Archive for the ‘Phoenix Suns’ Category

You never know when you are going to end up at a concert (UGH) where Phoenix Suns point guards both old and new show up (UGH). That’s why it’s a good idea (UGH) to always have a rap about those guys prepared (UGH), unless you fancy yourself a freestyler like this guy. In fact, it’s not a bad idea (UGH) to do so for every NBA team (UGH), just in case. Better safe (UGH) than sorry (UGH).

P.S. Steve Nash is bad at beat-boxing.

(via Beyond the Buzzer)

I love watching these kind of videos, just to see professional athletes squirm because they know there’s a pretty solid chance they’re about to be embarrassed in front of a bunch of fans who probably also root for the team they play for. It’s so funny to see a guy like Goran Dragic get nervous because he doesn’t want to mess up a 60-foot toss in from of a bunch of Phoenix crazies.

Pretty nice toss though, even if he does throw a baseball like Uncle Rico throws a football.

(via Hooped Up)

“That’s like transferring from Duke and going to Carolina.”Grant Hill, on Steve Nash leaving the Suns to join the Lakers (the Clippers are Wake Forest, so no one cares)

Let’s say you’re the world’s biggest Phoenix Suns fun who also has a predilection for guttural yelps. Let’s further say that you have been looking for a way to express your inner animal, while also trying to honor your favorite team, who is the Phoenix Suns, as I mentioned. Let’s also further speculate that you are kind of hairy and have always identified with other hirsute creatures.

Assuming those three things are true, this is your lucky day. From the NBA team jobs website:

Mascot – Phoenix Suns (Phoenix, AZ)

Position summary: Be a world-class performer and ambassador for the Phoenix Suns organization both on the court and at appearances (charities, schools, hospitals, local businesses, etc.). Continue the great Gorilla “Go” tradition of making people smile, leaving them with long-lasting/positive memories, and representing the team with pride and passion. This is a full-time, salaried position reporting to our Vice President, Game Entertainment.

Yes, YOU could be the next Phoenix Suns Gorilla. Seriously. Maybe the most iconic mascot job in all of sports is up for grabs and it’s just being advertised online. This is the chance of a lifetime, assuming you want to be a primate for a job.

Let’s take a look at some of the responsibilities.

Essential duties and responsibilities:
• Perform at Phoenix Suns home games, select community and Suns events, domestic and international events booked by the NBA
• Represent the Phoenix Suns in a professional and appropriate manner at all times, inside and outside the suit
• Create new entertainment and recycle past successes for use at performances, including on-court skits/dances/stunts, in-stands interaction and improvisation, and off-site event entertainment
• Maintain an active calendar, and share, as needed, with necessary parties, such as the Mascot Coordinator, VP, Game Entertainment, and Director, Community Relations
• Purchase, manage, and maintain Go costumes, outfits, props, vehicles, and other items
• Schedule and oversee rehearsals, workouts, practice sessions, and any other extra-curricular activities pertaining to the Go program; maintain skills and physical fitness through regular usage of such activities
• Attend Annual NBA Mascot Conference, as well as other workshops and conventions, that may aid in creation of new materials, gather insight on new innovations and opportunities, and/or increase productivity and skills of position
• Assist in the creation and maintenance of Go website ( and other social media (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, etc.); respond to fan mail, emails, and other requests directed to Go
• Regularly attend and contribute to department meetings, providing creative input, ideas and brainstorming

So not only do you have to dunk after jumping through fiery rings, you also have to go to meetings, keep a calendar and, I am guessing, update spreadsheets to track your gorilla progress. Who knew being a gorilla had such an office job component to it? Weird. I wonder if you have to wear the costume even when you’re just at the computer. Hope so.

If this sounds like you, go ahead and apply. The world needs the Phoenix Suns Gorilla as much as it needs anything else in the NBA. Just don’t forget that you’re in charge of the costumes and props. I’d start stocking up now, just in case you get the job.

And if you do get the job, try not to get in a fight at Dave and Buster’s. I don’t want to have to write this thing again in a year.

(via PBT)

There are many different ways to get ready for a basketball game. Some guys like loud music, some guys like silence. Some guys read “The Hunger Games,” some guys read “Who Moved My Cheese?” (Sometimes, this is the same guy.) Some guys drink six cups of coffee and some guys eat pizza.

Basically, if you can think of it, someone has probably tried it before a game. And that includes playing Angry Birds. From Dime Magazine:

Dime: What kind of stuff do you do pregame? Music, rituals, etc.
KM: Music-wise, I listen to a lot of Wale pregame. He gets me hyped. The Eleven One Eleven Theory, mixtapes. And last year in college I played Angry Birds before every game. Right now I’m really feeling Bejeweled.

Dime: How good at Angry Birds are you?
KM: You know it was frustrating. I could get three stars on almost every level, but literally for like two months, there were two parts of the game where I couldn’t get three stars, so I really just stopped playing because it was too frustrating.

Dime: How long would you play Angry Birds before games?
KM: Anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour.

Dime: How did Roy Williams feel about you sitting there playing Angry Birds for an hour?
KM: Well everybody pretty much did their own thing. I got my headphones on in my phone. He might think I’m reading inspirational quotes, and stuff, but everybody had their own way to get ready for the game and get to work.

Listening to Wale and his rapid fire sports references before a game I can totally understand. I’m pretty sure I even had “W.A.L.E.D.A.N.C.E.” on a pregame playlist at some point. I’m not exactly down with current Wale since he pretty much just yells over the beat in every song, but I get it. Sure.

The Angry Birds thing though, that is funny, especially since Kendall “Two Last Names” Marshall went to the trouble of putting in headphones and keeping things hidden from his college coach, like he was ashamed that he’s playing a silly iPhone game for an hour before hooping. Sure, it’s still Top 25 in the App Store after like a thousand internet years and there are probably a bunch of players Birdsing it in the locker room, but still. This is a grown man dominating a cell phone game for a pretty long time, all the while the sound of squealing pigs rings through his ears. Like Marshall says, everyone has their own way of getting ready for a game, but sneakily tossing various birds at wooden structures is a pretty funny one.

But now he’s on to Bejeweled, which I guess is a form of chasing jewelry. It’s all about the ring in the NBA, especially if you can stack a few in a row and make them explode.

Michael Beasley was acquired by the Suns this offseason, a fitting destination for an all-offense, broken ankles kind of player. The move in and of itself is no big deal, as Beasley is a cheap scorer which is basically the definition of a Phoenix Sun at this point. However, the circumstances regarding his leaving Minnesota are a bit odd.

And by “odd” I mean he just sold all of his stuff and left for Arizona. From the FOX Sports North:

The forward, who spent two seasons with the Timberwolves, signed a three-year, $18 million contract with the Phoenix Suns in July, and in the cost-benefit analysis of his new deal, he must have decided that moving his possessions was just too huge of a hassle. Perhaps the décor wouldn’t fit with his new manse in Scottsdale, but most likely, Beasley just decided to cut ties altogether with the last vestiges of his Minnesota self. With apparently no girlfriend or wife or mother to give him the reasonable advice of “call a company and they’ll move it all for you,” Beasley decided on another option: an estate sale.

Yep, Michael Beasley pretty much just grabbed his clothes, dropped off his keys and hopped on his Vespa to Phoenix. No need to take all that silly furniture and stuff to his new house. He’s a millionaire and can just buy more, duh. It’s called traveling light. Bing it.

However, the things he left behind are pretty weird. So weird, in fact, that I am going to create a numbered list of 20 items, and you have to guess which were really for sale at Beasley’s estate sale and which I made up.

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“Scola gives us a griminess and a crustiness that we need.”Suns GM Lance Blanks, talking specifically about Luis Scola’s artfully disheveled hair, probably

(via _ShutUpandJam)