Whether it’s due to injuries or playing for teams that have been largely irrelevant for the duration of their careers, Brook and Robin Lopez’s hair doesn’t get enough publicity. Sure, we all know it’s funny and we’ve heard a bajillion Sideshow Bob jokes regarding Robin, but for the most part we’ve just come to consider that part of their oeuvre fairly minor when compared to everything else about them, which is certainly understandable any time you hear them speak. You try competing with those voices for laughs. It’s impossible.
But lucky for us, events have transpired that allow us to enjoy these two dudes’ hair for what it really is: very funny hair. And for that, we have Brook to thank, as he finally got his bird’s nest cut yesterday at a charity event. That’s the picture you see up top, which is just the best. Look how nervous he is. Then afterwards, look how despondent he is to have lost his precious curls.
As a curly-haired bro who understands the patience it takes to finally have a head of hair you’re proud of, I can understand why Brook would look so upset. He’s probably been growing that puff for a while, finally enjoying the fruits of his labor, and then it’s just gone. Sure, it’s for charity and I’m sure he’s happy to have done it, but I bet he’s still pretty sad to see it go. That’s a lot of work on the barber shop floor.
But because this is a Lopez twin, who was presumably talking at some point during this event, anything he said had to have been funny, right? Right.
These photos popped up on the internet recently, claiming to show this year’s No. 1 overall draft pick, Anthony Davis, at a 6-foot-2 middle schooler. And while the tiny, terrible-at-sports charter school he attended is indeed grades 6-12, it’s also just as possible that this is from just before Davis hit a famous growth spurt before his senior year of high school.
And that is the crazy thing. Just looking at this dorky, skinny dude, it’s feasible that these photos could have been snapped any time from seventh grade to junior year. I mean, Davis’ unibrow hadn’t even grown in yet, so we can’t use it for carbon dating. We basically just have to guess how old he is. 12? 16? Your guess is as good as mine.
Nonetheless, very cool Stefan Urquelle/Steve Urkel side-by-side tribute going on right here. Nice to see a Chicago guy paying respect to a Chicago legend.
I guess it is a thing now for rookies to draw their own cards when they come in to the league. It happened in the NFL to mixed results (mixed between bad and terrible) and it happened in the NBA, which is great for us. As you can imagine, things went just as well as you’d expect.
Thanks to Panini, we get a chance to look at all of these guys’ artwork. As I’m sure you would have guessed if I told you Anthony Davis participated in this drawing festival, the world’s most famous unibrow was featured. A lot. Here are two of Davis’ cards.
I know he’s trademarked these two sayings and that he’s known for his unibrow and that the top picture kind of looks like the cover of “The Great Gatsby,” but don’t you think Anthony Davis is in danger of just becoming his unibrow? He’s embraced the look so completely that that’s become his defining characteristic, rather than the fact he’s potentially a franchise-changing center. Very, very weird. You don’t see James Harden reminding everyone he has the best beard in the league every chance he gets. I’m just worried for him, that’s all. (Also, Anthony Davis has no idea how to draw a basketball.)
But if he wants to really brow things up as he comes in to the league, I suppose we should help him. Here are a bunch more unibrow-themed cards he could consider during his rookie campaign.
It’s just so weird to imagine Kobe being at the Olympics, seeing another random dude with a unibrow and being like, “Hey, I need you for a picture really quick.” Shouldn’t he be busy shooting jumpers in a gym or psychologically destroying his opponents with offhand comments? Internet Joking Kobe is a whole new thing to adjust to, and right now, it feels weird.
But to answer his question, I’m going with Other Guy. That is one lush facerpillar and that barely gives him a win over Anthony Davis’ super sleek brow of prey. Hope he trademarked it.
It’s OK if you haven’t thought about Al-Farouq Aminu in a while. In fact, I’d guess the great majority of us haven’t really paid him much attention since that hilarious picture after the Chris Paul trade. But this summer he’s playing alongside his brother, Alade, for Nigeria’s Olympic team and that means he gets a headshot on the Olympics’ official website. And as you can see, it’s amazing.
With the buttoned up shirt and knit hat, he looks like a “Fat Albert” character, but iced out. So I guess like a peripheral Odd Future member or maybe a minor character from Season 4 of “The Wire.” No matter what pop culture reference you want to attach to this, it’s the best Olympic basketball headshot we’ve got, with the possible exceptions of giant Nene and the return of Radhouane Slimane.
Personally, I’m sticking with Aminu because look at it. What a wonderful picture. Feels nice to think about this guy again.
Our last 2012 NBA draft profile is from RaptorBlog editor Joseph Casciaro, who tells us some things about Kentucky’s Anthony Davis.
Anthony Davis – PF – 6’10, 222 lbs. Kentucky
When you win the NBA Draft Lottery in a year when a big man like Anthony Davis is available, you can’t help but dream about the limitless possibilities and future ahead, as I’m sure Hornets management and fans have been doing for the last month. Bigs with the defensive presence of Davis are among the most valuable commodities in basketball. Bigs with the defensive impact and all around potential of Anthony Davis are spoken about in “once in a generation talent” kind of conversations.
So where do we begin?
The best way to describe Davis’ body is long. He’s lanky in a non-awkward kind of way (sorry, Chris Bosh) and he uses that size and length to great advantage on the defensive end, which is more impressive when you consider that he’s only actually been a “big” for a few years (he was a 6-foot-3 guard three or four years ago).
If a ball goes up, whether it’s a tip, an opposing player’s shot, a rebound or an alley-oop, you can almost just assume that Anthony Davis is going to grab it. That’s what you get when you combine great length with natural athleticism and impeccable timing. That timing is best demonstrated on the defensive side of the floor, where the 19-year-old Davis has made watching him defend a thing of beauty, a work of art. He doesn’t so much block or “swat” shots as much as he scoops them, or rather, plucks them from mid-air the way us mere mortals pick apples off a tree.
His shot-blocking should be among the best in the league, if not second to none. His rebounding numbers should be in the double figures early in his career. His help defense and one-on-one defense already look beyond NBA-ready, and he’s defensively versatile enough to guard multiple positions.