Archive for the ‘Portland Trail Blazers’ Category

Almost a year ago, LaMarcus Aldridge wrecked a Ferrari and then went out and dominated the Denver Nuggets. At the time, I jokingly suggested the Trail Blazers figure out a way for Aldridge to safely wreck a luxury car before every game. Haha, jokes.

But it looks like they might have finally considered my genius strategy that was totally serious. From the Oregonian:

For the second time in the last 11 months, Aldridge on Monday was involved in a car accident on his way to the Blazers game, and for the second time, he played like nothing was awry.

Aldridge had 27 points, 10 rebounds and five assists to help the Blazers beat Orlando 125-119 in overtime, even though much of his pregame was spent dealing with insurance paperwork and frayed nerves from a fender bender two blocks from the Rose Garden arena. [...]

“I don’t know what it is, I keep getting hit by people,’’ Aldridge said chuckling. “I was like: ‘Not again.’ But this time it wasn’t as bad.’’

On Monday, Aldridge said he was in his 2013 Mercedes Benz – a car he purchased less than a week ago. “I don’t even have plates on it yet,’’ Aldridge said. [...]

His 2013 Benz is a special edition because it comes with a chocolate mocha paint.

“It’s the first one they made in that color,’’ Aldridge said. “That’s why I got it. Getting it repainted will be tough.’’

Though we don’t have complete collision stats for LaMarcus, going off of his performance in these two games, we can easily see that he’s averaging 28.5 ppg, 9.5 rpg and 5 apg, which would virtually guarantee him the MVP since those kind of numbers have only been seen six times in NBA history. And while the cost and danger of this technique remains prohibitive, we can also easily see that it’s hugely effective. At this point, teams are going to need to add “plays extremely well after car accidents” to their scouting reports, just in case there’s a lot of traffic in Portland.

Tough break about the car though. You don’t see a lot of brown Benzes and I’m guessing you see even fewer that have been through car accidents, since the people who drive them must be very careful with their investments. Lucky for LaMarcus, he’s making a cool $13.5 million this season, so he’ll be able to afford the finest car painters that money can buy. (Personally, I’d go with these guys, but I understand if he wants to stick with someone local.) And maybe he’ll get a chance to throw plates on that bad boy too. Safety first, unless you’re trying to score 30 a game.