Archive for the ‘TBJ Top 5’ Category

Miami Heat at Dallas Mavericks
I’m not saying LeBron James should be compared to Michael Jordan, I’m just saying that if DeShawn Stevenson was talking about the 1990′s Chicago Bulls, you could expect at least 40 from MJ. Just sayin’.

Gilbert Arenas’ Very Bad Blind Date
Believe it or not, tweeting while on your first date isn’t a great idea.

Just Ced — “Monster (Taco Bell remix)”
I think we can all say that we’ve wanted to rewrite rap songs with lyrics praising Taco Bell’s food, but this guy actually did it. His Nicki Minaj verse is particularly choice.

The Jaguar Test Drive Experience
When you’re behind the wheel of the world’s finest automobile, 150 mph feels like nothing. When you’re in the passenger seat, it’s a different story.

Katey Red — “Where the Melph At?”
If you guys have seen the melph, whatever that is, let Katey Red know. She (I think?) is too busy driving around town with people booty popping everywhere to find the melph, so lend her a hand.

Miami Heat at Dallas Mavericks
Every game is a must-win at this point, but this is an italics must-win for the Mavericks, so you know it’s serious. Not only is going down 3-1 a death sentence, it also opens up the possibility that the Heat could celebrate on the Mavs’ floor. That’s no good. And since your dad and your cousin are supposedly going to be bigger parts of the Mavs’ lineup, I’m expecting a classic.

LeBron is No Jordan
Come for the MJ highlights, stay for the Kerry Kittles cameo.

Freestyle Canoeing
Everything about this video is the best. Might have to start The Freestyle Canoeing Jones to cover all this gliding action.

Neverending Shampoo
Not sure how I’m going pull off this prank since I do not frequent communal showers, but I’d love to pull this off because it is hilarious.

The Worst Playground Idea Ever
I dunno. Seems like a pretty great idea, actually.

Dallas Mavericks at Miami Heat
Dirk Nowitzki has one hand. Mike Miller has one arm. Advantage: Dallas.

The Greatest Moment in Shaquille O’Neal’s 19-year Career
Yep, this is number one.

John Stewart on Donald Trump’s Pizza Party
Come on Donald Trump. Do not eat non-stuffed pizza with a fork.

Donald Trump on John Stewart on Donald Trump’s Pizza Party
“I don’t carry knives and forks with me.” — Donald Trump’s epithaph

Insane Clown Posse Does “The Way You Make Me Feel”
Sorry about your ears bleeding. Didn’t mean for that to happen.

Dallas Mavericks at Miami Heat
It is Game 1 of the NBA Finals. I am excited. Are you excited? You should be excited.

Keep Moving
Kind of bad timing that Kevin Garnett’s first shoe commercial is called “Keep Moving” and came out after he’d been eliminated from the playoffs, but it’s still pretty great. Especially the part where he’s wearing a jersey that replaces “Celtics” with “Garnett,” like a 1990s video game.

Cavs for Mavs
Get this logo tattooed on your body. It’ll match your t-shirt.

Shawn Marion’s Rookie Scouting Report
“He’s a very natural shooter.”

This Old Man
Barking, oinking and meowing during a live interview translates in any language.

Miami Heat at Chicago Bulls
Ronnie Brewer says the Bulls “expect to win.” Dwyane Wade says he wants to clinch the Eastern Conference championship in Chicago. One of these men is going to be a liar.

Drake Guest Stars on “The LeBrons”
This show continues to bring the weird, this time bringing in one of the biggest rappers in the world, only to have one of his animated weed carriers freestyle against Business LeBron. I guess that Sprite money only goes so far.

You Can’t Park Here
Or there. Or there. Or there either. You can’t really park anywhere if you’re in a movie.

Another “Muppets” Trailer
Can this movie just come out already so we can all go see it together and talk about how Animal is the best Muppet? Pretty please.

Important Dog Videos
“Baths suck,” says this one dog. “I don’t want to wake up,” says another.

Oklahoma City Thunder at Dallas Mavericks
Quite possibly your last chance to see Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook and the rest of the Thunder gang for a while. Dallas is plugged in and I can’t imagine they’ll drop an elimination game at home, but Oklahoma City has won two of the three Texas matchups between the teams this season.

The Crossover on Display
A very excellent little vijoe on the art of the crossover that will make you miss Allen Iverson a lot.

A Real-Life Street Hockey Goal
The street hockey scene in “D2: The Mighty Ducks” is one of the most ridiculous scenes in any sports movie, but now that I’ve seen a hockey player score a goal off a puck that bounced off the glass, I believe it is possible that African-American teens have pickup hockey games in South Central Los Angeles.

Tornado Dog with Broken Legs Crawls Forever to Find It’s Owner
OK to cry on this one, friends. Let it all out.

This “Hangover” is Like That “Hangover”
Considering the two movies are identical, it’s hardly a surprise that the trailer for “The Hangover 2″ is a scene-for-scene remake of the trailer for “The Hangover.”

TBJ Top 5, featuring a big face-off

Chicago Bulls at Miami Heat
The very definition of a must-win game for Los Bulls, because the Heat of right now do not feel like the kind of team who would let up in an elimination game. Maybe the November Heat would, but not these ones.

Slow Motion for Dirk
Ol’ Dirk Dog doing his fourth quarter thing to the sounds of epic tympanis and other instruments of that nature. Probably the only thing that can make that one-legged fallaway look majestic.

DeShawn Stevenson Gets Racked
I might hate DeShawn Stevenson more than any non-Damien Wilkins player in the league, but even I can’t get happy about him taking an elbow to the nuts. Well, not that happy.

Telephone Manners Rap
This is why the early-90s is considered the Golden Age of hip-hop.

Max Fischer Wrote “Life Aquatic”
Some very interesting conspiracy theories for all you Wes Anderson nerds out there.