You want business tattoos? Kevin Durant will give you business tattoos. Like a whole back’s worth. Not a J.R. Smith’s back’s worth, but still.
And I’m sure it’s no big deal that there’s a word misspelled in the bottom left of that lengthy scripture. No one will notice.
(via BDL)
I know what you guys are thinking and I’m thinking it too — where is J.R. Smith going to put this mythical tattoo if the Knicks do end up winning the championship? And while I’d love to suggest his surprisingly bare elbows or maybe a tasteful face tattoo to honor his achievement, the honest answer is that we just don’t know and it’s hard to offer a real guess at J.R.’s plans. I’m just here to let you know he’s thinking about it.
J.R. Smith has 100 tattoos, including Yankees and Devils logos.
If the Knicks break their 40-year championship drought, Smith vowed to add orange-and-blue ink to his body for No. 101.
Yes, a Knicks tattoo could be coming, even though he is a free agent this summer.
“If we win a championship, I’ll definitely get it,’’ Smith told The Post. “Other than that, I’m not sure yet.’’
Smith is a devout Yankees fan and, as a Freehold, N.J., native, the Devils are his favorite hockey team. But he has been more discriminate lately about adding more tattoos — he is running out of space. He hasn’t had a new addition since joining the Knicks 14 months ago.
“My mother, she loves them now, but she probably wishes I didn’t have so many,’’ Smith said.
You know what’s great about this quote? That it’s really easy to play Most and Least Surprising Thing Said with it, a game that everyone loves, plays and knows exists.
Least Surprising, obviously, is that J.R. Smith’s mom “probably wishes” her son didn’t have so many tattoos. Yeah, probably. Moms are like that. Most Surprising, again obviously I would think, is that J.R. Smith hasn’t got a new tattoo in more than a year. How do you get 100 tattoos in 10ish years (he started at 15) and then go cold turkey while still clearly thinking about getting more tattoos? That is incredible restraint, which is pretty much the exact opposite of what you think of with regards to J.R. Smith and his tattoos. I mean, it was a little more than a year ago that it was a legitimate question of whether or not he had more tattoos than skin, and he stopped? I’m actually more surprised that he doesn’t have a Knicks one yet, rather than that he’d be getting another one if they win.
But I guess getting a little more ink to celebrate a first championship makes sense too. It’s not quite Jason Terry calling a Mavericks championship with a preseason tattoo, but celebratory ink is pretty standard procedure at this point. Even your humble author got his first one to honor a stellar performance on the ACT. So if J.R. Smith wants to get tatted because the Knicks win a title, I totally get it. Lucky for him, he won’t have to decide what to get and where to get it if the Knicks don’t win the championship, so don’t be surprised if that face stays tattoo-free.
You already know the following things about Lakers center Robert Sacre:
But here are two more things for you to know about Lakers center Robert Sacre:
If you’re only going to know five things about a random person, these are a good five. Just from these five things, you can tell he’s a polite fellow who loves cartoons and tattoos and is well-liked by his teammates. That’s a nice start.
And who knows, maybe by the end of the season we’ll know seven things about Robert Sacre. It’s OK to dream big.
Maybe it’s my fault for not closely examining any recent pictures of him, but why didn’t anyone tell me DeShawn Stevenson has a new tattoo on the side of his head? Come on guys. Get it together.
But yes, there it is. It definitely says “Something La Vie” and it’s definitely a head tattoo. Unfortunately, a Google search for “deshawn stevenson la vie tattoo” doesn’t help and there’s nothing useful on Twitter either. I guess this is just one of those classic scalp tattoos that goes unnoticed for months and months. Weird.
Not weird, however, is that DeShawn Stevenson decided to add another tattoo to his head. That makes all the sense in the world. I’m mostly just surprised he beat Chris Andersen to the tattooed mohawk look. Huge upset right there.
J.R. Smith is everyone’s everything. Remember when he and his beautiful haircut signed with the Knicks last year during Linsanity then came in and scored 60? (I didn’t look that stat up, but I’m almost certain it’s true.) Remember when he was the lovable gunner in Denver? Remember when he was the loathsome gunner in Denver? Remember when he was the lovable gunner again in Denver? Remember his slam dunk contest? Remember his purported gang affiliations? Remember him posting pictures of a model on Twitter? Remember 4,000 other things?
J.R. Smith is amazing. J.R. Smith is love. You love him, even if you don’t love him, and only J.R. Smith can even explain exactly what that means. So help him out here. Give him his tattoos back. Feel free to leave your handiwork in the comments.
When I saw this photo pop up on Skeets’ tumblr, I thought what most people probably think — wow, Chris Andersen has a lot of tattoos. And it’s true. He has a whole bunch, including a 303 chain and the beginnings of a Honky-Tonk wordmark across his abs. Good for him.
But then I thought about something else — does Chris Andersen have more tattooed skin than un-tattooed skin? And because I have Photoshop and it is my job to get to the bottom of important questions like this one, I decided to figure out the answer.
First things first, I took out everything that wasn’t tattoos.
It is 2012 and basically every NBA player has tattoos. It’s so widespread that even Tim Duncan has a couple and not having them is more the exception than the rule. It used to be a big deal that NBA players were inked up, with basically only Dennis Rodman and Allen Iverson showing off a lot of art, but now my mom has three. That is how much things have changed.
Except for Jared Sullinger, who’s vowing to stay to tattoo-free for his entire career. From CSSNE.com’s Jessica Camerato:
“No tattoos,” he recently told CSNNE.com. “I promised my mother. You know if you break a promise, you’re not going to be living for the next days (laughs). I want to live as long as I can, so I’m not going to break that promise.”
If ever there were a reason to not get a tattoo, fear of being murdered by your mother is pretty solid. Totally get where he’s coming from on this one.
However, if he ever decides to get a tattoo and still wants to keep things hidden from his mumsy, perhaps he could go the Kevin Durant route and get some nice business tatts. That’s a strategy employed by 90 percent of college aged girls who get tattoos on spring break, and it seems to work pretty well. I’m not saying he should break a promise to his mom and get killed for it; I’m just saying there are options.
If not though, I guess we found Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s new favorite player.
(via PBT)
