I know that sounds like a hyper-specific Onion headline, but listen to this zinger from the 1:45 mark of Juicy J’s “Bounce It,” which features both Wale and Trey Songz (no relation):
Bald-headed scallywags, real n—-s salute me
Catch me at that Memphis game, seats saved by Rudy
We all know Wale and Rudy Gay are bros from back in the D.C. area. And we also all know that Rudy Gay is no longer on the Memphis Grizzlies, which means he probably doesn’t have the pull to save Wale seats at the Memphis game, which makes sense considering he didn’t have the pull to save himself a seat at the Memphis game.
But it’s all good though. As it turns out, Wale still has the hookup:
Or Marc Gasol, or Selby doe, that’s plenty dough
OK phew — Wale is still going to be able to sit courtside for the Grizzlies, thanks to his good friend Marc Gasol, who must be thrilled to finally end up in a rap song. At least that is settled, which is good since Josh Selby (another DMV guy like Wale and Rudy) is also not on the Grizzlies any more, as he was traded last season as well.
This is the danger of incessantly making sports references when you rap. Because sometimes, the person you’re rapping about gets traded because they can’t see straight enough to shoot, leaving you to brag about something that doesn’t make sense any more. And even if we go with the single release date (June 25) rather than the “Straight Trippy” album release date (this Tuesday), that’s still nearly five months after Rudy Gay was traded away from the Grizzlies, robbing him of his seat-saving abilities.
I guess if you’re going to rap about someone, make sure they have a no-trade clause.
This is the music video for Wild Ones’ “It’s Real,” and if it’s not the strangest NBA-themed music video you’ll ever see, as the title suggests, then it’s at least the only one you’ve ever seen to feature closeups of both Joel Anthony AND Nenad Krstic. Or at least that’s what I’m guessing. Maybe there’s some backup center-obsessed band out there that I haven’t heard about yet. I doubt it, but it’s possible. Either way, still weird.
(via AV Club)
Great job by Lang Whitaker over at NBA.com’s All Ball blog on this video. All he did was ask a simple question to a bunch of rookies — What would your theme song be? — that somehow ended up with him singing a duet of a 25-year-old song with a New Zealander and also a Canadian crooning an R. Kelly song because they share a name. You know, normal stuff.
Not to mention, we finally found somebody who actually really likes the new Jay-Z record. Who knew?
Now that he’s retired, if Grant Hill and Tamia decide to release an entire record full of pop music duets, I’d be quite happy. Hopefully they’d tackle such gems as Ja Rule and Jennifer Lopez’s “I’m Real” and Ja Rule and Ashanti’s “Always On Time,” while also maybe mixing in Ja Rule and Christina Milian’s “Between Me and You.” I’m not saying it should be all Ja Rule songs, but that would be a pretty smart financial decision. I’m sure TRL would eat that right up.
Look, there are a lot of confusing parts of this story. For one, the First Lady of the United States of America is releasing a hip-hop record, which hasn’t been done since Lady Bird Johnson dropped “Bird On a Wire: The Reckoning” back in 1962. For two, well, just read the first part because it is supremely weird that Michelle Obama is releasing a hip-hop record, even if it is part of her “Let’s Move” campaign and she probably isn’t even rapping on it.
Nonetheless, the tracklist, which is a real thing that exists:
1. “U R What You Eat” f/ Salad Bar (Matisyahu, Ariana Grande, Travis Barker)
2. “Everybody” f/ Jordin Sparks, Doug E. Fresh, Dr. Oz, Ryan Beatty, Hip Hop MD
3. “Let’s Move” f/ Doug E. Fresh, Artie Green, Chauncey Hawkins
4. “Just Believe” featuring Ashanti, Gerry Gunn, Artie Green, Robbie Nova
5. “Veggie Luv” f/ Monifah and J Rome
6. “Hip Hop FEET” f/ DMC and Artie Green
7. “Stronger” f/ Shayna Steele, Jeremy Jordan, Our Time Theater kids, and E-Street Band guitarist Nils Lofgren
8. “Give Myself a Try” f/ Ryan Beatty
9. “Jump Up” f/ Brady Rymer and the Little band that Could
10. “Hip Hop LEAN” f/ Artie Green
11. “Pass the Rock” f/ Iman Shumpert and Artie Green
12. “Good Living” f/ Ashton Jones
13. “Beautiful” f/ Daisy Grant and Artie Green
14. “Change the Game” f/ The Happiness Club, featuring Naledge
15. “Wanna Jump (Let’s Move)” f/ Paul Burch
16. “Mother May I” f/ Amelia Robinson
17. “We Like vegetables” f/ Los Barkers!
18. “Get Up Sit Up” f/ Babi Floyd
19. “One Step Forward” f/ Samite
Growing up, if you’d have told Iman Shumpert that he’d someday be on the same record as Dr. Oz, he probably would have said, “The wizard? I thought he was fake.” But still, this is happening and I don’t really know what sort of explanation I can offer for any of it, except that Iman Shumpert and Michelle Obama both lived in Chicago at some point in their lives. Maybe she caught one of his freestyles, then made a mental note to include him on any hip-hop related projects she may produce. Maybe this is a trade-off thing and Michelle Obama will be singing hooks on Shumpert’s next mixtape. I don’t know. All I know is that it’s happening and that is kind of enough.
Also, I am just going to assume DMC is the rapper and not DeMarcus Cousins, because two mid-tier NBA players on one First Lady rap record is just too unbelievable.
Are you ready for the most August of pseudo NBA stories, the kind of sort-of-about the NBA story that only matters when there is literally nothing else going on in the league? If so, then check out this story about Ja Rule being in jail and watching the Knicks. Yes, that Ja Rule, the one you thought 50 Cent had vanquished from the Earth.
Reports said you had friends up there—other celebrities that were in PC with you.
Absolutely. I was there with [former Tyco International CEO] Dennis Kozlowski, [former New York state comptroller] Alan Hevesi, Larry Salander, the art tycoon. They were all good guys. Me and Alan, he’s a Knicks fan like me, so we watched a lot of Knicks together, never missed a game. We talked politics. The election was going on while I was locked up, Obama and Romney so we would talk a lot about that. Hevesi is a Democrat so we were on the same side [Laughs].
It’s official — the Knicks are the official team of washed-up rappers, disgraced executives and corrupt politicians. It’s officially official and probably the exact kind of demographic the Knicks are aiming for. Because once these guys get out, think of how many hidden millions they have to spend on Knicks merchandise. Baller status.
Not to mention, once you’ve got that orange prison jumpsuit on, you’re just a pair of royal blue shoes away from being in full Knicks regalia. No wonder they’re so popular in there.
P.S. When was the last time you thought about Ja Rule and the way he walked, the way he moved, the way he talked? Feels very early-2000s, so I’m going to go buy some CD-Rs and throwback jerseys.
(via Posting and Toasting)
Between Steve Nash’s haircut, Craig Mack’s “Flava in Ya Ear” and a guy wearing a bandana Deion Sanders-style like it’s no big deal, this is basically a 1994 time capsule. After the break, I’m guessing, were scenes from “The Lion King” and Michael Jordan stopping by to give tips on how to hit a curveball.