Archive for the ‘Technology’ Category

LOL OMG TBJ ROFL LMAO BRB TTYL

By internet standards, at age 35, Kobe Bryant is basically a great-grandfather who fought in a minor war you know nothing about. That’s why his latest request is one of the funniest things you’ll see today, in the non-”Breaking Bad”-meets-Miley Cyrus division:

That’s right — no catties. (Also, no dog poop, which seems to be a universally held opinion. I’m starting to think Kobe Bryant isn’t really an animal person, except for when he’s coming up with nicknames for himself.)

Oh, and also no twerking, even though this is Miley Cyrus’ world and we are all just being twerked on in it:

You don’t see a lot of teasers for potential Vine accounts — and you definitely don’t see those teasers proudly proclaim exactly what they won’t be doing — but all this Kobe Bryant Vine research lends itself to one possibly obvious question: why is Kobe Bryant worrying so much about Vine when he already has an Instagram account where he can and does post video? Maybe he likes the looping. Great-grandpas are so weird sometimes.

mario-chalmers-yawning-maybe

Hey guys, Mario Chalmers needs our help.

And once you’ve figured that out, handle this.

Someone give Mario Chalmers a hand. He needs to check his Blackberry email online so that he can call or email Instagram about his account, because he’s got some great filter ideas for #TBT. No reward.

(via @ryallen23)

ray-allen-magic-johnson-computer

You can tell it is the beginning of August when some of the biggest NBA news is that the Phoenix Suns bought the web domain Beat.LA to tout their rivalry with the Lakers. Yes, this is obviously the biggest NBA-related domain name story since Chris Bosh won all those domains in a cybersquatting lawsuit — never forget that Chris Bosh has always been the NBA’s reigning king of weird for a while now — but it is still a story about a website honoring a rivalry between two teams who won a combined 70 games last year.

But whatever. Let’s embrace the summerness of this story by coming up with our own fancy domains that NBA teams can secure right now. Here’s a start:

  • Bob.cat — The Bobcats should buy this and have it link to their official website. It’s for websites related to Catalan culture though, so maybe they should trade for a Gasol first.
  • HanginWithMr.coop — A collection of clips from 90s sitcoms where actors played for the Warriors.
  • Semi.pro — Basically any team could own this and cheekily direct it to their rival’s website, thereby insinuating that either they aren’t good enough for the NBA or that they really like that only-OK Will Ferrell movie.
  • Knicks.museum — Feels like the Nets could scoop this up then brag about how all their old guys are still better than the Knicks’ old guys.
  • BustedLegGr.eg — Every team who lost out on the Greg Oden sweepstakes could chip to buy this then talk about his busted legs.
  • Beat.mil — Obviously an anti-Bucks site, but I’m not sure anyone has strong enough feelings about beating them so this might go unused.
  • Bye.ai — An Andre Iguodala smear site run by the Denver Nuggets that is just a continuous loop of all of his missed free throws.
  • HiIg.gy — An Andre Iguodala fan site run by the Golden State Warriors that is just a continuous loop of all of his great defensive plays.
  • [ANYRIVALTEAM]IsB.ad — Simple.
  • Varej.ao — Your home for all of the best Anderson Varejao highlights, like that time he got injured, that other time he got injured or when Dwyane Wade crammed on his curls.
  • Foul.bg — Just a landing place for YouTube clips of Blake Griffin getting hacked and then missing some free throws. Probably run by the Grizzlies or Jason Smith.
  • Foul.dj — Literally the exact same thing as Foul.bg, only for DeAndre Jordan.
  • Love.bm — A Brad Miller fan site that I just started. Not a fetish site.
  • RefsAre.bs — Mark Cuban’s newest venture.
  • ICanFinally.cu — This is the easiest place to find every story about Rudy Gay finally getting his vision fixed seven seasons in to his NBA career. Definitely run by the Grizzlies.
  • Raptors.eh — For all those people who can’t believe the “National” Basketball Association would have an international team.
  • ComeOnGre.gg — Craig Sager finally got fed up with Gregg Popovich’s snide comments, bought a website and then used it to edit YouTube videos so that he could always have a snappy comeback.
  • NiceHair.jo — Not everyone likes Joakim Noah’s hair.

You get the point. Let’s hear yours in the comments.

When I first started to watch this, I was like, “Eh, Google Glass videos aren’t really that interesting to me. I think you have to actually wear them to appreciate them.” But then Roy Hibbert started dunking and blocking shots and catching alley-oops off the backboard while looking pretty much directly at the net and I was sold. Being super duper tall seems like fun.

(via Daniel Beyer)

amare-stoudemire-iman-shumpert-chillin

I really don’t feel like going in to a long-worded explanation about how the internet has changed how athletes relate to their fans, the advantages and disadvantages of social media, or any of that stuff. You know all about that, so let’s just move on to the part where I tell you Iman Shumpert may have made the most important teammate move of the Social Media Era, or at the very least the most noteworthy internet policing in the league since Chris Bosh won all those domain names.

Here is what I’m talking about, courtesy of Alan Hahn:

Shumpert has been traveling in Asia for Adidas and the NBA, but has maintained close contact with goings on in New York, especially with the recent signing of Metta World Peace. As he usually is, Shumpert has been very active on Twitter and reacted angrily to a follower with a handle that disparaged Amar’e Stoudemire (We won’t promote the handle here because we don’t want any copycats looking to flex).

Upon noticing the follower’s handle, Shumpert on Monday sent the person a direct message that said, “This ain’t funny. It’s disrespectful to a man. A father. A warrior. A role model. And one of my good friends. Delete this page.”

The person, of course, posted the DM proudly to show off how Shumpert contacted him. Shumpert replied publicly, saying again, “Delete ur profile and do the right thing.”

Shortly thereafter, the account was gone.

Shumpert tweeted, “#shotout to the fans for getting that account suspended.”

If you want the full tweet-by-tweet breakdown, head over to Dime to check out everything that Hahn summarized above. But isn’t that nice of Iman Shumpert? It’s basically the internet equivalent of having your bro’s back in a fight. And come to think of it, Iman and Amar’e sounds like a great tag team. I imagine they’d dress like something from “The Warriors,” only with brighter colors and better haircuts.

But while I applaud Shumpert for having STAT’s internet back, I hope this doesn’t lead to him becoming Amar’e Stoudemire’s unofficial Twitter bodyguard. Because between the diminished output, penchant for wearing silly hats and untimely fire extinguisher punching, there are many opportunities for Amar’e parody accounts. Sure @AmarKnee is down, but what of @WhereAreAmaresSleeves, @IsAmareHurt and @StoudemiredInMediocrity, which are all probably available and laden with potential jokes. Iman Shumpert may have just bitten off more than he can chew. Best of luck, FlatTop.

mark-cuban-hands-off

Mix one part guy from a reality show about investing in things with one part guy who always complains about the refs — what do you get? Well, Mark Cuban, for one, since he is both of those guys. But you also get Mark Cuban funding a scientific study on the physics behind flopping, which is a real thing that is happening. From SMU.edu, so you know it’s legit:

Biomechanics experts at Southern Methodist University have teamed with Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban to carry out a scientific study of the unsavory practice of player flopping in basketball and other sports.

[...]The Cuban-owned company Radical Hoops Ltd. awarded a grant of more than $100,000 to fund the 18-month research study at SMU, Dallas.

“The issues of collisional forces, balance and control in these types of athletic settings are largely uninvestigated,” said SMU biomechanics expert Peter G. Weyand, who leads the research team. “There has been a lot of research into balance and falls in the elderly, but relatively little on active adults and athletes.”

The objective of the research is to investigate the forces involved in typical basketball collisions, said Weyand, an associate professor of applied physiology and biomechanics in the SMU Annette Caldwell Simmons School of Education and Human Development.

Yeah, of course this is happening. What exactly are they studying?

The researchers will look at how much force is required to cause a legitimate loss of balance. They’ll also examine to what extent players can influence the critical level of force via balance and body control. They will also explore techniques by which the forces involved in collisions might be estimated from video or other motion capture techniques.

The research findings could conceivably contribute to video reviews of flopping and the subsequent assignment of fines, Weyand said. “It may be possible to enhance video reviews by adding a scientific element, but we won’t know this until we have the data from this study in hand.”

You read that right. Mark Cuban is funding a study that will attempt to find out how much force you need to knock a player over, whether or not that player could have helped falling down, whether or not that player fell down on purpose, and of course, how to track all of this — this is the greatest referee trolling of all-time. Mark Cuban is paying money to find a new way to complain about referees. I thought filing a legal brief about winning a championship as evidence against a lawsuit’s claims of mismanagement was his master stroke, but investing in ways to become the world’s foremost expert on flopping when you are famous for complaining about referees is next level zingery.

Of course, I’m sure this will be framed as “for the good of the game.” And yes, being able to prove who is and isn’t flopping could go a long ways towards addressing something that people make way too big of a deal about, so that is true. But really, Mark Cuban wants to know who’s flopping and can afford to try to figure it out. It’s genius. There’s a reason he’s a billionaire.

(via Reddit)

mike-tirico-ipad

That’s definitely an iPad right in front of Mike Tirico and that’s definitely the iBooks app that he has open as ESPN came back from a break early in overtime, or as I like to call it, the absolutely perfect time to catch up on some reading. Unfortunately, I can’t make out a single book in Tirico’s library, even when I use complicated algorithms to ENHANCE this screen shot.

mike-tirico-ipad-enhance

This is where you come in, TBJers. I would very much like to know what Mike Tirico is reading here, because if he’s reading it during an overtime playoff game that he’s working, it must be good. Let me know.

(via Oskar Jamtander)