Archive for the ‘San Antonio Spurs’ Category

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It’s not uncommon for teams to sign players in the last couple of days of the season. Good teams do it in order to have them available as depth in the playoffs — all players are playoff eligible, regardless of when they are signed, as long as they weren’t on a different NBA roster at close of business on March 1st. Bad teams do it, almost always with an unguaranteed contract through the following season, as an extended tryout of sorts, as a means of locking in a future piece they want to get an extended look at. That player might only ever be a future piece of their summer league team, but still. No risk, and a potentially mediocre reward.

Rare is the day, though, that this happens with “name” players. Yet it just did — the Knicks bringing back Quentin Richardson, and the Spurs bringing in Tracy McGrady, is largely unprecedented in terms of name recognition. These late signings are normally for the Marqus Blakely, Lawrence Funderburke, Larry Owens types, not players with a combined 27 years and $219 million in NBA salary between them. It hasn’t really happened before, and we shouldn’t really have been expecting it to either.

Fresh from starting small forward Chris Copeland as a de facto center two games ago, and with journeyman power forward Solomon Jones there last game, the Knicks have now apparently decided they’re absolutely fine for big man depth, and cut Jones, their sole healthy big, for some more wing mediocrity. This, at the risk of sounding harsh, is all Richardson provides. It’s been six years since he was a good NBA player; the athleticism has gone, the defense isn’t remarkable, and, if it’s not too ridiculous of a thing to say of the man with the 44th most three-point makes of all-time, the jumpshot was only ever average. Richardson will not provide any more for this Knicks team that Copeland or even James White could not already have done. If you’re going to sign some mediocre depth as emergency depth for the playoffs, shouldn’t you at least sign someone that plays your most needed position?

McGrady, at least, does that. By waiving Stephen Jackson for concerns about his attitude, after many months of assuaging doubters by saying, “it’s all right, it’s only because he cares so much about winning!,” San Antonio’s incredibly deep roster has the smallest of small holes. It lacks an extra small forward with size, experience, and some defensive versatility, and it lacks a quality passing forward in light of Boris Diaw’s injury. McGrady is those things, and he further brings a streaky jump shot and some experience. It’s mostly experience of underachieving and first round playoff exits, but perhaps even that counts for something.

Neither signing changes much. There’s no one you can sign on April 16th that can change much. In theory, however, they may have at least one useful night. It’s entirely possible that Richardson hits three threes in a playoff game, writing his own feel-good comeback story, and continuing the myth that he’s a shooter. It’s equally entirely possible that McGrady, despite probably being twelfth on the depth chart, fills a small but useful role in all games. He brings a versatile enough skill set to do that. That’s the theory, at least, and it costs only two unwanted players and a few thousand dollars to find out.

No risks, and potentially mediocre rewards.

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“Matty, I didn’t know your dad was coming to the game?”Gregg Popovich to Matt Bonner, following one of Bonner’s fans screaming for him to get in to a game

And somewhere in the shadows, a young and skinny Nicolas Batum was practicing his nut punches while short-haired Joakim Noah was working on his dance moves. Or at least that’s what I assume it’s happening, since it appears every French basketball player ever has known each other since bowlcuts were cool.

Tony Parker, by the way? Baking some baguettes, uh-huh-huh.

(via BDL)

Even though I thought the Minnesota Timberwolves had literally killed any future “Harlem Shake” productions by NBA entities, they are still being made at an alarming rate. What you see above is Boris Diaw’s version, which is made of LEGO because, and I quote, “i am not a good dancer so i had to be creative.” Fair enough, and also big ups on getting that first executive producer credit. That’s a huge step forward. Can’t wait to see what he does next, though I am assuming it will be a Tinkertoy version of “Gangnam Style.”

Not to be outdone by a bunch of blocks, the Miami Heat did a live version of their “Harlem Shake” video at the team’s 2013 Family Festival. And actually, I’m glad they did, because it taught me something new about the “Harlem Shake” — if you do a “Harlem Shake” rendition without any costumes, it really just looks like you’re in a wet t-shirt contest without the water. Good to know.

So yes, despite the best efforts of Crunch, the NBA is still a place where “Harlem Shake” videos happen (not a good marketing campaign, btw) pretty regularly. Either these guys can’t tell when a meme has been overdone or they just love dancing. Your call.

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Despite standing 6-foot-10 for the entirety of his nine-year NBA career, Matt Bonner has blocked just 187 shots in 624 regular season games. That’s good for a 0.3 blocks per game average, and that’s why it’s crazy that Bonner blocked a career-high four shots during Saturday night’s win against the Hawks. I guess even a blind squirrel blocks a shot sometimes.

But if we’re living in a new world where Matt Bonner blocks four shots a night, some things are going to need to change. First up on the docket, finding Bonner an appropriate catchphrase for when he blocks a shot, which he’s going to be doing a lot of from now on. From the San Antonio Express-News:

Those hoping for the 33-year-old Bonner to parlay his newfound shot-blocking prowess into commercial stardom, a la Dikembe Mutombo, need not hold their breath.

“I just don’t have a good punchline,” Bonner said. “It’s like (pantomimes blocking a shot), ‘I’m so sorry.’?”

I actually kind of like “I’m so sorry.” It’s innovative, since no one else apologizes for their blocks, as far as I can tell. It’s witty. And it’s such a nice and polite thing to say that I wouldn’t be surprised if it pushed Bonner’s Canadian citizenship straight through parliament.

However, Bonner doesn’t like it. And that’s where we come in. There’s no doubt in my mind that we, the internet, can figure out something better for Matt Bonner to say after he blocks all these shots. I mean, if the internet can take him all the way to second place in the three-point contest, it should be able to come up with a Bonner-appropriate zing for whenever he blocks a shot. I have faith.

Some ideas:

  • Bon-NOPE!
  • Live free or die.
  • …and I’m wearing New Balances.
  • You’ve just been Bonnered.
  • Hi, I’m Coach B.
  • I’ll give you credibility.
  • You need to grow. Really tall.

These are obviously just a jumping off point — even though I feel like Bon-NOPE! is a perfect fit — so please go crazy in the comments. Matt Bonner needs your help and he’s not used to being let down by the internet. Make it count.

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Or at least that is the only logical thing to assume from all these pictures of them vibing at Stephen Jackson’s headlining performance at Matt Bonner’s SXSW showcase, both of which are actual things that really happened yesterday. Though, I suppose, it is possible that Matt Bonner, DeJuan Blair and Gary Neal were there for emotional support. But judging by Bonner’s mean mug, I’m guessing that’s not the case.

I mean, look at how great of a hypeman Gary Neal is.

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As you can see, the biggest thing Gary Neal brings to this posse is a killer knack for accessorizing.

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