Oh, I thought this was going to be another polemic against the scourge that is flopping. Carry on.
(via SportsGrid)
Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category
Video: Gary Oldman wants NBA players to stop acting
Posted by Trey Kerby under Movies, Score Video on Jun 21, 2012
Carmelo Anthony and Dwight Howard are going to star in a Chinese virtual reality movie
Posted by Trey Kerby under Movies, New York Knicks, Orlando Magic on Jun 18, 2012
Now that we’re three games in to the NBA Finals, things really start to slow down in the basketball world. With no games to watch four nights out of the week, there’s a lot more time to do non-basketball stuff. This past weekend I watched parts of “Sherlock Holmes” and “Bad Teacher,” which is something I’d never consider during the season and kind of wish I hadn’t done anyways.
Nonetheless, we all have a lot more free time now that there’s only one series to watch. That’s why it’s too bad the new Chinese movie that Carmelo Anthony and Dwight Howard are starring in isn’t out yet. I’d love to waste some time watching that. From SportsGrid’s translation of a Chinese movie rating site:
“The movie … is intended to show a few urban white-collar basketball fans realized the truth of life in basketball the face of temptations. The hero of the film played by Huang Xiaoming is a game tester, testing a new “virtual reality basketball game, this virtual world is not so simple, even accidentally involved in some thrilling adventure.”
So basically, original “Tron” meets “Like Mike,” with a little “Lawnmower Man” and “Thunderstruck” thrown in for good measure. Sounds awesome. All of the Oscars, please. Golden Globes too, while you’re at it.
Alongside Dwight and Carmelo, the soon-to-be-legendary flick also features Scottie Pippen, Magic Johnson, Yi Jianlian and Wang Zhizhi on the big screen, making for a stronger first six than that of either the Magic or Knicks. I’m not entirely sure how we’ll get a chance to see this, since it’s going to be Chinese release. But we definitely need to get our hands on it, because this has the potential to make “Space Jam” and “Just Wright” look like “Hoosiers” and “He Got Game.”
Tony Parker rented out a theater so the Spurs could watch ‘Men in Black 3′
Posted by Trey Kerby under Movies, San Antonio Spurs on May 25, 2012
“Private premier of men in black. Thanks TP. Team bonding.” — Agent S, protecting the Earth from the scum of the universe
How Shaquille O’Neal came to star in ‘Kazaam’
Posted by Trey Kerby under Movies, Shaquille O'Neal on Apr 03, 2012
When my younger sister was in second grade, she joined the Shaq World fan club. It’s exactly what it sounds like — a fan club for everyone’s favorite Magic big man that mailed out pictures, notepads and other cheap memorabilia emblazoned with a diamond Shaq logo. Considering this was 1995, I don’t really know how she joined the fan club (probably via Sports Illustrated for Kids but I can’t be sure) but she definitely did and that has been a running joke for me ever since, literally to the point that I bought her “Kazaam” on DVD for Christmas in 2010.
This is a very roundabout way of bringing up “Kazaam,” since that’s not the kind of thing you can just bring up out of nowhere. You have to give it some grounding, a reason to care about a 16-year-old movie that got 2.5 stars on IMDB. But now that we’re talking about “Kazaam” like a bunch of normal friends who talk about normal movies, let’s talk about how Shaquille O’Neal came to be in this legendary flick.
Better yet, let’s let Shaquille O’Neal talk about how Shaquille O’Neal came to be in this legendary flick. From GQ:
GQ: [You] rapped for a second. You got into films for a second. Everyone remembers Kazaam. When was the last time you watched it?
Shaq: The other day.GQ: Did it hold up to you?
Shaq: I was a medium-level juvenile delinquent from Newark who always dreamed about doing a movie. Someone said, “Hey, here’s $7 million, come in and do this genie movie.” What am I going to say, no? So I did it.
I’m sure it is more complicated than this, but I really like the idea that the entire pitch for Shaq to star in “Kazaam” was “Hey, here’s $7 million, come in and do this genie movie.” That’s a pretty effective little spiel. How do you say no to being paid $7 million to play a rapping genie? It’s impossible. Even a rapping genie could not grant you enough power to say no to such an offer.
There’s a lot of good stuff in this interview — which NBA players would pledge which fraternities, Shaq’s shower strategy, the fact that camera phones have changed the hooking up with groupies game — but I think it’s pretty obvious that the most important part of this piece is that we finally know the backstory to “Kazaam.” The question of “Why would Shaq agree to be in ‘Kazaam?’” has plagued us for a long time, so it’s good that we are able to put that question to bed while simultaneously answering the “Why would Shaq agree to be in ‘Steel?’” question.
Now all we need to do is figure out why he’s obsessed with the Fu-Schnickens and then we’ll be good.
Doug Christie and his wife are making a porno
Posted by Trey Kerby under Movies, Random on Mar 13, 2012
Are you guys ready for the strangest, most unexpected and possibly most disturbing NBA story of 2012? I sure hope so because it’s blockquote time.
VH1’s Basketball Wives: LAstar Jackie Christie, wife of former NBA player Doug Christie, revealed in a radio interview today that she and her hubby would be producing porn.
“I’m producing an adult film, me and my husband Doug. We’re executive producing and stuff,” Jackie told radio host Rickey Smiley on his show.
While she didn’t offer any further details neither Jackie nor Doug would be in front of the camera—all the acting roles would be played by porn stars.
Yep, Doug “I Don’t Look at Other Women” Christie and his wife Jackie “Doug Doesn’t Look at Other Women” Christie are making a porno together. There are some things that don’t make sense in this crazy world of ours, but this might make the least amount of sense.
As the AVN bro who wrote this story asks, “For a guy who admittedly ‘does not look at other women, avoiding dialogue or even eye contact,’ [...] how in the world would he be able to produce a hot adult movie?” A true conundrum. Our generation’s chicken-or-egg, only if the chicken and the egg were covered in various bodily fluids.
I guess we will have to wait until their movie comes out to get the answer? I don’t even know, I’m just guessing the proof will be in the porno pudding. I never dipped in to “No Ordinary Love” or “The Christies Un-Cut,” so I will probably skip this latest entry to the Christies’ oeuvre. But if you want to check it out, go nuts (sorry).
I’d love to hear an in-depth review of the cinematography, sound mixing and casting, which is what I assume the Christies will be handling. It’ll be very interesting to see how Doug is able to put things together without being able to look at the screen or listen to the sound.
(via Andrew Ungvari)
Finally, a scene from ‘Think Like a Man,’ starring NBA players and Kevin Hart
Posted by Trey Kerby under Los Angeles Lakers, Movies, Score Video on Feb 29, 2012
If you watched at least 10 minutes of All-Star Weekend coverage, then you’ve seen the ads for “Think Like a Man,” which is a real movie. So real, in fact, that a scene from this real movie has been put up online to entice potential audiences to spend their actual money to see this — I repeat — real movie.
As you can see, “Think Like a Man” features cameos from your favorite non-essential Lakers from the 2010-11 season. You’ve got some Ron Artest, some Matt Barnes, a little Shannon Brown and a few other bros, plus Lisa Leslie. Not sure why they didn’t work in a Luke Walton angle, but I’m no Martin Scorcese.
Judging from this 2-minute clip, it’s pretty obvious that we’re looking at our generation’s “Just Wright,” a basketball movie that redefines joke-making for hoops fans. I’m not saying it’s imperative that you see this movie, but you might need to if you want to make hilarious jokes with your friends when you see Metta World Peace do something silly on the court. This movie will be a great weapon to have in your back pocket, for those times you need a hilarious zinger to get all the retweets.
Or, I suppose, you could just watch this scene and call it a day. There’s more than enough here to formulate some solid cracks, plus another hour-and-a-half of this might literally drive you insane. Your call. Either way is good by me.
(via SLAM)
Video: Isaiah Thomas is getting his own documentary
Posted by Trey Kerby under Movies, Sacramento Kings, Score Video on Feb 07, 2012
I’m not entirely certain that a backup guard with 23 games of experience needs a full-on documentary, but when it’s teaser is a tiny guy backed by The Weeknd you know the internet is going to love it. Really excited for Nate Robinson’s cameo, since every doc needs a little comic relief.
(via Ziller)
