Archive for the ‘Technology’ Category


Even though he wasn’t assessed a warning or fine this entire season, Blake Griffin has a bit of a reputation as a flopper. And by “a bit of,” I mean there are more than 235,000 Google search results for “blake griffin flopper” and the Grizzlies crowd chanted “FLOP-PER! FLOP-PER!” at him last week. There was even a rap song made about it that went to No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

But as Blizzy Blake tells us, it’s only because of technology that anyone thinks he’s actually flopping in the first place, and sometimes, things aren’t what they seem. Dun dun! From ESPN:

When people say he flopped on a play, he’ll watch the video on YouTube to see why they might’ve thought that.

“There’s times that I have [flopped],” he says. “But I definitely wouldn’t consider myself a flopper.”

OK, so why do people think that?

“Honestly, I think it’s slow motion,” he explains. “Everything either looks better or worse in slow motion. A cool play looks really cool. But then, when somebody takes a hit, it might not be that hard, but your reaction is going to be to whip your head back because you don’t want to get hit.

“My reaction is always to move away. So then when it’s slowed down, and you see somebody didn’t get hit that hard, but you like jerked your head back. I’m telling you, that’s what I think. Slow motion and instant replays are what do it.” [...]

“I saw the thing that [ESPN commentator] Skip Bayless said after the Serge Ibaka hit,” Griffin says, referring to the play on which Ibaka received a flagrant foul for swinging his arm wildly and hitting Griffin in the groin.

“He was like, ‘He didn’t hit Blake Griffin below the belt. He’s just a flopper.’

“It was baffling to me that somebody could watch that — maybe it’s different for me because I felt it — but it was baffling to me that somebody could watch that and think that I flopped that.”

This is exactly what Frank “Cannonball” Richards tells people who think he flinched before that famous cannonball to the gut footage — it only looks like that because you slowed it down. In real speed, Richards and Griffin are both really taking those shots and sometimes your body just involuntarily moves when it’s about to get crushed. Or whatever.

And yeah, I guess all of this makes sense logically. Most people move somehow when they’re about to get hit, slow motion footage exaggerates everything, cool plays do look really cool, Skip Bayless often says things that don’t make any sense — Blake Griffin is spot-on with all of this. If you filmed this paragraph with Phantom cameras and slowed it down to an absurd rate, it would like I had misspelled everything and that it’s taking me forever to get to the point. That’s what slow motion does.

Another thing slow motion does is give you a chance to look at every little aspect of a play, like when Blake Griffin hit himself in the face and thought a foul should be called. Or like a bunch of other Blake Griffin flops, which he kind of admits to because he knows people like me are just going to dig out the videos if he says he never flops. There are a lot of those, and sometimes you just have to look at the preponderance of evidence (I accidentally watch a lot of “Law & Order: SVU,” no big d) and maybe disagree with the guy who says it looks like a flop because of technology while also saying that he definitely jerks his head back in preparation for being hit. The slow motion might exacerbate things and make some flops look worse and some borderline-non-flops look like definitely-flops, but when you’re parsing out reasons for why all these plays you are making look like the plays you say you aren’t making, well maybe you are making those plays quite a bit. I’m sure you catch my drift play-wise.

But who knows? I’m sure Blake Griffin legitimately gets knocked down a significant portion of the times he falls down, just like I’m sure that a significant portion of the plays Twitter says are flops are probably flops. They don’t have to be mutually exclusive. However, I would very much like an explanation for those faces he makes. I’ll be waiting.


Old people talking about Twitter — is it the best or the worst?

While you’re considering that very important question, I’ll offer you two pieces of information regarding Twitter from a couple of NBA old guys. The first is Tim Duncan, courtesy of Yahoo! Sports’ Marc Spears:

On why he isn’t on social media, Spurs Tim Duncan says: “Because I have no desire to tell you what I’m doing.”

The second is Metta World Peace, via ESPN’s Dave McMenamin:

Metta on if Kobe’s tweeting is a distraction: “Absolutely not … I’m a distraction.”

If you were ever looking for the perfect definition of the difference betwixt Tim Duncan and Metta World Peace, you’d be hard pressed to find something more fitting than these two statements. On one hand, you have Tim Duncan completely ducking the spotlight because he doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s doing. On the other hand, you have Metta World Peace volunteering that even he knows he’s a distraction. This is two sentences about a microblogging service, but they are totally indicative of everything about these two guys.

Oh, and don’t be too salty about not getting to know what Tim Duncan is up to all the time. Us humans would have a hard time deciphering the robot noises his operating system would automatically publish to Twitter anyways, so it’s not a big deal.


I remember hearing once upon a time that David Stern had a Twitter account that no one knew about, he never tweeted from and was created solely for keeping tabs on NBA stuff in the cyberspace information superhighway. As far as I know, no one has ever found it, just like no one has ever found those dead bodies he buried that Stern is so fond of mentioning. (Check in the Lakers’ ceiling. There’s always stuff hidden there.)

But apparently David Stern isn’t the only high level NBA executive to keep his Twitter game on the down low. No, friends, it appears that Pat Riley is also a Twitter lurker, only his hidden account has been (allegedly) unearthed by a combination of the internet and radio producer Brendan Tobin.

From Reddit:

This was just revealed on Miami radio. Riles admitted he was on Twitter at a Heat charity event over the weekend, and one of the guys at the station went through the Heat staff and found this account and matched it by his follows and followers.

Riles hasn’t tweeted yet and will probably abandon this account — @2620pr — in no time now that we’re (allegedly) on to him. But for now, let’s creep through the 56 people who he is (allegedly) following and have a few gentle chuckles.

  • LeBron James (Riley’s first follow, smart)
  • Micky Arison
  • Erik Spoelstra
  • A bunch of other Heat players
  • A number of journalists including Bill Simmons, Kelly Dwyer and Handsome Tom Haberstroh
  • Magic Johnson
  • FakePatRiley
  • Tony Robbins

At first I thought FakePatRiley (bio: “I’m Pat Riley, you’re welcome.”) was the funniest person that (Allegedly)RealPatRiley is following, but then I reconsidered and now I think it’s Tony Robbins. There’s just something about one of the NBA’s most well-respected figures in the history of its history (allegedly) starting a Twitter account to see what people are saying about his team, then deciding he needed some extra inspiration from the guy who set in motion the events from the blockbuster motion picture “Shallow Hal.” Then again, that does explain why Juwan Howard has stuck around this team for such a long time. He’s a good basketball player on the inside.

So if this is Riley, I guess it just goes to show you how easy it is for people to hide out in plain sight, even if they are famous. In fact, there could be several NBA executives following you on Twitter right now. There probably aren’t but there definitely could be. Maybe.

Oh man, if we’d have known Chris Bosh was in an after-school coding program called the Whiz Kids, we definitely would have called him, LeBron James and Dwyane Wade that when they all Miami’d up back in 2K10. Next time, I guess.

(via The Atlantic/Gourmet Spud)

That’s it. Just a man who looks like me riding a Segway around the 76ers’ practice court while dressed like a goth ninja in a down vest. It’s not a big deal. It’s just a Christmas present and he wants to show it off.

Your move, JaVale McGee.

(via Liberty Ballers/Growth Plates/BDL)

I am kind of nervous to even write this post, considering what we know what happened to Kirk Snyder. Nonetheless, I will continue apace, letting everyone know that if you criticize Jerry Stackhouse on Twitter, you should expect a response. And not a happy one, either — a real Jerry Stackhouse kind of response.

These come from The Brooklyn Game because Ol’ JerBear already deleted them from his Twitter:

@jkrugelhead get your followers up.. You’re not even worthy of a response

@BSchulzBKN Fans want interaction but when it’s not what you want to hear.. It’s rude and defensive.. Ok

@BSchulzBKN we’ll take pride in the fact your team is 11-1 this year! If I was 36-36 you’d still find something to complain about! Be Happy

@BSchulzBKN Thx! Educate me b/c I’ve never been a fan.. Always on the other side..

@baptiste718 @marshon2 neither one of us make that call. When our number is called we play our mins, if not, we support the other #teammate

@BSchulzBKN wonder if I came to your cubicle and critiqued your work and put it up for public consumption, would your view change??

@jkrugelhead Aren’t you a nets fan? Or just a Marshon fan? This is the best this team has been in loooong time!!

@alboboy98 @ed_boulanger I really don’t mind.. I like to argue sometimes! Lol

@BSchulzBKN I will… Shots come and go just like some “Fans”. I’ve shot 0-1 in 4 of the last 5 game. I’m really struggling? Gtfoh

So many great zings to take from this. Personally, I feel like “get your followers up” is going to be something that I incorporate in to my everyday hater patrolling. It just seems like a very good way to cut to the core of someone’s insecurities and I’m thankful to Jerry Stackhouse for dreaming it up.

Also, if you get Jerry really upset, he’ll send you a direct message explaining how his efficiency isn’t that bad.

If we’ve learned anything about Jerry Stackhouse during his 15,000-year career it’s that he loves singing the national anthem. But if we’ve learned anything else, it’s that you don’t mess with Jerry Stackhouse. Apparently, that even means over Twitter, which is pretty weird to think about when you consider the internet barely existed when Jerry first entered the NBA. I guess this is growing up.

Would it surprise anyone to learn that Gregg Popovich — he of the brusque sideline interviews, refusal to listen to Stephen Jackson’s rapping and other general grumpiness — would think that one of his players is online too much? And would it surprise anyone to learn that that player was Mr. Rapsobeat himself, Stephen Jackson?

Well, prepare to not be surprised then. From the Minnesota Star-Telegram:

“Jack’s a pain in the (butt),” Popovich said. “Look at him, all he does is twitters.

“He’s twittering some stuff right now that’ll probably get him fined, and then I’ve got to call the league and talk to the league and say, ‘Yeah, I talked to him.’ ”

Jackson then chimed in and said: “It’s not Twitter. It’s Instagram.”

Not much else for me to say here except for that this is perfect. Every part of it — Pop’s weird usage of “twitter” in a sentence, their relationship that no one understands but everyone adores, Jackson’s quote at the end — it is all perfectly Spurs-y. I just want to take a picture of this moment, throw the Brannan filter on it and call it a day. 16 likes, for sure.