Archive for the ‘Miami Heat’ Category

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Here is what we think about LeBron James’ Game 1 buzzer-beating game-winning hyphen-inducing layup:

Whoa. What a shot. What. A. Shot. This guy is a monster. Why didn’t Frank Vogel have Roy Hibbert in after LeBron had just made a layup at the rim on the Heat’s previous possession because he could easily get to the rim due to a lack of a Pacers rim-protector? That’s weird, I definitely would have left him in. Remember when the biggest debate in basketball was whether or not LeBron is clutch? That was crazy. I like Fun Dip, particularly the red cherry pouch.

Here is what LeBron James thinks of his Game 1 buzzer-beating game-winning hyphen-inducing layup, courtesy of Fox Sports Florida:

“I mean, I made a layup,’’ James said. “It’s not like I made something halfcourt. I made a layup. I’ve been doing that since I was 8 years old.’’

Yeah, well I made a layup before I was eight years old, so who’s a four-time MVP who is guaranteed to be a first ballot Hall of Famer now? Oh, still LeBron James. Seems about right. Never mind.

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Because of weird TV agreements and your dad needing something to watch on Sunday afternoon, the Miami Heat have yet to play Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals despite the fact that their counterparts in the West have already played two games. (Thanks a lot, your dad.) But that doesn’t mean Dwyane Wade isn’t planning ahead.

No, not about a possible Finals opponent, because that would be rude, presumptuous and the kind of thing that gets turned in to bulletin board material. He’s mostly just worried about the fashion aspect of things, which is exactly why he already has his championship round outfits picked out. From Business Insider’s transcription of an ESPN Radio interview with Wade’s stylist, Calyann Barnett:

“Before the playoffs even started we went through all of his looks, straight through the finals,” said Barnett. “And every look is set already…and I already know what he will wear for the next game and the Finals.”

So Dwyane Wade doesn’t even have two fully operational knees, but he’s got at least 14 outfits (seven possible ECF games, seven possible Finals games) picked out so that people will remember he’s a big-time fashionista. Cool. Very cool stuff. Very important to pick out your clothes ahead of time, that way you don’t get caught off guard and accidentally wear pants that are way too short.

Of course, this could get super awkward if the Heat don’t make the Finals, which is basically inconceivable to anyone who has watched basketball this season. But if that does somehow happen, Dwyane Wade’s going to have a bunch of designer clothes set out to wear, but with nowhere to wear them and no desire to, since he’s probably called them his “Finals clothes” when talking about things with his stylist. It’d be a real “All dressed up and no place to go” situation, which might be the worst thing Dwyane Wade could ever imagine.

Oh, and about that bulletin board material stuff — if LeBron James can get mad at Frank Vogel for something that he never really said, then I think it’s only fair that the Pacers get upset by something Dwyane Wade’s stylist said about him already having picked out what he wants to wear in the Finals. Not only is that the kind of silly thing that inevitably gets turned in to a stupid controversy, I can also think of nothing better to describe today’s NBA than a media fight about clothes. Let the beefing begin.

(via Reddit)

This is a really nice ESPN profile on Chris Bosh that us superfans kind of already know — he’s weird, nerdy, silly, reserved and funny — but it is also kind of just eight minutes of Chris Bosh being Chris Bosh, which means it’s eight minutes of Bosh face. Which is to say, you should watch it.

But if you’re too busy for eight minutes of Bosh face for some reason, this should tide you over.

Chris Bosh — good guy, better faces.

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Did you remember that James Jones still played for the Heat?

Maybe you didn’t before the 8:28 he played in garbage time of Wednesday’s Bulls blowout, easily the most playing time he’s seen in this postseason, and more than he got than in all but six games this entire season. (So dire has Jones’ playing situation been that he needed to use valuable team karaoke time to passive-aggressively plead with his boss for more minutes.) And maybe you didn’t even notice that he was in there for those eight-and-a-half minutes, since he went 0-1 with two rebounds and a turnover. But oh yeah, he was out there, earning the $1.5 million he’ll be receiving from Miami this season. And if we see him again for nearly as long this postseason, we’ll know that things either went horribly wrong or horribly right for Miami.

He played for long enough to remind me how much I still hate James Jones. If I was to do a power rankings of the players I hate the most on the Heat, my most-hated professional sports team of my adult life, first would be LeBron (obviously), second would probably be Dwyane Wade, third would be PA announcer Michael Baiamonte, and fourth would probably be James Jones. I don’t think I’m alone in this, either — I feel like most other Heat haters I’ve talked to also reserve a particular rage for James Jones, disproportionate to his actual relevance as a player. My friend who I watched Wednesday’s game with was confused as to the degree of my ranting, but even he agreed that “generally, f— James Jones.” It’s not an uncommon sentiment.

Why the James Jones hate? Hard to say, except that he has a gigantic forehead, is perpetually sneering, and has/had a tendency to hit shots that made you say “Really? James f—ing Jones?” Maybe it’s his name — my 425th ranked of 425 NBA names – so ridiculously innocuous without even being memorably or tellingly so. Maybe it goes back to the second game of the Big Three era — their first win — when he hit six of nine threes in Philadelphia to help drub my Sixers in their season opener, scoring more points than LeBron or Bosh. Maybe it was that time he nearly got into a fight with Evan Turner during the playoffs that year, shoving him during an out-of-bounds play stoppage. I have no shortage of bulls— reasons to hate on James Jones.

But of course, the real reason was probably just this: He was better than any player not named Bosh, Wade or James (well, last-name-named) should have been for that first post-Decision Miami Heat team. Not to say he was all that great — they won’t be retiring his number next to Dan Marino and Michael Jordan at the Triple A anytime soon — but he had a very respectable season for the Heat that year. making 123 of 287 threes (42 percent), even winning the three-point shootout that All-Star Weekend, and leading the league in lowest turnover rate (for the second time in his career, hilariously — guess it’s easy to not turn the ball over when the only reason it ever leaves your hands is to go up as a three). The one comfort I kept for myself amidst the SuperFriends’ assemblage was that they at least wouldn’t have many (or any) half-decent teammates, but James Jones seemed to be evidence that just about any player could reach maximum efficacy, and acceptable role player status, playing next to those three guys.

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Always respect your elders, Mario. Always. Even if they were in “Hoop Dreams.”

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BURN. “In your face, Heat,” says this custom digital billboard that is visible from a major Chicago highway and is always zinging opposing sports teams while just generally being silly. And since I know that I would definitely Photoshop some jokes if I had my own digital billboard that you can see from the highway running behind my crib, I love this. It might not be the greatest billboard joke we’ve ever seen, but I’m of the opinion that any billboard joke is better than no billboard joke.

Not to mention, you have a built-in audience. There’s no one more attentive than a driver who is doing anything they can to distract themselves from the task at hand. Might as well give them a giggle.

(via BullsBlogger)

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LeBron James won another MVP, as is tradition, ergo Nike hooked him up with some special MVP shoes, as is tradition. These bad riders are the LeBron X “What the MVP” edition, his fourth such MVP shoe and easily the craziest thing we’ve seen on his feet. Just look at these things.

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Maybe I am miscounting, but I see 7,500 different colors on these. There are so many colors that if someone asked you what color they were, you might say purple, but you’d probably say, “All of them, I guess.” And you’d kind of be right. It’s like Nike challenged themselves to make the craziest looking version of this shoe that they possibly could — which is basically true for the Swoosh’s long-running “What The” series that started with some Dunks back in 2007 and which has shown up on shoes for Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant, and even some one-off versions of LeBron’s last signature shoe that were just for LeBron and his buds — and succeeded. Even the laces are different colors. Even the lace locks are different colors.

After putting on these wild shoes for his celebration, LeBron couldn’t stop looking at them and went 1-6 in the first half of last night’s Game 1 loss to the Chicago Bulls. He promptly changed in to a more sedate pair of the Nike LeBron X Elite and scored 22 of his 24 points after the switch, leading ESPN’s SportsNation to literally ask fans “Was it the shoes?” that led to LeBron’s excellent second half, to which the fans responded, “Nope.” Smart fans.

The shoes will be hitting retail, but Nike’s website has no details other than that they “will be available in limited quantities at select retailers” and that they’re coming out “soon.” Suffice it to say, these are going to be expensive and hard to get your hands on. But on the plus side, if you do, you’re getting like 40 different shoes out of the deal. That’s a lot of bang for the buck, not to mention two different lace locks.

More shots after the jump.

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