Archive for the ‘Ostentatious Displays of Wealth’ Category

Oh, I get it — Lapdance Tuesday is today, so Make It Rain Monday was last night. The Wizards have more theme days than a high school homecoming week.

(via DC Sports Bog)

baron-davis-drew-league

First this, from rapper The Game last Wednesday:

So #MoneyGang plays #LAUNFD this Sunday in #TheDrew at 12:15pm & @baron_davis just called me & told me he wanna put 50k on it…. BET N—A

Just to clarify through the very high hashtag to words ratio, Baron Davis runs a Drew League team called LAUNFD and The Game runs another one called Money Gang, so they agreed to bet $50,000 on the outcome of a game betwixt the two, a game that took place yesterday. (Assuming this bet was actually happening, which I am, since no one wants to back out on such a public wager.)

Which makes this tweet, courtesy of the Drew League’s official account, quite relevant:

Final: Money Gang defeats LAUNFD 92-90. @KDTrey5 misses the game winning three-pointer. #TheDrew

So basically, Kevin Durant cost Baron Davis $50,000. Guess they’re even for those months of lost lockout income when Baron was a lumberjack negotiator. Seems fair enough.

Then again, Kevin’s in the middle of a max contract with another decade of career ahead of him, and Baron hasn’t worked for a year, so maybe KD can pick this one up. Caring counts.

benoit-benjamin-post

Basically the only thing I remember about Benoit Benjamin is that he is not David Benoit, and even that took a lot of looking at Skyboxes and Upper Decks when I was a kid. Other than that, pretty much a clean slate, Benoit Benjamin-wise.

But here is something I wish I would have known about Benoit Benjamin while he was still playing. From a 2002 Sports Illustrated article on NBA posses:

What some other posse members do, however, is a mystery. When Benoit Benjamin, that notorious flake, was signed by the Vancouver Grizzlies in 1995, he arrived for a media session in a white limousine filled with friends. One wore a jacket emblazoned with the logos of every team for which Benjamin had played. The man introduced himself to Steve Frost, Vancouver’s p.r. director, as “the CEO” and handed Frost a business card that read simply: CEO. “CEO of what?” Frost asked.

“Benoit Benjamin Inc.,” the man responded. That was the last Frost saw of him. Thirteen games later Benjamin was traded to the Milwaukee Bucks, and one can only assume that the CEO added another logo to his jacket.

What do you think stock in “Benoit Benjamin Inc.” is worth these days? I’m not Mr. Financier, but would BBI stocks even be penny stocks? Do they have something lower than a penny stock, like maybe a button stock? If you tried to trade in your shares of BBI, would they just give you a bag of dog feces in return? There are a lot of financially-based joke questions to ask about this.

Another question I have — what happened to that Benoit Benjamin logo jacket? I’d throw an eBay bid on that bad rider for sure. Let me know.

(via Andrew Ungvari)

Yeah, well I downloaded a DJ app for my iPhone and occasionally try to figure it out with varying degrees of success before I got to bed, so pretty much the same thing. LeBron James and I are just living the life.

(via Dime)

marc-and-pau-gasol-yachting

I know we are basically five seconds in to the offseason, but these pictures of the Gasols yachting in Spain are already guaranteed to be my favorite of the summer. Just look at these guys — you can’t even tell which one of them plays with Zach Randolph and which one of them is located in the most image conscious market on Earth. They’re great, mostly because they look like a bare bones re-enactment of the “Big Pimpin’” video.

And it gets better, because here is Pau Gasol’s butt crack.

marc-pau-yacht-butt-crack

Now you’ve seen that and you can never again say you’ve never seen Pau Gasol’s butt crack. Congratulations? Sorry? I’m not sure what to say. (Also, it looks like Marc is wearing soaking wet white socks and a pair of basketball shorts while getting his yacht on, which is an LOL for sure.)

Read the rest of this entry »

not-michael-beasleys-purses

Remember when we found out over the summer that Michael Beasley had pretty much just split when he signed with the Suns, leaving his house in Minneapolis to be sorted through by an estate sale company? Remember how that was really weird and you couldn’t help thinking, “Why does Michael Beasley have so many women’s purses?” It was a bizarre time for everyone.

Especially Michael Beasley, it turns out. He says the purses aren’t his and that you should shut up about that because it’s hurting his street cred. From the Star Tribune:

Beasley sold some of his belongings last summer in an estate sale at the Orono home he rented during his two seasons in Minnesota. It made news nationally for its eclectic mix of items, ranging from giant glass grapes to a floral headboard to bunny-shaped salt-and-pepper shakers.

“A lot of that stuff wasn’t mine, like purses and earrings and stuff,” he said, referring to a company he hired for the sale that brought other items into the house. “That kind of messed up my street cred. I’m a gangster on the street. I had some stuff that wouldn’t fit into my house here, so we just sold it. A lot of the furniture was mine. The dresses and purses? Not mine.”

Oh sure, just your classic “Those dresses and purses aren’t mine because I’m such a gangster” defense. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times. A likely story.

Seriously, haha at this entire situation. I can’t even tell if Michael Beasley is joking or not. On one hand, he could be in on thinking it’s hilarious that there was all that weird stuff at his house and be kidding around about his street cred. On the other hand, it’d be pretty easy to convince someone that Michael Beasley is actually mad that everyone thinks he was selling earrings at his estate sale. Both of these scenarios seem 100 percent plausible.

But I guess we should take his word for it, so as far as I’m concerned, all those purses that showed up to be sold at Michael Beasley’s estate sale in Michael Beasley’s home didn’t belong to Michael Beasley. I’m still convinced he’s the one that bought the giant glass grapes though.

Marcin Gortat used to be a valuable member of an NBA Finals team, playing backup center for the Orlando Magic that one time they got beat by the Lakers. Then he was traded to the Suns, who featured one of the greatest point guards in the history of basketball. It was a nice couple of years for the Polish Hammer.

Nowadays, he’s still a Sun, only now he’s playing with guys like Goran Dragic, Luis Scola and Michael Beasley, all fine players but no Hall of Famers. But he’s fine with that. Really. From AZCentral Sports:

“That’s business,” Gortat said. “ I learned that. And you know what? I have a sweet home in Phoenix. I’m feeling good out there, trust me. Biltmore. It’s just great. I live in the building with (Sen.) John McCain. I’ve got great teammates. I’ve got a sweet spot on the team. I’ve got a great mentor in Jermaine O’Neal. What else do you want to have? I’m in a great city.”

Yeah, like, Phoenix is totally cool, maaaaan. All the shots he wants, a great training staff, nice weather, there’s some botanical gardens, Jermaine O’Neal is there to talk about the struggles of balding big men. It’s pretty chill.

I mean, sure, maybe Marcin Gortat would like to win some more games or make the playoffs again, but for now he seems content to just vibe out with John McCain and maybe grab some ‘za at Pizzeria Bianco. There could be worse things in life than playing basketball in Phoenix. Just get him a bowling shirt and let him kick it Fieri style, because between the sweet house and the sweet spot on the team, things are looking pretty sweet for Marcin Gortat.

(via Zach Lowe)