Archive for the ‘Orlando Magic’ Category

You guys don’t believe in “basketball gods” do you? Like a real-life, imaginary set of beings that control the outcome of basketball games and what happens on the court? You guys aren’t in to that, are you? Me neither.

J.J. Redick though, he’s all-in on the basketball gods thing. And he thinks they are so furious with the Magic that they let the Raptors hit their first buzzer-beating game-winner in six years. From the AP:

”I just think the basketball gods are against us right now,” guard J.J. Redick said. ”They’ve turned their backs on us. We need to get back in their good graces. Tonight was a first step, if a loss can be a step in the right direction, because we competed the whole game.”

Like I said, I’m not buying the whole basketball gods thing. But if I did, it seems pretty obvious to me that they would turn their backs on the Magic for a few reasons. These include, but are not limited to:

  • Being named “Magic,” which is devil work.
  • Firing basketball evangelist Stan Van Gundy to appease basketball agnostic Dwight Howard.
  • Letting Hedo Turkoglu eat all that pizza before games.
  • Never signing God Shammgod when they had the chance.
  • Never signing Priest Lauderdale when they had the chance.
  • Drafting Fran Vasquez that one time.

As you can see, there are a few serious offenses that could have angered the basketball gods that don’t exist. To remedy this, it’s pretty obvious that they’ll need to make a sacrifice. Personally, I’d offer up Josh McRoberts but it’s up to them. Quite a few expendable pieces there in Orlando, so at least they’ll have options.

Sometimes a video can be funny and life-affirming at the same time. For instance, this one, which makes you laugh but also reassures you that everything that you thought happened in a locker room where Glen Davis is the biggest star — trying to find sandwiches, lots of jokes, a complete and total dismissal of the entire fruit food group — does indeed happen. It’s just nice to know that you’re not crazy and that some things are exactly what they seem.

Pretty much the only think Jameeroquai didn’t do in those final seven seconds is actually throw down the buzzer-beating dunk. Considering he’s 3-foot-7, I think we can let that slide.

I’m not going to lie to you, Chris Duhon’s explanation for his travel dance really isn’t that great. He basically just started doing it when he was a referee at a camp and that’s about it. Cool explanation, Mr. Explanations.

Nonetheless, it’s worth watching for two reasons: 1) you get to see Chris Duhon do the dance again and 2) it allows us all a chance to relive the original.

Still good. Still really good.

(via Reddit)

Do not adjust your monitors. Everything is working fine. This “fast” break just looks like it’s in slow motion.

Your processors are processing, your graphics card is still firing, all of your connectors are connected — cancel your Genius Bar appointment because it’s all good. Big Baby is just that slow.

“I’m a great guy. I look up to myself.”Jameer Nelson, talking about how great Jameer Nelson is

There once was a man named DeQuan
Who hooped with a man named E’Twaun
In Orlando they stayed
On the Magic they played
A team they both started on

In the Summer of Twelve, to the Magic they came
Both being unique of first name
Dwight Howard was gone
But there were the “Awns”
Hoping to garner acclaim

‘Twas the Suns against whom they debuted
Sporting the Magic’s white, black and blue
A win for the road
Some promise they showed
Though DeQuan’s points were just two

Hope still remains, that their names shall live on
Like before them, guys like LeBron and MarShon
To make them feel loved
Like a gentle peace dove
The Magic added Gustavo Ayon