This seems to be an annual thing now, and I’m OK with that. Very OK.
It has been a while since Gilbert Arenas was in the news. But then his name popped up on TMZ this morning, and that is always a good thing, so let’s check in on him.
Hey TMZ, what’s up with Gilbert Arenas?
Ex-NBA star Gilbert Arenas’ 4th of July is gonna suck — ’cause he got nailed by cops early this morning for illegal fireworks — A TON OF ILLEGAL FIREWORKS — as in a full truckload of ‘em … TMZ has learned.
Law enforcement sources tell us Arenas was pulled over by Califorrnia Highway Patrol around 2:30 AM in Los Angeles for speeding in a Ford pickup — but officers immediately saw that the truck was filled with fireworks … sitting in plain sight in the bed and cab of the truck.
We’re told Arenas was arrested and will be booked for possession of illegal fireworks, and cited for speeding — he was allegedly doing 80 mph — and driving without a license.
It’s unclear exactly how much fireworks were in the truck, but it was enough that LAPD bomb squad was called to handle the illegal booty.
Our camera guy counted around 20 boxes being unloaded … very carefully.
Let’s see here. July 4 is a huge fireworks day and July 4 is a week away — I think it’s pretty obvious that Gilbert Arenas was buying a ton of fireworks for his Fourth of July celebrations. That’s a crime as American as apple pie. (The speeding and driving without a license part are also very American, just not in a good way.)
And really, it being a crime is kind of a bummer for Gilberto Gil. I mean, if he lived where Chris Kaman lived, he could blow up all the fireworks he wanted and people would make a video of it for the internet. (He could do the same thing with guns, but please don’t tell Gilbert Arenas that part.) Obviously buying a ton of fireworks that you know are illegal and then speeding around in a truck without a license is stupid, but I’d be lying if I said I never drove to Indiana with my dad to do the same thing, sans the parts about the truck and license. The siren song of illegal fireworks is deafening for those of us living in states that prohibit anything besides Snap n’ Pops and those weird Python things. I’m not condoning it, I’m just saying I get it. I hope the California Highway Patrol at least puts on a little show with their seized sparklers.
This is what’s up with Gilbert Arenas.
Just like postgame fashion last year, flopping has become the most important story of the NBA playoffs. It’s become such a big story, in fact, that one national columnist even suggested that a 3-on-3 game featuring Juwan Howard and James Jones was the best game he’d seen during the entire postseason. That literally happened.
When you hear about flopping so much, it makes you think of all the times you’ve heard about flopping. For me anyways. And while I thought I couldn’t care less about the drama surrounding flopping since it’s something that happens a handful of times per game and usually ends with the flopee being ridiculed on Twitter, everything changed when I accidentally unearted a deep-seated memory that I thought I’d buried a long time ago.
I, Trey Kerby, flopped once. I’m ashamed to admit it, but it’s true.
Let’s go back to 1996, when I was just a seventh grader on the B-team for the Plano Middle School Tigers. I was 12 years old and hadn’t hit the growth spurt that would turn me in to the giant I am today. No, I was just a chubby kid who hadn’t even touched the rim yet, which was kind of a bummer since that was the coolest thing in to do back in those days. As you might surmise from the B-team designation, I wasn’t that great at basketball, though I’d like to state for the record that I was probably one of the five best kids on the worse of the two teams in my tiny, tiny middle school.
Being not good, I had to do something to get on the court. And since my dad taught me that defense was important, I started there. But that wasn’t all he taught me. No, my dad also taught me all about taking charges, how they can be better than a block because your team gets possession no matter what, and that it’s easy for anyone to learn because all you have to do is get hit and fall down. And considering I couldn’t jump or run, that seemed like a valuable skill to learn.
So I learned about charges, as much as you can anyhow. Like I said, it’s pretty much just getting hit and falling down. Even back then, charges happened. I don’t know why I’m spending so many words explaining this, but taking a charge is easy. You literally just have to stand there, especially when you’re in seventh grade.
At this point, I should also mention that middle school basketball coaches love it when you take charges. Nothing gets a science teacher more excited than a kid who is willing to get rammed in the chest and hit the deck. It’s like getting an A+ in basketball. Needless to say, I started taking charges.
And he actually wears it!
Definitely better than that time one of them got cornrows to differentiate between them. I still don’t remember which was which.
This is barely NBA-related, but it’s such a weird coincidence of NBA-related personalities that I feel like you need to know about it. From the New York Post:
The next target for Jay-Z’s Roc Nation Sports banner is potential No. 1 NHL draft pick Seth Jones, according to sources. The son of Nets assistant coach and former Nuggets player Popeye Jones is already repped by CAA, Roc Nation’s partner. But sources said Jay-Z’s organization wants to strike a deal to be involved in the star’s marketing and branding, reports The Post’s Kirsten Fleming. Jones would then benefit from both sides of the CAA and Roc Nation partnership.
Yep, that’s right — a former Nets owner is hoping to represent the son of a former NBA player (and current NBA assistant coach) in the NHL draft, so that he can help make him a star.
Or to put it more simply, this guy…
…is trying to make this guy’s son cool…
…from playing hockey.
The world is weird sometimes.
This comes from Slate and it’s called “A Night at the Flop-era” and it’s perfect on a day when the NBA announced its harsher playoff flopping rules. So just act like someone knocked you down, then sit back and enjoy the sweetest flops the league has to offer. When that’s done, send David Stern a few thousand dollars, just to be safe.
This is the first track from N.O.R.E.’s new record, “Student of the Game,” and I don’t really know how to explain it or if it even needs explaining. It’s called “Kenny Smith Speaks” and it is just 15 seconds of Kenny Smith talking tough. That’s it. Pretty straightforward, really.
But if you were ever wondering what it would be like to have Kenny Smith do a tough talking intro to a rap record by an over-the-hill rapper, this is the answer. It’s weird.
(via Zilla Rocca)