Archive for the ‘Los Angeles Lakers’ Category

Even though there are apparently a bunch of Chinese celebrities in this ad, I like it just fine while only knowing who Yi Jianlian and Kobe Bryant are (and virtual Kevin Durant, but pixels aren’t people). It’s like one-half of that future Nike ad from a year ago, combined with Michael Jordan explaining how hard work is what made him the best ever, then subtitled. Which is to say, very fun.

He can still dunk.

And he can still hit impossible game-winners between two defenders as the clock is running down. So in conclusion — yes, still good at basketball.

metta-world-peace-pajamas

It’s been a while since Metta World Peace did something wacky for no real reason, so let’s all enjoy this story of police showing up at his house. From the Los Angeles Times:

“I’m in my underwear and my son says, ‘Hey dad, there’s police at the door,’” World Peace said in an interview with The Times after the Lakers beat the Boston Celtics on Wednesday evening. “So I jump out, I’m nervous. I see these police with rifles and scopes.

“I’m like, ‘What happened?’ I don’t know what’s going on at this point. ‘What happened, what happened?’ And then the police was like, ‘The building is being taken over by guys downstairs.’”

Apparently the guys downstairs were three actors in a movie that World Peace’s company, Artest Media Group, is producing about life on the streets.

Unbeknownst to World Peace, the actors, one of whom World Peace says is his nephew, had decided to rehearse a scene outside of his Westside condo complex the previous evening with a fake shotgun and two fake 9-millimeter guns as props. After the actors finished the scene, they then decided to play with the guns in front of the valet at World Peace’s condo complex.

And this:

The men explained the situation to the police, who then knocked on World Peace’s door to verify their story.

“At first when I seen the police, I was like, ‘What the hell is going on?” World Peace said. “I just got finished watching ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ or whatever that movie is. I’m like, ‘I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming. Is there a terrorist in the building? Do y’all need my help?’”

After a brief conversation with the police, World Peace put on his Cookie Monster pajamas and accompanied them outside.

And, of course, this:

“Like 20 cops’ cars are outside, like 10 more police,” he said. “My brother had his hands behind his back and [there were] helicopters. The whole Wilshire [Blvd.] was shut down. The street shut down. No cars nowhere.”

So just to sum things up — Metta World Peace got woken up by a bunch of cops because some actors he was paying were playing with fake guns in the street, then he offered to help the police catch a terrorist because he’d just seen “Zero Dark Thirty” and then he put on some Cookie Monster jammies to offer his assistance. I can’t even tell you what my favorite part of this is because every part is my favorite part. I mean, how do you pick between Cookie Monster PJs and wanting to fight a terrorist? It’s impossible.

You know, I think one more “KEVIN!” would have got Kevin Garnett’s attention. Just one more. Maybe next time.

(via Reddit)

LeBron Artest, am I right?

Hey man, if you were going to take a wild guess at how Metta World Peace would describe LeBron James, would you guess he’d say something along the lines of “He’s a more athletic me?” I hope so, because that’s exactly what he said.

From the Los Angeles Times:

World Peace wasn’t overly complimentary afterward, other than saying James was a “smart player.”

“You’ve got to give credit to everybody,” World Peace said. “You’ve got to give credit to the shooters on his team. You’ve got to give credit to coaches drawing up great plays. You’ve got to give credit to the screen-and-rolls that they set. It’s all about the team. It’s not about one individual.”

But what if that individual is averaging 35.5 points in two games against the Lakers while shooting a sublime 67%? And averaging seven rebounds, six assists and three steals in the two victories?

“I’m like four or five years before my career’s over. I compliment after my career’s over,” said World Peace, who has one more year and $7.7 million left on his Lakers contract.

“We’re actually trying to win a championship this year. When my career’s over, I’ll give praise to guys who dominated that I stopped and guys that had good games against me. Right now it’s just not appropriate for me to judge anybody positive or negative.”

The closest World Peace came to complimenting James was a couple of days before the game.

“He’s definitely strong,” World Peace said, trying to find the right metaphor. “He reminds me of a more athletic me.”

Yeah, of course — this is exactly what a person would guess Metta World Peace would say about LeBron James. After all, MWP is the guy who once said Brandon Roy and a guy named Mike Chafley were the best players he’d ever played against. Obviously he’s going to look at LeBron James, who kind of is all of the good parts of prime Metta World Peace amplified 1,000 percent, and describe him as “a more athletic me.” That makes all the Metta World Sense in the Metta World, if you really think about it. I mean, LeBron’s no Mike Chafley, that’s for sure. So he must be closer to MWP himself. It’s math.

And like I said, prime Metta World Peace (who was really Ron Artest back then, which is key to remember when you’re digging out his old quotes) kind of was LeBron James-y before LeBron truly became LEBRON JAMES. Never as good, duh, but they used to be able to do similar things like handle the ball, post up, look really strong, create for their teammates, guard just about anybody and change their uniform number from 23 to something else. Even though his best season (that 7-game campaign before he punched all those fans, when he was a legitimate MVP candidate) is only really one of LeBron’s “worst” seasons, but MWP could definitely do some LeBron things back in the day.

So yeah, LeBron is a more athletic Metta World Peace. He’s also a better shooter, thinker, passer, defender and rebounder but he is also that. They’re not mutually exclusive, so Metta is technically right here. I’m just interested in hearing how he’d describe Kevin Durant. Just a hunch, but I’m guessing he reminds MWP of a taller him.

(via SLAM)

Kobe Bryant: Human Snake

There’s not much to say about this, so I feel like you should hear it straight from the source. Here’s Jordan Crawford explaining the sounds Kobe Bryant makes when he plays, courtesy of the D.C. Sports Bog:

On Kobe Bryant’s noises: “When I first played with Kobe — they call him the Black Mamba — but then he was doing like a little snake sound when he wanted the ball. It was crazy. It was crazy. It’s like tsssss, tsssss. ”Like Fish, Fish, Fisher, tsssss, tssss.” He do that. Everybody tells you he’s gonna do it before you play him — like, ‘Wait till you hear him do this.’ And then he [does] it, and it’s like, what? He’s really a mamba. It sounds like some kind of snake.”

Up until about five minutes ago, I hated Kobe Bryant’s self-prescribed nickname. Now though, I think it’s kind of brilliant. He literally acts like a snake when he’s playing, if only because he gave himself a snake nickname. I always knew Kobe would be a Slytherin, but I’d have never guessed he can speak Parseltongue. Truly amazing.

(via Marcel Mutoni)

Your nose looks like a bell pepper.

Don’t you hate it when some new hotshot comes in to your new job, is better than you at it and won’t even take the bait when you try and get them off their game with a little cutthroat trash talk? We’ve all been there — from librarians to cops to professional basketball players. If we can’t trash talk our colleagues, what’s the point?

Well, that’s what Kobe Bryant thinks anyways. In a really great piece by Jackie MacMullan at ESPN, Kobe laments the change in trash talk culture over the past couple of generations.

“They don’t seem to want to talk any trash,” Kobe shrugged. “I say everything to LeBron. He says nothing back. He just laughs. There’s no banter back and forth. I guess it’s a generational thing. When I first came into the league, the trash talk was downright cutthroat.”

I know we joke around a lot about “I would pay some money for an unedited audio feed about such and such a player,” but I really don’t think you can put a price on hearing all the insults Kobe Bryant hurls at LeBron James during their matchups. It doesn’t take a genius to realize Kobe could come up with some pretty vile stuff, should the situation call for it. He’s not shy about speaking his mind or using profanity to the media, so imagine what he can dream up while on a basketball court.

Better yet — don’t. There’s no need for those disturbing images in your mind. Unless you have LeBron James’ nerves of steel, you probably can’t handle it. It’s probably for the best to just forget this ever happened, unless you want to spend the next six months hiding from your own shadow.