Archive for the ‘Minnesota Timberwolves’ Category

In this corner, weighing in at probably 15 lbs. and standing nearly two feet tall … a monkey Dan Gadzuric found while on vacation last summer.

— Timberwolves PR (@Twolves_PR) August 22, 2013

And in this corner, weighing in at around 50 lbs. I’m guessing and standing about knee-height if you’re next to it, Corey Brewer’s pet goat that he’s had since he was a kid.

It’s a classic cute-off, wherein you pick which combination of bro and animal is the cutest. And while it’s hard to argue against a monkey’s sustained and well-established cute factor, I’m going goat here, which won’t surprise anyone who’s followed my internet basketball career since the jump. And yeah, I did have a stuffed Djali from the Disney version of “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” that I used when putting my name in for a table at a restaurant when I was like 12 years old, but I don’t think that makes my opinion any less valid. Goats 4 lyfe.

Leave your opinion in the comments. Just make sure you pick the goat.

(via Seth Rosenthal/BDL)

nate-robinson-baseball

With the dust mostly settled on this offseason’s player movement — and there was a whole lot of it this year — it’s time to take stock of all the fascinating new faces in new places, as well as the more compelling stories of players who will face new challenges while sticking around. Over the course of the next few weeks, Andrew Unterberger will do a team-by-team look at the most interesting players going into next season — one new to the team, and one returning — as we all try to pass the dog days of NBA-less summer, dreaming of hoops-filled months to come. The series continues today with the teams in the Northwest Division: the Nuggets, Timberwolves, Thunder, Blazers and Jazz.

DENVER NUGGETS

Most Interesting New Player: Nate Robinson

I guess? Like the Mavs, the Nuggets added a whole spate of recognizable new players to their roster this offseason, and none of them are even slightly exciting roster adds. Randy Foye? We know pretty well what that dude can and can’t do by now. J.J. Hickson? The Nugs already have one frontcourt energy guy/rebounding machine, and he’s a whole lot more fun to watch than J.J. Hickson. Darrell Arthur? Don’t think there are a lot of NBA fans who watched Denver last year and thought to themselves “fun team, but would it kill them to shoot more 18-foot elbow jumpers?” None of these guys are gonna make the team League Pass must watches, exactly.

That just leaves Nasty Nate, who is at least always fun to watch on a new team — to see the respective fanbases come to terms with his strengths and weaknesses, to see him make funny friend duos with his new teammates (Shrek ‘n Donkey 4EVA!!), to see him get way too many starts when the point guard he’s backing up goes down with injury. It’s hard to see where he fits into this team that already has Ty Lawson (essentially a steadier, less-maddening version of NateRob) and Andre Miller (NateRob’s inverse in just about every conceivable way), but Nate Robinson always manages to make his presence felt by year’s end, and the Pepsi Center crowd should eat him up. He’ll look great in those Denver baby blues, too.

Most Interesting Returning Player: JaVale McGee

This feels like the fourth or fifth consecutive make-or-break year for JaVale, who has still yet to really be made or broken. He shot a career high 58 percent and posted a career high 20.9 PER last year, but proved weirdly unplayable alongside Kenneth Faried and still couldn’t manage to unseat Kousta Koufos as the team’s starting center, averaging his fewest minutes a game (18.1) since 2010. Well, not only is Koufos now gone, but so is head coach George Karl — the latter’s dismissal supposedly coming in part due to his unwillingness to give the high-upside, well-compensated McGee big minutes. It’s never been nower or neverer for old Pierre.

Amazingly, JaVale will still be just 25 years old on opening night, so the belief that McGee has remaining yet-to-be-tapped potential still remains at least slightly justifiable. And for a team that basically went through an across-the-board downgrade (down to the management and front office) in the offseason, getting that kind of level-up in production from their eternal project of a big man might be one of the only ways that the team can stay a contender in a suddenly very crowded West. Even if not, we should be getting a lot more JaVale this season, which you don’t need me to tell you is always a good thing.

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It’s a simple video. Around thirty seconds, like all the “Harlem Shake” variants, divided into the standard pre-and-post-break sections of about fifteen seconds each. Except instead of the video breaking from a single-person freakout (in this case, a gentleman wearing a helmet and a motorcycle helmet and a LeBron James Heat jersey) to a room full of Baauer spazzers, as traditionally happens in the meme, the operation is interrupted by Minnesota Timberwolves mascot Crunch the Wolf, who beats the initial Harlem Shaker with a plastic baseball bat. It’s an easy, relatively cheap joke, and one it’s a little surprising nobody has made up until now.

It’s also one of the best things to happen to the NBA in 2013.

When the Wolves released the video, first during their game against the Heat two nights ago at the Target Center, then to the internet the next morning (with a following tweet that read “You’re Welcome, Internet. #EndTheShake”), the NBA blog community (including TBJ, natch), was quick to name the video the best of the “Harlem Shake” iterations we’d seen, at least from NBA circles, thus far. They may have no idea just how right they all were. As basic a joke as the video was, it contains myriad details and implications that belie the video’s short run-time and single-line gimmick.

Let’s break down the reasons why:

1. Even before Crunch’s entrance, it’s an excellent parody of a “Harlem Shake” video.
Watching it for the first time, the Wolves’ “Harlem Shake” creates the same kind of anxiety that one of those Sears commercials with the fake movies and TV shows does before somebody invariably runs into a refrigerator. Which is to say, that something about it feels off, fake, fabricated, but it’s just plausible enough that you’re not entirely sure if you’re watching a parody or not until the twist occurs. The listless guy dancing in an empty assembly room, it seems very much like the setup to any number of legit “Harlem Shake” vids, but there’s a barely perceptible lag in energy to it — the guy’s just a little too limp in his movements, a little too behind the beat rhythmically. Something’s not right.

When Crunch enters with the baseball bat at the song’s break to lay the video to waste, it’s at once a shock and a relief. Like any decent twist ending, you don’t see it coming, but it still somehow explains everything.

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Easily the best bat-smashing video since “Bat Fight.” Easily.

(via Reddit)

I don’t know which I want more — to hug Ricky Rubio or to have Ricky Rubio hug me. Either way, getting a hug out of the deal, so win-win.

(via CJ Fogler)

I am not going to deny that the cause Ricky Rubio is promoting — increased awareness for sudden cardiac arrest, which is the leading killer among young athletes — is important, but this is still pretty weird. Maybe it’s just because I’ve never saved a human life with an NBA player, but it’s just a little shocking to be fake running right next to Ricky Rubio, then the next thing you know you’re saving some guy’s life. Kind of jarring.

Nonetheless, play along with the interactive “game,” so you can know what it takes to save a life with one of the NBA’s brightest young stars. Not only is it a valuable life skill, it’s also an opportunity for an excellent assist joke.

(via Joe Mande)

Seems accurate

“Everybody loves donuts here, and I eat them too. People mostly drink beer and not stronger drinks, exactly like in The Simpsons.”Alexey Shved, describing America in a nutshell