Archive for the ‘New Orleans Hornets’ Category

“Guess who we r playing tonight?!”Chris Kaman, who has a freezer full of dead mascot animals just in case he needs to tweet them

Less than a week ago, LeBron James told us to blame all of our personal problems on him. I don’t know if you guys have tried it out, but it works great. Last night, I hopped out of a cab without paying because I left my wallet at home, then told the cabbie I couldn’t pay him. He got super mad, threatened my family and told me he hated me.

I smiled and calmly said, “Blame LeBron James.” The cabbie laughed, we hugged and he lent me his fisherman’s vest to keep warm as I made my way to the door. This system really works.

Don’t believe me? Ask Monty Williams. From Hornets 24/7:

In response to a question about whether there was anything new to report on about Eric Gordon’s knee injury, Hornets coach Monty Williams responded that he did not, and that:

“It is what it is. Blame LeBron James”.

And just like that, all was forgiven. The possibility that Eric Gordon has played his last game of the season, anger that New Orleans fans might have towards Gordon because he’s not Chris Paul and the embarrassment they might feel that the NBA owns their team — gone in an instant, now just another few reasons to hate LeBron James. After all, it’s his fault that Gordon’s ligaments aren’t healing fast enough.

Honestly, I’d like to see more coaches try this. Make a bad substitution? LeBron did it. Team fails to get a shot up in crunch time? Blame LeBron. Flip Saunders might have been able to save his job if this revolutionary method had been developed in time for him to say “JaVale McGee? Beats me. It was LeBron James’ fault.”

As far as I can tell, this is the first public instance of an NBA personality using the Blame LeBron James system. I think it went pretty well. Really hope to see a lot more of it.

When you look back at the 1996 draft, it’s always weird to realize Kobe Bryant went No. 13 to the Charlotte Hornets. For one thing, the Charlotte Hornets don’t exist anymore. For another, Kobe Bryant is such a Mr. Laker that it’s so weird to see him in a Hornets draft hat. Plus, guys like Todd Fuller, Samaki Walker and Lorenzen Wright went before him. He’s one of the best players ever, but he went thirteenth. It’s just odd, even though it made a lot of sense back then that NBA teams would be skeptical of a high school guard.

And skeptical they were. Just check out this exchange Kobe had with then-Clippers GM Elgin Baylor. From the New York Post:

Twice he worked out for Clippers’ GM Elgin Baylor … and coach Bill Fitch. After the second, the two dream weavers invited Bryant to lunch.

“They told me it was the two best workouts they’d ever seen,” he said. “That’s it, I figured, I was going be a Clipper and play in L.A. I was pumped!”

Before Bryant had finished his fantasy, his magic carpet ride crashed. Out of nowhere, Baylor and Fitch flipped the switch.

“Your skill level is off the charts. Your athleticism is exceptional. And your energy and enthusiasm are remarkable,” they gushed. “But we can’t draft you.”

Huh? What! Why not?

“Because people out here won’t think we’re serious if we draft a high school kid at No. 7.”

And this is why the Clippers have always been the Clippers. Passing up on Kobe — not a sure thing by any means, but they still obviously know he had potential coming out the face — to take Lorenzen Wright is the kind of classic Clippers whoopsies that has always made them Los Angeles’ second-best team. Though to be fair, they did eventually trade Lorenzen Wright for Quentin Richardson AND Chris Wilcox (who turned in to Vladimir Radmanovic) so everything worked out just fine.

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As you’re reading this, the very powerful seafood lobby is pursuing a bid to purchase naming rights for New Orleans Arena, home to your New Orleans Hornets. The Louisiana Seafood Promotion and Marketing Board is thinking of investing some of the $30 million that they received after BP spilled all that oil in their fisheries.

That’s right — we might be seeing our very first food-themed arena in the NBA, as long as you don’t count the Salt Palace and Taco(ma) Dome. I’m sure the owners of the Pepsi Center are thrilled for this possibility, since they’ve been trying to quench other arenas’ thirst to no avail.

We need to be prepared. Here are some suggestions, should the Louisiana Seafood Promotion and Marketing Board succeed in their quest:

  • Red Lob-city
  • The Clam
  • N.O.’s Crab Shack
  • Gator Bowl
  • The Bait Shop
  • Shrimp n’ ‘Nets Pavilion
  • The Bubba Gump Basketball Company
  • Alligator Arena
  • Reel Club
  • Enchantment Under the CBA
  • The Swamp
  • Crabsketball Center
  • Captain’s Quarters
  • Oyster Bed
  • New Orleans Arena and Fishery
  • Louisiana Seafood Stadium and Basketballery
  • The Tackle Box
  • Barataria Bay Basketball Building
  • Hush Puppies Place
  • Bass-ketball Court

There are a lot of options here. I just want the Louisiana Seafood Promotion and Marketing Board to know what they’re getting in to so they can make the right choice. If you have any ideas, feel free to leave them in the comments.

This Monday through Friday, I’m going to give my season predictions in a countdown from worst to first. The format will be three teams per post, one post in the morning and one in the afternoon. Whichever team you’re a fan of, there’s a good chance you’ll feel like I’m disrespecting them. I understand this, and I promise you I won’t take your insults personally.

24. New Orleans Hornets
Can an NBA franchise build around Eric Gordon? That question won’t be answered this season, but a lot of people will begin to think so when he finishes in or near the top five in scoring. This is his team, for better or worse, and while he might not be thrilled about his new situation, he’ll have the opportunity to rack up some impressive numbers and possibly even earn himself a max contract in the summer.

The rest of the roster is likely to be less than the sum of its parts, and I’ll be surprised if Emeka Okafor is still a Hornet past the trade deadline. This is a team adrift, and they’re even less likely to contend for a playoff spot than they are to receive any kind of worthwhile fan support. If they extend Gordon after the season, they’ll be able to complement him with a pair of top 10 picks in a talent-heavy draft. Hopefully, they’ll attract a suitable buyer before next season so they can develop a real identity, whether it’s in New Orleans or elsewhere.

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For the rest of eternity, no matter if the Clippers are good or bad, he re-signs or jets, destroys his knees or plays 10 more good years, the trade between the Clips and the Hornets will always be known as “the Chris Paul trade.” That’s just how it works when one of the best players in the league gets traded. All those other players, the ones who actually make deals like this possible, get pushed to the wayside, like a bunch of empty edamame pods.

But that’s how it goes for these guys. They’re just fillers, even if you are excited for their potential. They get it though. Just check this action from Chris Kaman’s interview with HoopsWorld:

I think the Clippers made a good deal, I mean anytime you can get a player like Chris Paul?  I think pretty much any player is worth the trade in that situation.

Yep. Even Chris Kaman — one-time All-Star and guy making nearly $13 million this season — is like, “Yeah, I’d trade me for Chris Paul too.” That’s how good CP3 is. So good that dudes who have started more than 400 games realize they’re expendable when a once-in-a-lifetime talent comes on the market.

This is the way to go if you’re going to be traded for a superstar. Chris Kaman seems like he’s dealing pretty well with changing locales after eight years playing with the team that drafted him. Sure, that’s probably because the alligator hunting in N’awlins is unparalleled, but still.

(via NBA Offseason)

With the Chris Paul trade situation looming over their heads, the New Orleans Hornets had to know things were going to be a little different at yesterday’s Media Day session. CP3 was excused from participating — probably because David Stern knew he was going to be traded later that day — and that just gave the remaining New Orleansians to really cut loose and go crazy in their photo shoots.

And cut loose they did. Just look at this guy.

That’s Cardell Johnson. He doesn’t even show up on a Google search until the third page of results, but he’s going to be playing for the Hornets in their first exhibition game this Friday. Great hair though.

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