Archive for the ‘Philadelphia 76ers’ Category

Evidence for:

  • He looks like he is in costume.
  • Wearing a Ferrari jacket could be a botched Joey Tribbiani reference.
  • This is in Madrid and maybe it’s Halloween there.
  • Might be cos-playing a bizarre “Dancing with the Stars” fantasy, and who are we to judge?

Evidence against:

  • Kind of just seems like a guy dancing on stage even though he’s not that good at dancing.
  • Really loves Ferrari, which explains why he’d think such a jacket is necessary, even if it’s horribly dated.
  • Who brings costumes on vacations that aren’t to Comic-Con?
  • I’m pretty sure it’s not Halloween in Madrid.

Verdict: Just a guy dancing on knees that were surgically repaired six weeks ago. Too complicated to be a costume.

nick-young-kind-of-hair

Just a day after we found out that Nick Young has a mullet, we now find out whether or not it’s really a mullet. I know that sounds confusing, but some people will call whatever that is a “bump,” or a “patch,” or a “ducktail.” So just for clarification, here is some clarification. From the 700 Level:

Asked what the new ‘do was called, Swaggy got creative.

“It’s the Shaggy P,” he said.

Fellow strange-hair-wearer Spencer Hawes weighed in with a few thoughts of his own.

“It’s the black mullet, the bullet,” Hawes joked.

[...]

We pushed Swaggy for clarification. Is the Shaggy P. really a mullet?

“Kind of,” he said with a smile.

Well that clears up absolutely nothing. It’s not a “bullet” because it’s not a bullet and it’s only “kind of” a mullet. I guess we will just have to call it “the Shaggy P” because rhyming is great and there aren’t really any other options.

I’ll accept “Kanye mullet” or “Billy Ocean head” as well.

nick-young-mullet

Look, I like “808s & Heartbreak” as much as the next guy, but come on. A mullet? In 2013? Even if it’s a fashion mullet, it’s still a mullet and it’s still 2013.

But whatever. If Nick Young says, “It’s time for a Chang” then I guess it’s time for a Chang. It’s the internet and we’re all “Community” fans, so OK. Let’s get on board with this mullet, you guys.

Just kidding. Still a mullet.

andrew-bynum-blackout

The Sixers’ season hit its absolute nadir this Tuesday, with the team’s double-digit home loss to the arguably league-worst (and almost certainly league-least-talented) Orlando Magic, which was followed by 11 minutes of Doug Collins laying his team to waste while wearing the grin of a man desperately trying to disassociate himself from his situation. The press conference was severe enough that we got “The Sixers are really bad and it’s actually kinda your fault Doug Collins” type columns from both Grantland and ESPN proper, and just about every Sixers writer in the country raced to their Twitter account to be the first to vehemently agree.

To make matters worse, the Sixers played on national TV last night. Every NBA season, there’s one or two teams whose over-ambitious preseason projection gets them an uncomfortable number of nationally televised games, and this year, it appears to be the Sixers, who lost to the Bulls last night in a 93-82 loss that was far more embarrassing than the final score would indicate. A sampling of representative Sixer blogger tweets:

We’re on TNT against the Celtics again next week, by the way.

So where was Bynum through all of this? Well, if you have the answer to that, please do let Coach Collins and GM Tony DiLeo know, since they don’t seem to have a clue. Bynum was supposed to talk to the press before the Magic game, but he never materialized, turning out to never even have been in the building. Or maybe he was. Or maybe there is no Bynum. Or maybe there was no building? Asked about Bynum’s absence in his now-infamous postgame presser, Collins gave an incredulous, “Am I My Bynum’s Keeper?” type response, as if you were asking him about one of his grown sons that he’d long since stopped attempting to answer for. My guess is that any questions Collins is asked about Bynum for the rest of the season will be answered with a frustrated, mildly accusatory, “You’ll have to ask him that.”

It’s hard to get too mad at Collins for getting publicly flustered at the Andrew Bynum experience, since it’s all pretty mild compared to what we’ve all gone through personally as fans. It’s getting late early in this here NBA season, and though the Sixers have long since said bye-bye to the prospect of postseason relevance, it’s not too late for Bynum to throw us a late-season bone — potentially even a parting gift — by suiting up and playing for 10-15 games, giving us the slightest glimpse of what could have been. And then once you consider the possibility of that, the wheels start turning, and you think of Bynum playing alongside a still potential-laden Sixers core, and with a fairly decent draft pick to boot earned in the process … maybe it doesn’t have to be a completely lost season?

Read the rest of this entry »

andrew-bynum-half-hair-costume

Evidence for:

  • He looks like he is in costume.
  • Only half of his hair is braided, which seems aerodynamically nonsensical.
  • This could be the beginning of a Two-Face costume from the Tommy Lee Jones era.
  • Considering he hasn’t yet played a game for the Sixers, you’d think he’d have enough time to let all of his hair down.

Evidence against:

  • Has had his hair braided before, so it makes sense he’d have some remnants.
  • Might have been thinking, “Cornrows are kinda cool” but couldn’t really talk himself in to them.
  • Left side of head could have just been super itchy.
  • It’s my birthday and this is Andrew Bynum’s very weird idea of a present.

Verdict: Worst case of bedhead ever. Not a costume.

(via Jordan Raanan)

Evidence for:

  • He looks like he is in costume.
  • Is wearing cornrows in 2013, which seems a bit gauche.
  • Pretty sure Allen Iverson had these braids when he played in Philly, so it might be a tribute of some sort.
  • Really no reason to wear a bracelet and earrings like that to a basketball game, unless you’re going for the full Iverson.

Evidence against:

  • Had his hair braided earlier this season for some reason.
  • If Michael Beasley is still doing it, it must be super cool.
  • Hair that long can get unruly, so he has to do something.
  • Pretty normal shirt and suit, actually.

Verdict: Trying to bring the early 2000s back, not working.

(via Fosketmatics48)

Here is a story perfectly tailored to this website’s preferences. It involves Nick Young being Nick Young, Andrew Bynum’s hair and a generally silly vibe — basically, it’s perfect.

From the Washington Post:

Young tried to grow out his hair to compete with teammate and all-star center Andrew Bynum, whose awkward afro has garnered headlines since his brittle knees have kept him sidelined all season. Eventually, Young had to relent.

“Aw, man. Ain’t no competing with that. Have you seen that? He got me,” Young said. “I tried but he started doing some…I don’t know what he been doing. But that’s Andrew. That’s how he’s been all year.”

All this time I thought Nick Young was growing a nouveau Jheri curl because he wanted to be Michael Jackson circa “Thriller,” but it turns out he had entered himself in to an Afro-growing contest with Andrew Bynum. I thought the MJ thing was perfect, but this is even better. Especially since it’s not entirely clear if Bynum even knew he was part of the contest. (Honestly, I hope he wasn’t and that Nick Young was competing because he couldn’t live with having the second-biggest hair on his team.)

It’s just too bad that Nick Young didn’t stick with it. It’s been a while since we’ve seen two gigantic haircuts on the court at the same time, and with Bynum supposedly returning soon, we could have seen something really special. I don’t know that he’d ever be able to touch Bynum for hairstyle versatility, cartoon character likeness or looking like he’s in a costumeness, but it would have been fun to watch him try. RIP Nick Young’s kinda Afro.