Archive for the ‘Shaquille O’Neal’ Category


Notice anything wrong about Shaquille O’Neal’s banner for his recently retired jersey? Like I don’t know, maybe a notched collar at the top that clearly shows us that this is the front of a Lakers jersey, rather than the back where “O’Neal 34″ is supposed to go? Yep, that’s exactly what is wrong.

For reference:


As you can see, that little horizontal notch proves that the Lakers definitely created a banner that put Shaq’s name and number on the front of a Lakers jersey. What’s more unclear is whether or not every other wrinkly retired jersey is the same thing — since the old Lakers uniforms had a scoop neck collar, all those Wests, Jabbars and Chamberlains very well could be frontsy-backsies. It’s impossible to know.

What we do know, however, is that Shaquille O’Neal will be honored forever and ever with a banner of a retired jersey that would have to be sold at TJ Maxx because someone accidentally printed the back on the front. Pretty weird.

UPDATE: Ball Don’t Lie’s Dan Devine heard from a Lakers rep:

Lakers spokesman tells BDL that the last-name-on-front Shaq jersey raised Tuesday “was an error + will be corrected …”

“… as soon as we can get a new jersey for the wall made up.” Replacement hopefully ready in one week, but could be a couple.

So yeah, whoops.


There’s no reason to get in to the storied Shaquille O’Neal-Dwight Howard feud because we all know what’s happened betwixt the two. Basically, Dwight wants to be Shaq without anyone calling him on it and Shaq wants to agree with him that Dwight could never be as good as he was and that he invented the Superman nickname/persona. Even if that sentence isn’t entirely accurate, I think it sums up the general sentiments pretty well.

Except never mind, because that’s all a fallacy. The only reason Shaq ever said anything bad about Dwight Howard is because he wants Dwight to be great because he loves Dwight. At least that’s what Shaq says. From the Los Angeles Times:

“I love Dwight and I see his potential. Hopefully when I say these things he gets mad,” O’Neal said in an interview. “Just think about it. At the dunk contest, he dunked on that thing when it was 15 feet. Remember that? OK, so why can’t you back people down [in the post]? Because if you think I didn’t play against great centers, he’s not playing against nobody, you know what I mean?

“So he should be able to back people down and jump-hook them to death. That’s why I envision in him as a player.” [...]

“Same thing Kareem [Abdul-Jabbar] did to me, the same thing Wilt [Chamberlain] did to me,” O’Neal said. “I can remember one time reading an article and I’m averaging 37 [points] in the playoffs and we lose and somebody asks Kareem, ‘Hey, what do you think about Shaq? He’s a great player.’ And Kareem says, ‘Yeah, he’s OK, but he hasn’t won any championships.’ I didn’t respond, I didn’t cry, I just stepped up and got to the next level. So I’m always going to stay on [Howard] because I actually see him being one of the best Lakers ever if he steps up.”

First things first, Shaquille O’Neal never averaged 37 points per game during the playoffs in any season of his career. But I think we’ve all learned to accept that any stat Shaq gives about his own career is going to be made-up. Had to mention it, but it’s part of the game at this point, so whatever.

Second things second, this feels like equal parts “being nice” and “covering your tracks so that you’re on the right side of history” from Shaq. I’m sure Shaq does think a lot of what he has said about Dwight should serve as motivation, but it also feels like he’s kind of just saying this now because he wants to be able to have a small piece of whatever legacy Dwight leaves in Los Angeles. I mean, what is motivating about saying that Dwight is worse than Robin Lopez? Or even Brook Lopez? That’s just Shaq saying stuff to make people notice what he said; it doesn’t have anything to do with making Dwight Howard a better basketball player.

So yeah, I guess Shaquille O’Neal is a big Dwight Howard fan now. And I’m sure this has nothing to do with Shaq getting his number retired at the Staples Center tonight. And I’m sure Shaq won’t use this as an excuse to keep trashing Dwight Howard whenever he wants since he’s only doing it to make Dwight better. I’m sure all those things are just as true as the time he averaged 37 a game in the playoffs.

Hahahahaha. So funny. Good thing Aaron Carter was available.

(via Reddit)

Pop culture + one sport + another sport + a famous person lip-synching a different famous person’s song who just went through a lip-synching scandal + a poorly filmed video = the Internet.

(via Reddit)

More than anything, I’m just glad that “Shaq Fu” is a term that’s being used again. Of all of Shaq’s various personas, that was probably my favorite, simply because of that celebration he used to do when he put his hands up to his head. Not to mention, this has to be better than his jewelry and vodka.

Then again, maybe not. After all, there aren’t many websites dedicated to the eradication of a single game, but Shaq Fu has accomplished that in the past. The opposite of the sky’s the limit.

(via Joystiq)

It has been a few weeks since we’ve heard of one of Shaquille O’Neal’s cockamamie post-retirement schemes, so I’m guessing you’re just as excited as I am to find out what you’re not going to buy from this guy. The answer now? Vodka.

From the New York Post:

Shaquille O’Neal is launching his own line of vodka — sensationally titled “Luv Shaq.” The former NBA star plans to launch the brand early next year, and for all those barroom athletes, it is sugar- and gluten-free. We’re told Luv Shaq comes in coconut flavor, and the bottle features an image of O’Neal with giant wings.

Silly me, I thought Ed Hardy vodka already existed. Oh right. But I guess there is room in the market for two spirits made by non-spirit makers who put wings on non-winged things and slap it on a bottle.

Then again, grabbing a bottle of LUV SHAQ vodka for your Christmas party is a pretty boss thing to do. Very kitschy, but still sophisticated and cool. I’m not saying he’s the next Yakov Smirnoff, creator of Smirnoff vodka, but Shaq might be on to something here. Maybe Shaq is a big enough name that anything he comes up with will do well in stores. I’m not really deep in to the celebrity liquor game, but maybe that is how these things work when you’re a megastar like the Diesel.

And if it doesn’t work? No worries, since I’m sure Shaq can come up with something else weird to put his name on, like a cruise line or baby clothes or new breed of horse. There have been dumber ideas.

(via Complex)

I don’t speak Russian but I am pretty sure Shaq said his name would be “Vladimir Mandingo.” And then he said it again. And then again.

Which … ummmyeah. Google at your own risk.