Archive for the ‘Technology’ Category

Due to its extremely sensitive nature, I cannot reveal to you what is on my iPhone’s (4S, no big deal) lock screen. However, I can reveal to you what is on the background of LeBron James’ phone, which is theoretically a Samsung Galaxy Note II but in reality is probably an iPhone 5. I think this is a fair trade.

From Sports Illustrated:

[LeBron James] revealed on Wednesday that the screensaver of his phone is a Photoshop image of himself handling the ball while guarded by Michael Jordan in his prime. “Jordan was my superhero growing up,” James said. “He was the guy I feel helped me get to where I am today. As a competitor, who would not want to go against the best? That’s like asking [Tom] Brady would he want to go against Montana in the fourth quarter.”

On one hand, this is pretty dorky. Mostly because it is something I feel like I would do, considering I once had a Photoshopped championship ring as my phone background. There’s just something inherently uncool about it to me, since I would do it.

But on the other hand, it’s kinda cute. Like, I bet LeBron James does wish he could have a showdown with Michael Jordan, just to prove that he can compete with the G.O.A.T. and also avenge that picture where Jordan looks zero percent impressed to be meeting smiley-faced, 18-year-old LeBron. It kind of reminds you that LeBron is still just a kid who looked up to Michael Jordan, only now he’s replaced him as the best player in the NBA.

In related news, sources say that the background for Chris Bosh’s phone is Chris Bosh making a Chris Bosh face because that’s what makes Chris Bosh laugh the most and Chris Bosh loves laughing.

I’m not going to try to explain this Kevin Garnett quote about the Celtics’ chemistry to you. I’m just going to put it out there and let you try to interpret it for yourself.

From WEEI:

“You can’t speed chemistry up,” said KG. “I think the more practice, the more you get familiar with each other. There’s no hit the fast forward button here. You’ve got Comcast. Some shows you can’t fast forward through. You’ve just got to let it go through and watch the silly ass commercials and be pissed, right? This is what this is.

“Did I just take a shot at Comcast? [Expletive] it, I did it. So what? I’m a DirecTV guy anyway. This is what this is. I’m not helping myself, am I? [Expletive] it. [Expletive] it. [Expletive] it. Who cares? Anyway, that’s what this is. We totally messed that up, right? Goddamned, we just totally messed that up. But this is one of those things where it just takes its course and you can’t speed anything up.”

Seriously though, he is right about this. When you’re watching something on demand and you can’t fast forward it, it sucks. If you wanted to watch commercials, you’d have watched it live. This is why you should always DVR stuff, because then nobody can tell you what you can and can’t fast forward through, like you’re John Locke and your living room is the island. That’s just a little pro tip for you TV heads out there.

Plus, he’s right about chemistry deciding when it has been properly mixed. There’s no way to force something like that, just like you can’t throw chemistry in a tortilla and call it dinner. (Or whatever. Unpacking Kevin Garnett metaphors is a fool’s errand.) It takes time to build familiarity and familiarity to build chemistry, so when you consider all the new pieces the Celtics have added — plus changing roles for guys like Rajon Rondo, Jeff Green and eventually Avery Bradley — it’s only natural that there’d be rocky patches in the early going. But they’ve got a ton of veterans who are used to figuring things out, a coach who understands how players relate to each other as well as anyone in the game and a clearly defined hierarchy that helps people fall in to line. They’ll figure it out.

Of course, since they’re Comcast, it’ll probably take forever for them to actually get things together. Then when they do, it won’t be totally right and they’ll have to reconfigure everything and that’ll be another huge hassle, plus you’ll never be able to get them on the phone. Then just when the TV works, their internet will go out and you’ll have to spend hours unplugging and replugging your modem, trying to get a signal. Eventually it’ll work, but the whole time their fans will keep threatening to switch to AT&T.

Being an NBA coach is hard, especially if you’re in the first week of your first head coaching job at any level, just like Orlando Magic head guy Jacque Vaughn. That’s why, I’m guessing, the Magic’s official website took to the internet to poll their fans on who should be the team’s primary backup point guard. Because really, why else does this exist?

Sure, neither E’Twaun Moore nor Ish Smith have really established themselves in the league, so I can see why the team might like a little outside influence. However — and call me crazy if you want to — but I’m of the opinion that the head coach should be the guy who picks the backup point guard. And furthermore, you would think the website would support them and not try to tell them what to do and/or not create dissent among the organization and its fans.

Let’s say Jacque Vaughn picks Ish Smith as his backup PG and the fans pick E’Twaun Moore on this poll (he’s winning right now, with 59 percent of a whopping 709 votes). I’m sure Vaughn will completely ignore this poll, which he should, but isn’t it weird that the Magic themselves would be encouraging and supporting their fans to disagree with their coach? I certainly think so.

Whatever though — it’s the Magic backup point guard position, so who cares? I just voted for Moore because he grew up near my mom’s hometown and we share a birthday month. When you’re picking a backup point guard for one of the league’s worst teams, any reason to pick a player is a good one. At least there’s no write-ins, otherwise I’m sure Jeremy Lin would be on his way to Orlando to spell Jameer Nelson.

(via SportsGrid)

If you go to the Nets’ actual website (www.nba.com/nets) you’re going to get some actual Brooklyn Nets stuff. But if you just do a quickie-quick Nets.com action, you’re getting that picture you see right there with Mark Cuban sticking his tongue out at fans of the Nets, taunting them for not owning their own splash page.

And at the bottom? A Mikhail Prokhorov picking up prostitutes zinger. As translated by Complex:

“Michael, have you noticed? Vilena wondered…”

That’s supposedly a reference to the since-dropped case of Prokhorov flying women in to “entertain his guests,” if you know what I mean. Zing-wise, that’s the exact sort of thing that would show up on a hacked website, so nice job hackers.

People are saying that Mark Cuban bought Nets.com to mess with his newest rival, but there is absolutely no way that’s the case. One, the WhoIs data shows the site to be in the hands of Cyber Mesa Computer Systems, who have owned the site since 1994 and will continue to own it until 2014. Two, the site is in broken English and Russian, which means a) there’s no way it was Mark Cuban unless this is a too-clever part of the ruse and b) it was probably a Russian. Three, the reference to “Vilena” is something that’s virtually impossible to find on the internet and would therefore have to come from someone who paid attention to the scandal when it was happening (i.e. a Russian). Four, the link on the top right goes to the Russian version of the Nets’ website. Just a hunch — this was the work of a Russian who likes making jokes (possibly Andrei Kirilenko).

Nonetheless, if Mikhail Prokhorov thinks Mark Cuban did this, then that’ll probably push him closer to wanting to fight the Dallas owner. So if you happen to see Prokhorov around, tell him that Cuban did it. Seeing them in wrestling gear, kickboxing to the death will make for great blog content.

Consider this a service to all you dudes out there with deep, powerful voices and solid resumés. I’m not expecting a finder’s fee or anything like that, but I do want you to know I’m looking out for you. I’ve got your back.

Because seriously, all you voiceoverers out there are going to want to know about this. From Philadephia 76ers CEO Adam Aron’s Twitter:

Okay all you aspiring 76ers PA announcers: Apply to NewSixersPA@sixers.com BUT you MUST have previous tv, radio or pa announcing experience

Sounds like a great opportunity for all you smooth talkers out there. Except for former PA guy Tom Lamaine, who I’m guessing didn’t favorite this tweet. Everybody else with silky smooth pipes, however, go for it. Shoot this guy an email and you could be the next voice of the Sixers. Only 20,000 internet nerds saw the want ad, so I’m sure the competition will be minimal and filled with people who are totally normal.

Personally, I think they should hire this guy. He’s got TV and radio experience, the world’s greatest voice and I’m guessing he is available. If you think you can beat him, more power to you.

I don’t know why I find Deron Williams, Kevin Durant and James Harden taking a Segway tour around Barcelona so funny, but I sure do. I think it’s the helmets.

Or maybe it’s because Durant’s handlebars are below his waist. Or maybe it’s just the “Arrested Development” connotations, which are even funnier if you imagine The Hundred Million Dollar Deron telling James Harden he’s not waiting for him because Deron’s the one wearing $6,300 basketball shorts and Harden doesn’t even make that in three months.

A couple more Segway shots after the jump, because why not?

Read the rest of this entry »

Deron Williams is going to be a Net again, this time in Brooklyn, thanks to a lot of money and the team’s willingness to trade everything valuable that they have to put players around him and keep him happy. It’s going to cost the Nets a fortune to keep Williams’ messed up fade in black and white, and it’s going to keep being expensive for a long, long time.

However, Williams’ decision to stay is already paying for itself, at least if Brett Yormark, the team’s CEO, is to believed. According to him, Williams’ tweeting of the Nets logo as his confirmation that he was staying made the team a nice chunk of change. From the New York Daily News:

Barclays Center sold roughly 500 new season tickets on Tuesday, turning in a one-day, seven-figure haul, according to Brett Yormark, the CEO of Brooklyn Sports & Entertainment.

It’s the best day Yormark could remember in his seven years with the Nets, and perhaps record-breaking. It came on the day Williams decided to return and a day after the Nets secured six-time All-Star Joe Johnson in a trade that won’t be official until July 11.

For years, people wondered how Twitter was going to make money. Would it just be through promoted tweets? Selling off user information to become a huge advertising database like Google? Would they charge for premium features of their surface? There are a lot of different options, but it turns out all they need to do is find out a way to monetize Deron Williams’ feed. I mean, if one of his tweets can sell 500 season tickets and make the Nets a million bucks, there has to be some sort of potential for Twitter to make some serious cash.

And hey, if the Nets can figure out a way for Deron to tweet something this important every day, trading for Joe Johnson’s gigantic contract won’t even be that big of a deal. Based on Yormark’s figures, it’d only take another 89 Deron Williams tweets to pay that thing off. Sure, that would also mean they sold another 44,000 season tickets, which is 2.5 times as many seats are available at the Barclay Center without including the current season ticket holders, but it’s probably worth it. Anything to pay that thing off.

(via SLAM)