As a bro with two tattoos that I’m pretty sure no one else on Earth would consider getting and who is considering adding Picasso’s line drawing of a dachshund to the collection, I feel like I am disqualified to weigh in on this particular topic. So I’ll turn it over to you guys — Is there possibly a good reason to get a tattoo that says “I slept with Shaq” tattoo on your forehead?
My guess is that the answer is no, because duh, but maybe you’ll change your mind after reading the explanation behind why Los Angeles DJ David “Tattoo” Gonzalez (get it?) has that inked on his dome. From Los Angeles Weekly:
[The] tattoo across his forehead truly seals his gonzo credentials. Removing his Raiders cap, he displays it, sprawled in oddly formal cursive: “I Slept With Shaq.” He got the ink during a contest for Lakers NBA Finals tickets in 2001, a challenge presented by Power morning-show DJ Big Boy. Gonzalez showed the handiwork to Shaq — who was impressed — and Big Boy soon gave him a job at the station.
On one hand, this dude got tickets to the 2001 NBA Finals, props from Shaq and a job just from getting four words tattooed on his forehead, which is a pretty good return on investment. On the other hand, he has a tattoo that says “I slept with Shaq” on his face for the rest of his life.
Again, I’m pretty strongly in the “No, this is not a good idea” camp, but maybe I am being too close-minded about having maybe the worst tattoo ever on your face. A spirited defense of this life choice would be appreciated, so let’s hear your best arguments in the comments.
(via West Coast Sound)
It’s hard to find someone who doesn’t like James Harden, especially after a season that saw him take home the Sixth Man of the Year award while wearing an orange sherbert blazer. However, even though we’re all big Harden fans, only one of us has had the cojones to put our skin where our mouth is and tattoo his Mr. T-ish face on our arms. So congratulations to this human for being the biggest James Harden fan, I guess.
Unfortunately this person asked for an oatmeal beard version of James Harden, which probably seems like a mistake in hindsight. It’s always tempting to ask your tattoo artist to add a little oatmeal to your tattoo’s beard, but it never quite turns out how you think it’s going to. A classic blunder.
Nonetheless, if you’re the first person on Earth to get a James Harden tattoo, that still makes you pretty cool, even if he does look like a sleepy baby with a bunch of drier lint caught in his prodigious beard. Beards are the currency du jour for hipsters these days, so rocking some ink of the NBA’s most famous bearded player who just so happens to be the NBA’s biggest hipster is quite the accomplishment. Someday we’ll all have James Harden tattoos, so it’s pretty cool for this bro to be able to say he was the first.
Obviously this guy is going to get a Scottie Pippen tattoo on his left scapula to complete the look — and obviously he is a fan of 1990s sports as he is paying tribute to Darryl Talley with his spiderweb tattoo — but you should see his chest. That’s where the Bill Wennington and Luc Longley portraits are. The chest hair integrates really well with Bill’s beard.
Also, I heard he’s getting a tiny Jack Haley tattoo on his shoulder, just to make sure the Dennis Rodman tattoo stays in line. Oh, and he’s having a tough time deciding if he wants to get a Brian Williams tattoo or a Bison Dele tattoo. Tough choice.
I can write second three-peat Bulls tattoo jokes all day, if you want. Just let me know.
(via I Am a GM)
Its existence has long been rumored and we have even heard tales of its utilization, but as far as I can remember, this is the first time we’ve seen JaVale McGee’s fingerstache tattoo in action. Simply put, it’s perfect.
If you were picking the one player in the NBA who is most likely to have a fingerstache, it has to be JaVale McGee, so I’m glad it’s actually there. And I’m glad he chose to debut it next to a man with a lengthy Yosemite Sam mustache, which is an ideal setting for such a piece of art.
The best part, however, is that JaVale McGee got a mustache tattooed on his finger while actually having a mustache on his face. It’s completely superfluous and completely JaVale McGee. The only thing that could make it more so is if the fingerstache missed a dunk from the free throw line.
(via NBA Offseason)
It’s been more than nine years since Gary Payton played his last game for the now-defunct Seattle SuperSonics, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad time to get a Gary Payton Sonics tattoo. Or any Gary Payton tattoo, really. As we all know, it’s always the right time for a GPT (Gary Payton tattoo).
Anyhow, this is an actual Gary Payton tattoo on the actual torso of an actual grownup human female. The work is pretty exquisite because I think we can all agree that that Gary Payton tattoo actually looks like Gary Payton. That doesn’t always happen with tattoos of people, but this one even accurately displays that pointy back part on The Glove’s skull, so kudos to the artist who inked this.
It’s just too bad GP never really had a signature move or pose because this kind of looks like he’s just exasperated from looking at this lady’s nipple. Seems to me, Tattoo Gary is like “Ugh, more nipple? Come on, lady. Let me see some shoulder or something.” Anything but nipple again.” Certainly understandable, but I’d like to have seen him in a defensive crouch or doing one of those weird lunging karate-kick layups he was famous for — not to mention, the green and yellow jerseys are way better than the green and bronzish orange the late-90s Sonics wore — but it’s not my body. If this woman wanted Sighing Gary, then I’m sure she’s very happy with how things turned out because this looks great.
Also, cool fingernails.
(via I Am a GM)
“I like tattoos, but not on myself. On white guys, they stand out too much. On black players, they look good.”
– Linas Kleiza, who must hate Chris Andersen’s look
(via I Am a GM)
Let’s see here. Chris Andersen is covered in tattoos, has a giant mohawk and is affiliated with the world’s most famous animal rights group. On second thought, maybe Kevin Durant is right about that whole hipster thing.
(via Denver Post)