guard/thread
  • Byron Scott, unemployed shooting guard/head coach
  • Brian Shaw, shooting guard/Pacers coach
  • Adrian Dantley, crossing guard

As you can see, there are not a lot of options here. It’s pretty much sucky current players, a coach for another team, an old guy or Will Ferrell. Considering Will’s like 6-foot-3, he might be the best choice. Let’s hear your ideas in the comments.

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Old people talking about Twitter — is it the best or the worst?

While you’re considering that very important question, I’ll offer you two pieces of information regarding Twitter from a couple of NBA old guys. The first is Tim Duncan, courtesy of Yahoo! Sports’ Marc Spears:

On why he isn’t on social media, Spurs Tim Duncan says: “Because I have no desire to tell you what I’m doing.”

The second is Metta World Peace, via ESPN’s Dave McMenamin:

Metta on if Kobe’s tweeting is a distraction: “Absolutely not … I’m a distraction.”

If you were ever looking for the perfect definition of the difference betwixt Tim Duncan and Metta World Peace, you’d be hard pressed to find something more fitting than these two statements. On one hand, you have Tim Duncan completely ducking the spotlight because he doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s doing. On the other hand, you have Metta World Peace volunteering that even he knows he’s a distraction. This is two sentences about a microblogging service, but they are totally indicative of everything about these two guys.

Oh, and don’t be too salty about not getting to know what Tim Duncan is up to all the time. Us humans would have a hard time deciphering the robot noises his operating system would automatically publish to Twitter anyways, so it’s not a big deal.

Everybody wants to look good for the playoffs.

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Don’t know if you heard, but Kobe Bryant’s epic 2012-13 basketball season came to an end Friday night when he tore his Achilles in a 118-116 win against the Golden State Warriors. I have some thoughts about this, and here they are.

1. In the NBA TV post-game recap of Lakers-Warriors, analyst Steve Smith said the following of the moment of Kobe’s season-ending injury: “When you saw, you knew.”

Nuh-uh. Nope. Maybe when you saw, you knew, Steve Smith, but when I saw, I didn’t know s—. Maybe with another player when I saw, I would know. With Kobe Bean Bryant, I saw, and I thought the same thing I always thought when Kobe went down for any reason during the course of a big game: Whatever. There are just two players in the league that when it looks like they go down with a potentially devastating injury, I automatically hit fast forward on the DV-R because I know it won’t actually mean anything: LeBron James and Kobe Bryant. LeBron never gets injured, and Kobe always gets injured, but stays in the game anyway.

If it was really important, I’d hear something about it later in the game or postgame. But Kobe leaving the game with injury, with just a couple minutes left in the latest in a series of countless consecutive Most Important Lakers Games of the Season? I didn’t believe it for a second. Hell this was the third time in that game that Kobe went down with what potentially looked (for a normal player) to be a devastating injury — first with an awkward landing on his left knee, then one on his right — both times, I did the DV-R fast forward, and both times, Kobe kept on truckin’. Even when he hobbled off the court, with that horrifyingly pained and defeated look on his face, and headed straight for the locker room, I still believed he’d find a way to come back. Kobe always finds a way to come back.

Kobe Bryant didn’t come back in that game. “Sobering” doesn’t come close to describing my emotional response to this. For maybe the first time in my basketball-watching life, I was genuinely fearful, in a way that didn’t really have anything to do with sports.

2. Can you remember the last time such a pivotal in-game moment happened late on a Friday night? I can’t. I don’t think there’s a single time of the week you’d least expect something totally season-altering to happen other than after Midnight on a Friday. There were probably big Laker fans — and though I always root for them, I can’t really consider myself a Laker fan in the true sense — that didn’t even watch the game, and woke up to the news on Saturday morning that for the first time since Hootie and the Blowfish and Alanis Morissette were the most popular musical artists in the world, they were going to have to envision a team, a playoffs, a future without Kobe Bryant. Just thinking about it makes me shiver.

3. The funniest thing about this to me now is how petty all the Lakers mini-squabbles from earlier in the season seem now. Kobe and Dwight not getting along. Mike Brown being replaced with Bernie Bickerstaff being replaced with Mike D’Antoni. Dwight and Pau not properly co-existing on the court. Kobe and Nash not properly co-existing on the court. Should the Lakers go big? Should the Lakers go small? Will the Lakers ever thrive as a Seven Seconds or Less team? Did the Lakers doom themselves by not getting Phil Jackson? When will the Lakers figure it all out? When will the Lakers’ season officially “start” for real?

Kobe Bryant is out for the year, and now absolutely none of this matters.

4. Speaking of petty squabbles, here’s one: the Lakers’ announcing team did an absolutely garbage job capturing the severity of the moment, both before Kobe’s injury, when No. 24 was giving a Herculean performance in a must-win game at home and the best the announcers could offer was “THE MAMBA … IS LOOKING LIKE … THE MAMBA!” and after the injury, seemed to have no idea about the severity of it until he had to trudge his way off the court. Understandable why in preseason the schedule-makers might not have ticketed Warriors-Lakers for national viewing, but man, you wish they could’ve flexed it somehow so that Breen and Van Gundy or Tirico and Hubie could been on the call for such an epochal moment in 21st-century basketball.

5. Inevitably lost in the fallout from this game will be just what an incredible performance it was for Kobe — one that his 34 points (9-21 FG), five boards, four assists, five TOs stat line doesn’t really do justice. Already limping around the court from the first two times he went down in the game — and again, it has to be mentioned how incredible it was that even after those two dingers, it still took the death blow of the torn Achilles to KO him for good — he looked like he might not be able to be effective as anything but a decoy for the final quarter.

Still, he managed to hit his last two threes — the second one being a ridiculous pull-up from a couple feet behind the top of the arc, well-contested by the outstretched arm of Harrison Barnes, a life-long Kobe devotee who was just four years old when the future Black Mamba was drafted by the Lakers — and hit two free throws to tie the game back up, before hobbling off the court, leaving his teammates to finish the job. Even Laker haters had to have been rooting for Pau, Dwight and friends to do just that.

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I don’t want to spoil the entire thing for anyone, but there is a must-read piece about Kobe Bryant’s ill-fated rap career on Grantland that you must read. But before you do that, let’s enjoy what may be the two funniest parts of the thing, just because you can imagine the respective mouths that said these things.

First, here’s Kobe Bryant doing what he does best — scolding a teammate for failing during a competition.

After a few rounds, Broady ran out of lyrics and the sparring session wound down. Kobe then chided his teammate. “Yo, you got to be in lyrical fitness, man,” Bryant told Broady, referencing a well-known lyric by the rapper Canibus.

I know the internet uses LOL when anything is even the least bit funny, but I legitimately L’d out L when I read this. Kobe Bryant has always been Kobe Bryant, I guess, even when he was trying to be a rapper. Too good.

Now it’s the Shaq portion of the post, and as you might expect, Shaq talking about rap is actually Shaq rapping about Kobe rapping.

Shaq also took shots at Kobe in 2001. “I’m at All-Star Weekend in D.C. and I ran into Shaq,” Rick Nice says. “He’s wearing a white fur and we’re in the VIP section in the hotel. I am trapped in the corner. He has a radio with CDs and he’s playing the beats and he’s rhyming, freestyling, making s–t up off the top of his head. ‘Something something and I can’t stand Kobe / Something something and I rap better than Kobe / Something something I flip skills better than Kobe / I score more than Kobe.’

After a while, I’m looking at him like, ‘Why are you going so hard at Kobe with these rhymes?’ I didn’t know what to feel. It felt weird. I’m trying to flirt with girls and Shaq had me in a headlock rhyming about Kobe. He said, ‘I got bars. I got bars for Kobe.’ He had this radio that looked little in his hand. He had beat CDs and was changing the CDs and rapping and wouldn’t let you leave until you heard his rap. I was like, ‘Wow, OK.’”

If you’re not already doing it, please imagine Shaquille O’Neal, chilling in a hotel bar while wearing a white fur coat with a tiny portable CD player in his hand, forcing people to listen to him rap about how much better of a rapper he is than another basketball player, who just so happens to be his teammate and archnemesis. This is quite possibly the least hip-hop/most Shaquille O’Neal thing that has ever happened.

So yes, read the whole thing, especially if you want to have your mind blown by people sincerely praising Kobe Bryant’s skills on the mic. But also read it for people laughing about Kobe Bryant’s skills on the mic. It’s the best of both worlds.

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Time for a quick pop quiz. I am going to give you a transcription of a Metta World Peace quote with certain details pulled out and you have to let me know what on Earth he’s talking about.

Here is the edited quote, based on a transcription by the Point Forward:

“Well, you know, I’m just too sexy for my cat. I’m too sexy for my cat. My cat. I’m just too sexy for my cat. If I wasn’t as sexy for my cat, [REDACTED]. I’m so sexy, [REDACTED].

Too sexy for my cat, too sexy to wear a sleeve or a bracelet, [REDACTED]. I felt sexy, I felt like my team was working, I felt like we wanted it. We just wanted to come together collectively.

Play hard, do it together. … I’m definitely too sexy for my cat, definitely, we know that. I’m also [REDACTED]. I’m too sexy for the cat.”

Hit the jump for the full quote.

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