Archive for the ‘Olympics’ Category

Cannot get enough of these videos right now. So dumb but so funny. This one takes the shake cake.

(via Leslie Kam)

As Tas Melas will surely tell you, the Olympics are about the pureness of sport and the integrity of competition (and also performance enhancing drugs and various cheating scandals). It’s a bunch of athletes who have devoted their lives to being able to represent their countries, finally getting the chance to represent their country. It’s pretty amazing.

But sometimes, one basketball player punches another player in the nuts because they’re flopping and tanking, so no one really knows how to feel. Not only is a nut punch pretty brutal in any context, doing so at the pinnacle of sports seems even worse. But according to puncher of nuts Nicolas Batum, some people thought it was awesome. From Blazersedge:

“I won’t say any names but Spanish people and Spanish media were truly mad at me on Twitter,” Batum acknowledged. “I got some bad things, trust me. [But] people all around the world, on Twitter, or media, or people, even coaches and players from the other teams, thanked me.”

Why? For upholding the Olympics spirit? For getting in a good lick on Navarro? Because Spain had it coming?

“I won’t say what they told me, but trust me a lot of people thanked me,” he repeated. “I won’t say, but they just thanked me. Trust me, a lot, a lot of people. Not especially from France but from everywhere. I won’t say that’s good. I’m not happy or glad about it.”

So basically, “I’m not proud I punched Juan Carlos Navarro in the junk, but people do think it was pretty great,” which is a very weird version of a humblebrag. I didn’t know it was possible to be boastful and ashamed at the same time, but here we are.

Besides there’s nothing else that Batum really needs to worry about since other Spanish players are laughing at it too.

With the incident now in the past, Batum told reporters he is able to laugh about it with Victor Claver, a member of the Spanish national team who also happens to be his teammate on the Blazers.

“The first time playing against him I was 13 or 14 years old,” Batum said of Claver. “I’ve known him a long time. A good friend. Yeah we laugh about it. I talked to him. He said, ‘yeah, I can understand.’”

Haha. I love how Victor Claver is like, “Yeah man, I’ve wanted to punch him in the balls too.” Maybe Juan Carlos Navarro is really annoying and everyone always wants to hit him in the genitals. I don’t know, but that seems like it might be a legitimate possibility, based solely on him getting punched in the Dickens and having a teammate laugh about it and say “I can understand.” Must be that beard he grew or how he’s always bragging about leading the Grizzlies in three-point shooting that one season he was in the NBA.

All that being said, I still stand firm by my belief that you shouldn’t punch other people in the nuts. Maybe I’m old-school, but that’s just how I feel.

Good news, fans of the Dream Team, Chicago Bulls, hyper versatile small forwards who redefined the possibilities of their position and video games that are maybe just a little bit too hard for a normal person who isn’t completely devoted to gaming — Scottie Pippen is going to be in NBA 2K13, along with the rest of the 1992 United States Olympic basketball team.

Want proof, skeptic? Fine. From 2K Sports’ Twitter feedski:

And then there were 12… Are you ready for the FULL ’92 Dream Team?

Yes.

Also, here’s more proof, courtesy of Scottie’s wife on Twitter, because of 2012:

Scottie is back – check him out on the @2KSports for #NBA2K13 Dream Team!

Good stuff. Now we can finally answer the age old question of whether or not the Dream Team can beat the Charlotte Bobcats, which is what I am pretty sure everyone on the internet has been asking for the past few months. I’m guessing yes, now that they have a lockdown perimeter defender to check Gerald Henderson.

Please leave your opinions in the comments.

Here’s something cool — the 1992 United States Olympic basketball team, commonly referred to as “The Dream Team” or “The Best Team Ever Assembled” or “You Know Who I’m Talking About,” will be a playable team in this year’s edition of the NBA 2K franchise.

Here’s something not quite as cool — in the picture you see above, which was tweeted today by 2K Sports, there is no Scottie Pippen. Christian Laettner is there, of course, and Clyde Drexler (?) is standing right in front, ahead of even Michael Jordan, but there is no Scottie Pippen.

Word on the street is that Pippen didn’t agree to a deal with 2K Sports, which therefore precludes him being in the game. Considering he was in last year’s iteration of the franchise, this is a huge bummer. Not only is Pippen one of the 50 greatest players of all-time and one of my favorite players to ever play for my favorite team, he was also a guy Chuck Daly considered integral to the Dream Team. Now how are we going to destroy virtual Toni Kukoc? (No, the 1992 Croatian Olympic basketball team is not in the game, weirdo.)

That bad part of the news aside, how great is this? The answer is very great, especially because this year’s Olympic team is also going to be in the game, which means we can finally answer the “who would win?” question once and for all with no debate from anyone because video games are the truest test of competition. Joking, of course, but that is definitely what everyone is going to do. Just like everyone is going to try to make Christian Laettner the leading scorer every time they play, because haha.

So yeah, no Scottie Pippen, but still really awesome. The game comes out October 2, which gives you just under a month to play as many games as possible before the NBA season starts. Can’t wait.

Neighbor 1: Did you hear we won gold in basketball?

Neighbor 2: Oh really? That’s cool. Doesn’t that guy down the street play basketball?

Neighbor 1: Yeah! You’re right. We should do something for him.

Neighbor 2: Totally.

Neighbor 1: But what? What are we going to be able to do for a millionaire athlete?

Neighbor 2: I dunno. Maybe like a sign or something? We’ve got a really nice printer from when I was running the scrapbooking club. Do you remember that?

Neighbor 1: Of course. So much fun. How come we don’t do that any more?

Neighbor 2: It just got be such a hassle always having to go to Hobby Lobby to find those little cutout starbursts and decorations. And we got a new digital camera, so I just put everything on Facebook now anyways.

Neighbor 1: Well, that makes sense.

Neighbor 2: Doesn’t it? Anyways, you’ve got that nice printer and I have some extra long paper that Hank bought in storage somewhere. I guess we could use that.

Neighbor 1: Good idea. What should it say though?

Neighbor 2: Oh … I don’t know. Congratulations?

Neighbor 1: Yeah, I guess. Maybe like “Thank you?’

Neighbor 2: I like that. I like that a lot. Then he knows how much we appreciate him being in the neighborhood and doing something for his country.

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I don’t know what’s more messed up about this picture — that it immediately makes me think of the hands twins episode of “Friends” or that Kobe Bryant actually posted it on his own Facebook page with the caption “Battle of the unibrow!!! Who wins???” This is like your dad getting Facebook and making NBA memes on it, only if your dad had five NBA titles and two gold medals.

It’s just so weird to imagine Kobe being at the Olympics, seeing another random dude with a unibrow and being like, “Hey, I need you for a picture really quick.” Shouldn’t he be busy shooting jumpers in a gym or psychologically destroying his opponents with offhand comments? Internet Joking Kobe is a whole new thing to adjust to, and right now, it feels weird.

But to answer his question, I’m going with Other Guy. That is one lush facerpillar and that barely gives him a win over Anthony Davis’ super sleek brow of prey. Hope he trademarked it.

In the shocker of the Olympics, Team USA won the gold medal in men’s basketball. In related news, one clause of that sentence is completely false. You figure it out, and while you are, I’ll proceed to tell you that since Team USA did win the gold, now is the time for you to get your Meme Team-related paraphernalia. The best of it is what you’ll see in this post, which is fairly amazing since both of them are derived from cartoons and we’re not 12 any more.

Nonetheless, that’s the case, so let’s start with that t-shirt you see up top. Since all 12 players and bekhakied coach Mike Krzyzewski all have Nike deals, it comes from Nike, and it’s available for $29.95. And if you’re a child of the 1990s, you love it. I’m not sure I think people are wanting a shirt with all these huge basketball superstars to have Coach K in the front, but it’s still pretty awesome. I had every one of these for the Bulls titles and these kind of things are hard for me to pass up. You’ve done it again, Nike.

The other cartoonski product is after the jump.

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