Oklahoma City Thunder at Memphis Grizzlies
Is there any way to make this series go an extra 42 games? Put it in the next collective bargaining agreement please, because that would be great.
Miami Heat at Boston Celtics
OK, so Rajon Rondo can play with one arm dangling at his side. Big deal. If you want to impress me, injure both elbows and do the same thing. That’s an accomplishment.
The Scooter Dance
Dancing with your friends is the new lip-dubs, in that they are taking over the Internet and are very excellent.
Jack Nicholson at Lakers Games
Now that the Lakers have been eliminated from the playoffs, let’s take some time to reminisce about the crazy faces that Jack Nicholson was always making. We lost some great faces out there.
Bethenny Ever After (Bravo — 10pm ET)
This one goes out to all the ladies out there who are getting tired of having to watch the playoffs every night. And to all the guys who watch this show with their ladies. And to anyone who likes this programming, regardless of gender because equality is the greatest. But most of all, this one goes out to all the skinny girls out there. Wassup skinny girls!
Atlanta Hawks at Chicago Bulls
Quite obviously the biggest game of the Bulls’ season thus far. No duh, but it should probably be mentioned so that when the Bulls win by 20, they can get some fist pounds. (That is me using the power of positive thinking.)
Dallas Mavericks at Los Angeles Lakers
For whatever reason, the Lakers being in a 0-1 seems less daunting than the Bulls sitting in the same position. Maybe that’s because Chicago has won two less NBA titles in the past two years. Or maybe it’s because even though it’s entirely possible, it just doesn’t feel like the Mavericks can beat the Lakers four times.
Survivor (CBS — 8pm ET)
There is a bit of debate around TBJ about whether or not Boston Rob can actually win this season. To me, he’s played the game so well that people won’t give him jury votes because that’s what always happens because people get all bitter about being voted off. JD disagrees. No matter what though, tonight is the first time his alliance will have to vote off one of their own. Meet me at the tree mail, it’s going down.
Memphis Grizzlies Hype-Up Video
This is the video that was played in the locker room prior to Memphis’ first round series against the Spurs. It’s awesome because you can tell this is the first time the franchise has ever had to make a video like this. I mean, they included an assistant coach’s college team winning the NIT as proof that the Grizzlies are winners. Highly recommended.
Pacers Reading Books
If you were ever wondering what it would be like to have Roy Hibbert read you “I Know an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly,” then wonder no more.
Memphis Grizzlies at Oklahoma City Thunder
If everyone’s new favorite team wins again, will that make people sad because they beat everyone’s old new favorite team? Such a conundrum. Let’s hope they tie so everyone can be happy forever and ever amen.
Boston Celtics at Miami Heat
It has only been two days since Game 1, so if the Heat whip the Celtics again, rust can’t be an excuse. Well, I guess it can, because of old jokes. Those guys are so old, they are made of rust. Ha ha, gotcha.
Herman Düne — “Tell Me Something I Don’t Know”
Definitely the best music video featuring Jon Hamm taking a fuzzy blue puppet on a road trip that you will ever see. No doubt about it. Flawless victory.
An Adult Baby
No big deal, just a 29-year-old man who lives half his life as a baby. Couldn’t be more normal.
49 Seconds of America
This is the most American video to ever exist. It was filmed by a camera taped to an overweight eagle who squawks too loud and listens to Nickelback, which is ironic because they’re a Canadian band. Get it together, fat eagle.
Dallas Mavericks at Los Angeles Lakers
The Mavs are hilariously playing the “No one believed in us” card, which makes them dangerous because they probably actually believe that. Also, they are good. Plus, for the first time in forever, Derek Fisher is not the oldest starting point guard in a playoff series.
Atlanta Hawks at Chicago Bulls
No Kirk Hinrich for the Hawks, yes Carlos Boozer for the Bulls. Hate to say it, but those might cancel each other out.
World’s Greatest Rap Song
Not sure which is better — this kids pants, his dance moves or his sick flow. You tell me.
World’s Greatest Wrestling Move
There is literally nothing bad about this. Except for when the huge guy strips down to his grunders. That’s not so great.
World’s Greatest Carp Hunting Video
There probably isn’t a lot of competition in this category, but this adventure definitely takes the cake.
Los Angeles Lakers at New Orleans Hornets
Feels like this is going to be the last time to watch Chris Paul for a while, so you should really tune in. The cool part is, if we get a vintage Chris Paul performance, there’ll probably be another one to watch this weekend. So, it’s like double good, even though Phil Jackson apparently hates New Orleans.
Dallas Mavericks at Portland Trail Blazers
Portland’s at home, so they’ll probably win. But Dallas is just a little better, so they’ll probably win. Going to be a tie, I guess.
Orlando Magic at Atlanta Hawks
Can those dummy idiot birdbrains from Atlanta close this thing out? Who knows, but it’ll be hilarious watching them try.
Cadbury Cream Egg McFlurry
Even though the few mentions I’ve heard on the Internet say that this delicious dessert treat is nothing special, I still want to try it. I mean, ice cream is great and so are Cadbury Cream Eggs, so putting them together seems like a great idea. Too bad you have to go to the United Kingdom to try one.
El Clásico, Animated
Even if you don’t like soccer, this is excellent.
Memphis Grizzlies at San Antonio Spurs
Theoretically, this could be the last game we see from the Spurs for this season. But considering Memphis’ 16-25 road record, I wouldn’t be on it. Then again, I wouldn’t have bet they’d take Game 1 in San Antonio either, and look how that turned out.
Denver Nuggets at Oklahoma City Thunder
Then there’s this — a bad road team in the Nuggets takes on a good home team in the Thunder, in Oklahoma City. Not saying the Nuggdawgs can’t pull it out, but I’m expecting OKC to have a few days off after this one. Because they closed out the series.
Philadelphia 76ers at Miami Heat
If the Sixers can get another 27-footer from Louis Williams and another barely-block from Elton Brand in the last few seconds of this game, they can win it. Otherwise, not so sure.
Turkish Men Dancing
Watch this and tell me this isn’t the best thing ever.
Being On the Phone Because Someone in Connecticut Started a Cable Account In Your Name
Just kidding. This sucks. Never do this.
New Orleans Hornets at Los Angeles Lakers
Maybe it’s just me, but this series is even more surprising than the Grizzlies and Spurs. Probably because Aaron Gray is actually doing important stuff.
Indiana Pacers at Chicago Bulls
Pacers coach Frank Vogel says, “We feel like if we win this game tonight, we’ll win the series.” The Bulls are like, “Us too.”
Atlanta Hawks at Orlando Magic
This is going to be the most hilarious game of the night. Either the Magic lose and people have some laughs about that. Or the Hawks blow things in spectacular fashion, which is also giggle-worthy. Either way, we’re the big winners.
This interview with the 5-year-old screenwriter of “Fast Five” is truly insightful. It’s short but those few minutes will really get you excited for Friday.
For whatever reason, this seems like the perfect nap length. Those four extra minutes allow you to get settled in, then you get to enjoy a full 20-minute snooze. It’s like preheating an oven.