Archive for the ‘Mathematicsized’ Category

ray-mccallum-mathematicsized

This is one of those things that happens by accident. I was just looking at NBA draft pictures, when I stumbled across Kings’ second round draft choice Ray McCallum looking like no body art Matt Barnes, himself a former second round pick who later played for the Kings. At first I thought I was crazy, but then I put Barnes’ tattoos, mustache and goatee on McCallum and then whoa.

ray-mccallum-matt-barnes-arms

And it works the other way too.

matt-barnes-no-tattoos

Barnes’ eyes are a little squintier and he’s got fancier hair, but other than that, if you were to set Matt Barnes to default appearance mode and subtract about a foot of height, you’d pretty much just have Ray McCallum. The more you know.

danny-green-mathematicsized

Sure, you’d have to change the eye color and make them less stonery, but if you take away the Joakim Noah hair from Blake from “Workaholics,” you’re left with a pretty solid Danny Green troll face facsimile. Danny’s probably a better shooter, but I bet the other guys have more fun.

larry-sanders-mathematicsized

Nothing game-related about this. LARRY SANDERS! just looks like he has Dwyane Wade’s smile face on Gilbert Arenas’ head. It’s weird, I know, but I won’t be talked out of thinking this is true. It’s in the eyes and mouth.

Well, at least his knees aren’t the only concerning thing about him. Though I guess you could worry that the increased drag this has on his upper body could create unnecessary torque on his lower body, which would be double bad. Either way, cornrows seem to be the answer. Hopefully Kwame Brown can recommend somebody.

These are the Game of NBA alternate jerseys. Kind of OK though. Just like Game.

I’m not sure how I didn’t notice it until John Schuhmann alerted everyone to Alexey Shved’s FIBA profile picture, but there it is — Alexey Shved is a white George Hill with Adam Morrison’s 2010 hair, no tattoos and a not-at-all-weird cat fetish. I blame the goatee.

I’m not sure if this should make Timberwolves fans more or less excited, but I am sure they’re hoping that it’s just the hair that’s the same as Adam Morrison’s. “Exciting combo guard who is actually just a solid player” seems to fit Hill and Shved pretty well, but those flowing locks could be a horrifying omen.

Nets rookie forward Dennis Horner looks a lot like Chris Rene, the guy who finished third in Simon Cowell’s “X Factor.” That is the point of this post — nothing more, nothing less.

I’m just so proud of myself for seeing the connection.