Archive for the ‘Miami Heat’ Category

That right there is Charles Barkley getting his dance on with some old lady…

…and that right there is Ray Allen and Shane Battier doing B.I.G.’s “Hypnotize.”

Both of these videos are from Ray Allen’s 38th birthday party and now I really wish I had a time machine so that I could go back in time to attend this party. Then, since time machine rentals are for a week minimum and I want to get the most bang for my buck, I’d go back to Chris Bosh’s Arabian Nights birthday party — where I would definitely warn him to protect his jewels, because what is time travel without crime fighting? — and take a ride on his camel, Henri. And then I’d take the TM (what I’m calling it at this point, could use a new nickname) back to that wild LeBron party with all the naked chicks and Big Baby Davis, so I could find out what exactly happened. After that, since I’m out of notable Miami Heat parties, I’d probably go see Rony Seikaly DJ for the first time, just to see if people recognized him. I’m not a Heat fan, but this seems like a very good use of my time machine rental.

And hey, if I have any time left over, maybe I’ll go see some boring historical events like the signing of the Magna Carta or when Justin Bieber was born. Might be a fun week.

(via Reddit/NBA Offseason)

It seems way longer ago, but it was only last October when Stephen Jackson let slip that LeBron James had tried his hand at rapping. And while that tidbit sent a jolt down the collective spine of the NBA basketball players trying to rap community, nothing ever came of it besides LeBron getting shouted out by rappers, showing up on stage with rappers or lip-synching before games, WOO!

But now, thanks to Instagram weirdly, we actually get to hear LeBron James rapping. And as you might have guessed, it sounds exactly like LeBron James if he were rapping. And as you might have also guessed, it’s raps about his bros and their various successes over a massively popular Jay-Z and Kanye West song, which is exactly what you’d guess LeBron would want to freestyle over. Lucky for us, the internet was wise enough to link the two up so we don’t have to deal with the two-part drop on the Instas.

Here is probably the part where I’d reference the Biggie “wicked jump shot” lyrics or that familiar “all rappers want to be basketball players, and all basketball players want to be rappers” refrain, but let’s just skip that for now because it’s 2013 and we all realize it takes 30 seconds to make a rap song for an app. Maybe he was inspired by his pal Jay-Z releasing a record on a Samsung, who LeBron also shills for, but it’s just not weird anymore to hear that yet another NBA player is trying his hand at getting his raps on. I mean, if Kevin Durant is doing it, anyone else is a possibility.

As I’ve said every time I’ve watched a Team Flight Brothers video — how bad must a guy be at basketball to be this athletic and still not a highly sought-after NBA prospect? Probably pretty bad. But that’s fine, because former Memphis Tiger and current Miami Heat Summer League invitation-getter D.J. Stephens can jump very high and dunk very easily, which will always be cool. I mean, there are hundreds of guys actually in the NBA, but how many have the highest vertical on record at the draft combine? Just one, and I’ll let you guess who it is.

(via BDL)

“You have a great sense of humor.” — thing Conan O’Brien, talk show host and comedian, said to Chris Bosh, basketball player

(Also, I’m sure Raptors fans will love the line, “Being on a team that actually wins is really fun.” That’s one way to ensure you keep getting booed every time Miami visits Toronto.)


It seems like it happened 50,000 years ago at this point, but LeBron James did hit a series-clinching jumper in Game 7 of the NBA Finals less than a week ago. I seent it with my own eyes. I seent it.

And though it was just a handful of days ago, that’s been more than enough time for LeBron himself to put that 20-footer in to proper historical perspective. From a Point Forward excerpt of a Sports Illustrated piece from Lee Jenkins:

James uncorked 20 shots outside the paint in Game 7, the most since he arrived in South Florida three years ago. He drained nine, including five three-pointers. But with 33 seconds left, Miami was only up by two, and James bounced the ball on the blazing Heat logo at midcourt. He was back in the ring of fire. With the floor expertly spaced by Spoelstra, guard Mario Chalmers darted up from the post to set a screen on Leonard at the left elbow, and James bounded around it. Parker switched onto him, but James planted his left shoulder into Parker’s chest, sending him stumbling backward. Leonard recovered, tossing out a hand to contest, but James did not hesitate. He pulled up from 20 feet, easy as an August afternoon at St. V, with the same result. “I know it wasn’t the magnitude of MJ hitting that shot in ’98, but I definitely thought about him,” James said. “It was an MJ moment.” He paused as a turn of phrase came to mind. “It was an LJ moment.”

At first maybe you’re like, “Yeah total MJ moment, like how he’s famous for all those last-second jumpers that extended leads and not game-winners. Silly LeBron James.” And you know, fair enough. But do remember that Michael Jordan’s last title-winner, the one against the Jazz, came with 5.2 seconds remaining, which means Utah did have a chance to completely negate the now-legendary shot. A game-winner can be a game-winner even if it doesn’t technically 100 percent win the game. It’s complicated, but you know what I mean.

And when you think about it like that, yeah that jumper was an MJ moment. LeBron James’ team needed a basket to win the NBA championship, and LeBron James went and got that basket from a place that could be filmed from multiple camera angles. The only thing that could be more MJ about it is if it were made in to a commercial, which I guarantee will happen sometime in the next two decades.

Now the only thing LeBron James has to do for another MJ moment is to get gypped out of his third straight MVP award, then drop half a hundred on the guy who stole his award in the Finals while leading his team to their third straight title. I’d say this seems ludicrous, but he’s nailed the first two-thirds of the first Bulls three-peat, so why not finish it off?


Once upon a time, LeBron James lost his headband during an NBA Finals game, then went on to lead his team to an incredible come-from-behind victory while putting up huge numbers, sans terry cloth. Then, despite all evidence suggesting the contrary, he brought the band back for the next game, even though it seemed like he’d found the perfect time to create a new on-court look.

As it turns out, there is a reason LeBron wore a headband for Game 7. That reason? Superpowers, of course. Ball Don’t Lie transcribed yesterday’s title celebration:

It was a out-of-body experience for me. If anyone knows me, especially my teammates, [if] my headband comes off in a game, I lose all powers. I can’t dunk no more, I can’t shoot, I can’t dribble. I’m like a newborn baby. I start slobbering and everything.

Oh man, this is a real Samson and Delilah situation (other acceptable comparisons: a reverse of Superman and kryptonite, the entire plot of “The Mask,” the Green Lantern’s power ring and probably 50,000 other comic book backstories). It is pretty amazing that LeBron James was able to play through the tragedy of not wearing a headband for upwards of 14 game minutes. Add this to his growing list of legendary accomplishments: played NBA Finals basketball without a headband. Quite impressive.

This does put to bed, I’d think, the most important remaining question about LeBron James’ career — whether or not he’ll ever ditch the headband. Obviously it makes him feel secure on the court, so it seems like we’re looking at another decade of LeHeadband. Maybe that will change in the future, but for now it sure seems like LeBron is full speed ahead with regards to headbands.

Then again, while his two turnovers in the final minute of Game 6′s fourth quarter would suggest he’s right about losing the ability to dribble when his headband falls off, he dunked literally as he was being deheadbanded. And then he made 50 percent of his shots in his plain-headed state. Which is to say, it is possible for LeBron James to ball out without a headband on. I know it must seem like a daunting task, but it can be done. He should take his time adjusting to this reality, but we have to have faith that a non-headbanded LeBron James is still a realistic possibility. If we can see it, then he can do it. If we just believe it, there’s nothing to it.

Or perhaps you would like to see some legit tumbling sneakers.

I have a few questions about this. One, did all of these people — there seems to be about four to six pairs up there — bring spare shoes just to throw at Mike Miller? Or were these shoes being worn immediately prior to being tossed on stage, and now there are a bunch of Shoeless Joe Jacksons running around Miami? Or was this a setup, since as Mike Miller says, those are “all [his] shoes?” If these shoes do indeed belong to fans, did they get them back? And of course, is there any way to avoid George Bush jokes after something like this happens?

This is just the tip of the thrown shoe iceberg.