Archive for the ‘Metta World Peace’ Category

Remember about a year ago, before he had a cool new name, when Metta World Peace made his stand-up comedy debut and the entire world thought, in unison, “This is really great but I wish there were more race and gay jokes?” Of course you do because you thought this exact same thing.

Well lucky for you — for all of us, really — Metta’s about ready to hit the stage again, and this time he’s bringing his best race and gay material. From ESPN:

It was late last week, while practicing his stand-up comedy routine in the shower, that Metta World Peace knew he’d developed some really good race jokes. Gay jokes, too. The type of jokes that could get an NBA player in trouble, but are nevertheless true to the unfiltered nature of the Lakers forward. [...]

“I’m definitely going to roast President Obama,” he says, “and I’m gonna roast the new guys, too: I have a cool joke about the new Lakers rock stars, Dwight Howard and Steve Nash, and about Kobe a little bit. And I have a couple of gay jokes that I’m going to say.”

Wait, Metta … are you sure you wanna go there?

“No, you can tell gay jokes — you just have to be funny,” he counters. “It’s like telling black or white jokes. And I do have a couple of racist jokes — you gotta throw out some racist jokes. There’s a difference between being racist and telling a racist joke. Every comedian does it. There’s no way around it. Gotta talk about your own race, obviously — I’m going to stereotype black people. You gotta stereotype everybody. Females, too.

“Hopefully people like it, and people laugh.”

Sure, yeah. People always like gay and race jokes. Those always go over really well with no repercussions, especially when they are crafted by amateur comedians.

It’s basically impossible to fathom a world where something like this would go horribly wrong and Metta World Peace ends up on a bunch of blogs for taking things a bit too far and then he has to issue an apology to several groups that he has offended but then they don’t think the apology is quite good enough so they pressure David Stern to do something about it which leads to a suspension since Metta World Peace has a bit of a reputation in the league office. I definitely can’t imagine something like that happening. No way.

I mean, if he came up with these race and gay jokes in the shower, then what’s the worst that could happen?

You are not going to believe it, but the Pistons, Knicks and Ron Artest/Metta World Peace show up quite a bit in this video. Total surprise.

And also, you probably really won’t believe how often Hakeem Olajuwon is in this supercut. He seems like the most chill guy ever now, but there he is, just randomly punching opponents in the face. Wonder if you learn that during his tutoring sessions. Feels like you should, if you’re paying that much money.

(via SLAM)

Just when Dwight Howard thought he could step in to the Lakers and be the fun-lovingest, big-smilingest over muscular children’s actor, Metta World Peace has to step in and win the Yo Gabbalympics. Basically treason, as far as I’m concerned.

Don’t be surprised if this turns in to an epic Cold War of one-upmanship the likes of which have never been seen. I’m talking Dwight on “Sesame Street,” followed by Metta being edited in to an old episode of “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood,” and culminating with Dwight taking things a bit too far and starting an actual children’s show that he stars in during the season, completely abandoning his teammates to pursue his true dream of being the world’s biggest children’s entertainer (literally).

The Lakers knew something like this could happen with all those kids show-loving egos bouncing around locker room. Quite the inauspicious start.

(via I Am a GM)

“Some cheeses you eat don’t process at all. Research it. Some cheeses can sit out over night and become razor sharp.”Metta World Peace, somehow passing up an easy sharp cheddar pun

(via SB Nation)